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{{Tab|Quo}}
 
{{Tab|Quo}}
 
{{Spacer}}
 
 
{{PrevNext|Quo|A Streetcar Named Marge|Lisa the Beauty Queen}}
 
{{PrevNext|Quo|A Streetcar Named Marge|Lisa the Beauty Queen}}
{{Spacer}}
 
   
  +
:([[Groundskeeper Willie]] starts working on melting the ice from the church door with a welding torch.)
  +
:'''[[Timothy Lovejoy|Reverend Lovejoy]]''': How's that door coming, Willie?
  +
:'''Willie''': Miracles are ''yer'' department, Reverend!
  +
----
 
:'''Flanders Family''': Rise and shine and give God your glory, glory!
 
:'''Flanders Family''': Rise and shine and give God your glory, glory!
:'''Homer: '''GROWL!
+
:'''Homer''': GROWL!
 
:''Homer guns it on the accelerator to avoid the Flanderses, who bother him even on the road. ''
 
:''Homer guns it on the accelerator to avoid the Flanderses, who bother him even on the road. ''
:'''Rod Flanders''': Dad, the heathen is getting away!
+
:'''Rod Flanders''': Dad, the heathen's getting away!
:''Music akin to the ''Mission: Impossible'' theme plays as Ned chases Homer. Homer attempts a dangerous stunt: a railroad crossing just before a train is coming and Ned attempts an even more dangerous stunt: launching his car through an open boxcar. Homer drives off pier and lands his car onto a garbage barge that just departed, forcing the Flanderses to give up. Homer gloats as the Flanders family watches him float away.''
+
:'''Ned''': I see him, son!
:'''Homer:''' Tough break, Ned! Heh Heh Heh! Where are we going?
+
:''Music akin to the ''Mission: Impossible'' theme plays as Ned puts his foot down and chases Homer. Homer attempts a dangerous stunt: a railroad crossing just before a train is coming and Ned attempts an even more dangerous stunt: launching his car through an open boxcar. A furious Homer swerves right and drives off pier and lands his car onto a garbage barge that just departed, forcing Ned to rapidly slam the brakes and the Flanderses to give up pursuit. Homer gloats as the Flanders family watches him float away.''
:'''Barge Crewman:''' Garbage Island.
+
:'''Homer''': Tough break, Ned! Heh Heh Heh! Where are we going?
  +
:'''Barge Crewman''': Garbage Island.
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': "Hey Apu, why are you not in church?"
+
:'''Homer''': Hey Apu, why are you not in church?
:'''Apu''': "Oh, but I am in church! I have built a small shrine to Ganesh, the Hindu god of wisdom in the employee's lounge."
+
:'''Apu''': Oh, but I am in church! I have built a small shrine to Ganesha, the Hindu god of wisdom, located in the employee's lounge.
 
:''Apu shows Homer his handmade shrine''
 
:''Apu shows Homer his handmade shrine''
:'''Homer''': "Hey Ganesh, want a peanut?"
+
:'''Homer''': Hey Ganesha, want a peanut?
:'''Apu''': "Please do not offer my god a peanut."
+
:'''Apu''': Please do not offer my god a peanut.
+
----
<hr width=50%/>''Doorbell to Simpson residence rings. Homer answers the door to see it is Krusty going door-to-door appealing for donations.''
+
:'''Krusty''': Hello, I'm collecting for the Brotherhood of Jewish Clowns. Last year, tornadoes claimed the lives of 75 Jewish clowns. The worst incident was during our convention at Lubbock, Texas. There were floppy shoes and rainbow wigs everywhere! (Sobbing) It was terrible!
:'''Krusty''': Hello, I am with the American Federation of Jewish Clowns. We work to provide relief to victims of clown-related accidents. Just last year a gale wind caused the roof of a banquet hall to collapse. 54 clowns perished. The rescue workers had trouble finding everyone will all the nose squakers making noise. Oh, the humanity!
+
:'''Homer''': Wait a minute! Is this a religious thing?
:'''Homer''': Hey! Is this a religious thing?
+
:'''Krusty''': A religious clown thing, yes.
:'''Krusty''': A religious clown thing, sir.
+
:'''Homer''': Sorry.
  +
:'''Krusty''': Well, bless you anyw-
 
:''Homer slams door in Krusty's face.''
 
:''Homer slams door in Krusty's face.''
+
----
<hr width=50%/>''Homer wakes up to find the Simpson residence is aflame and he is trapped inside.''
+
:''[Homer wakes up to find the Simpson residence is aflame and he is trapped inside.]''
 
