Homer: Why won't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?
Grampa: Ok, I'm an Elk, a Mason, a Communist, the president of The Gay and Lesbian Committee for some reason. Oh, here it is... The Stonecutters.
Homer: Yes, thank you dad. Lets go!... I'll take this Communist one too!
Number One: You have joined the Sacred Order of the Stonecutters who since ancient times have split the rocks of ignorance that obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Now let's all get drunk and play ping pong!
Homer: I'm going to follow them tonight and see where they go.
Marge: Oh, Homer, don't start stalking people again. It's so illegal. Remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you thought he dug up your garden?
Homer: Well, something did!
Marge: I don't want you stalking anyone tonight.
Homer: Oh, okay, have it your own way, Marge. I'll be back in a minute. I'm... going outside to... stalk... Lenny and Carl. (pause) D'oh!
Homer: You better run, egg!
Homer: I always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is. And it's me.