Barney: I always hoped Bart would grow up to be just like us. What happened?
Moe: Aw, it ain't no mystery. Whole modern world's got a swishifyin' effect on kids today. And their MTVs and their diet sodas ain't gonna set 'em straight, neither. You gotta do it yourself, Homer, and you gotta do it fast.
Homer: But what would turn Bart into a man fast? You have to think for me!
Moe: Well, let's see now, uh, time was you sent a boy off to war. Shooting a man'd fix 'em right up. But there's not even any wars no more, [sarcastically] thank you very much, Warren Christopher!
Barney: Hey, better yet, Bart could shoot a deer! That's like shooting a beautiful man.
Moe: Hey, he's right, Homer. After the boy bags a deer, all the diet sodas in the world won't turn him back. And you just sit back, [winks] and watch the grandkids roll in.