:'''Homer''': Ahh! What do I do? What do I do? ''Homer coughs'' Oh, the song. The song!
 
:'''Homer''': Ahh! What do I do? What do I do? ''Homer coughs'' Oh, the song. The song!
:'''Homer'''{singing}: ''When the fire starts to burn,''
+
:'''Homer''': (singing) ''When the fire starts to burn,''
 
:''There's a lesson you must learn.''
 
:''There's a lesson you must learn.''
 
:''Something something, then you'll see:''
 
:''Something something, then you'll see:''
 
:''You'll avoid catastrophe!''
 
:''You'll avoid catastrophe!''
 
:''Homer realizes he forgot the lyrics''
 
:''Homer realizes he forgot the lyrics''
:'''Homer'''{talking}: D'oh!
+
:'''Homer''': (talking) D'oh!
+
----
<hr width=50%/>Apu, looking through binoculars, observes that the Simpson residence is aflame.
+
:'''Apu''': (to the bullies) You are on your honor not to steal anything!
:'''Apu'''{talking to himself}: Fire at the old Simpson place! It is my responsibility to deal with it as...
 
:''Apu dons fire chief's helmet.''
 
:'''Apu''':...Fire Chief! You are on your honor not to steal anything!
 
 
:''Jimbo Jones and his gang snicker.''
 
:''Jimbo Jones and his gang snicker.''
:'''Jimbo'''{sarcastically}: We promise.
+
:'''Kearney''': (sarcastically) Oh we won't!.
 
:''Apu picks up Jamshed, who is a small child and places him atop counter.''
 
:''Apu picks up Jamshed, who is a small child and places him atop counter.''
 
:'''Apu''': Little Jamshed, the store is in your hands.
 
:'''Apu''': Little Jamshed, the store is in your hands.
 
:'''Jamshed''': How I have waited for this day.
 
:'''Jamshed''': How I have waited for this day.
:''Jamshed loads a double-barreled shotgun. Jimbo and his gang react in horror and drop all the shoplifted items.''
+
:''Jamshed loads a double-barreled shotgun and takes aim. Jimbo and his gang react in horror and drop all the shoplifted items.''
+
----
<hr width=50%/>:'''Homer''': Flanders, you saved me! Why?
+
:'''Homer''': Flanders, you saved me! Why?
 
:'''Ned''': Heck! You would have done the same for me.
 
:'''Ned''': Heck! You would have done the same for me.
 
:''Homer imagines the Flanders residence aflame. Ned is yelling out the window while Homer is lounging in the hammock''
 
:''Homer imagines the Flanders residence aflame. Ned is yelling out the window while Homer is lounging in the hammock''
Line 48: Line 49:
 
:'''Homer''': He he he he ha he.
 
:'''Homer''': He he he he ha he.
 
:''Homer returns to reality.''
 
:''Homer returns to reality.''
:'''Homer''': "That's right, old friend."
+
:'''Homer''': That's right, old friend.
+
----
<hr width=50%/>:'''Reverend Lovejoy''': Homer, I hope you learned about God as a result of this ordeal.
+
:'''Homer''': Boy, everyone is stupid, except me.
:'''Homer''': Indeed I have. God is a vengeful god. He burned down my home because He was angry with me. Almighty Lord, tell me what you want and it shall be done!
+
:(A few moments later he falls asleep and the house sets on fire)
:'''Reverend Lovejoy''': No, no! That is an incorrect potrayal of God. He did not burn down your house. Rather, God was working through people of various beliefs to save you.
+
----
:''Reverend Lovejoy points out Ned Flanders.''
+
:'''Homer''': You know, I have a feeling there's a lesson here.
:'''Reverend Lovejoy''': Christian.
+
:'''Marge''': Yes, the lesson is-
:''Reverend Lovejoy points out Krusty.''
+
:'''Homer''': No don't tell me! I'll get it. The Lord is vengeful. Oh, spiteful one! Show me who to smite, and they shall be smoten!
:'''Reverend Lovejoy''': Jew.
+
:'''Ned''': (Chuckling) Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.
:''Reverend Lovejoy points out Apu.''
+
:'''Lovejoy''': No, but He was working in the hearts of your friends and neighbors when they went to your aid.
:'''Reverend Lovejoy''': And, uh, miscellaneous.
+
:''Lovejoy points out Ned Flanders.''
:'''Apu''': With all due respect Reverend, I would imagine you would be more familiar in your studies with the Hindu faith. There are 700 million of us in the world.
+
:'''Lovejoy''': Be they Christian...
:'''Reverend Lovejoy''': Hey, that's super!
+
:''Lovejoy points out Krusty.''
+
:'''Lovejoy''': Jew or...
<hr width=50%/>:'''Homer''': "What's the meaning of life?"
+
:''Lovejoy points out Apu.''
:'''God''': "Homer, I can't tell you that. You'll find out when you die."
+
:'''Lovejoy''': ...miscellaneous.
:'''Homer''': "I can't wait that long!"
+
:'''Apu''': Hindu! There are 700 million of us.
:'''God''': "You can't wait six months?"
+
:'''Lovejoy''': (sarcastically) Aww, that's super!
:'''Homer''':"No, tell me now!"
+
----
:'''God''':"Oh, all right. The meaning of life is—"
+
:'''Homer''': Hey wait a minute. Flanders is a regular Charlie Church and god didn't save his house. (The rain put out the fire and the rainbow appears on the house.) D'oh!
  +
----
  +
:'''Homer''': What's the meaning of life?
  +
:'''God''': Homer, I can't tell you that. You'll find out when you die.
  +
:'''Homer''': I can't wait that long!
  +
:'''God''': You can't wait six months?
  +
:'''Homer''': No, tell me now!
  +
:'''God''': Oh, all right. The meaning of life is—
 
:''Show Ends''
 
:''Show Ends''
   
 
{{Season|4|Quo}}
 
{{Season|4|Quo}}
[[Category:Quotes]]
+
[[es:Homer the Heretic/Frases]]

Latest revision as of 00:30, May 18, 2020

Episode
References
Gags
Appearances
Gallery
Quotes
Credits
A Streetcar Named Marge
Homer the Heretic
Lisa the Beauty Queen
(Groundskeeper Willie starts working on melting the ice from the church door with a welding torch.)
Reverend Lovejoy: How's that door coming, Willie?
Willie: Miracles are yer department, Reverend!

Flanders Family: Rise and shine and give God your glory, glory!
Homer: GROWL!
Homer guns it on the accelerator to avoid the Flanderses, who bother him even on the road.
Rod Flanders: Dad, the heathen's getting away!
Ned: I see him, son!
Music akin to the Mission: Impossible theme plays as Ned puts his foot down and chases Homer. Homer attempts a dangerous stunt: a railroad crossing just before a train is coming and Ned attempts an even more dangerous stunt: launching his car through an open boxcar. A furious Homer swerves right and drives off pier and lands his car onto a garbage barge that just departed, forcing Ned to rapidly slam the brakes and the Flanderses to give up pursuit. Homer gloats as the Flanders family watches him float away.
Homer: Tough break, Ned! Heh Heh Heh! Where are we going?
Barge Crewman: Garbage Island.

Homer: Hey Apu, why are you not in church?
Apu: Oh, but I am in church! I have built a small shrine to Ganesha, the Hindu god of wisdom, located in the employee's lounge.
Apu shows Homer his handmade shrine
Homer: Hey Ganesha, want a peanut?
Apu: Please do not offer my god a peanut.

Krusty: Hello, I'm collecting for the Brotherhood of Jewish Clowns. Last year, tornadoes claimed the lives of 75 Jewish clowns. The worst incident was during our convention at Lubbock, Texas. There were floppy shoes and rainbow wigs everywhere! (Sobbing) It was terrible!
Homer: Wait a minute! Is this a religious thing?
Krusty: A religious clown thing, yes.
Homer: Sorry.
Krusty: Well, bless you anyw-
Homer slams door in Krusty's face.

[Homer wakes up to find the Simpson residence is aflame and he is trapped inside.]
Homer: Ahh! What do I do? What do I do? Homer coughs Oh, the song. The song!
Homer: (singing) When the fire starts to burn,
There's a lesson you must learn.
Something something, then you'll see:
You'll avoid catastrophe!
Homer realizes he forgot the lyrics
Homer: (talking) D'oh!

Apu: (to the bullies) You are on your honor not to steal anything!
Jimbo Jones and his gang snicker.
Kearney: (sarcastically) Oh we won't!.
Apu picks up Jamshed, who is a small child and places him atop counter.
Apu: Little Jamshed, the store is in your hands.
Jamshed: How I have waited for this day.
Jamshed loads a double-barreled shotgun and takes aim. Jimbo and his gang react in horror and drop all the shoplifted items.

Homer: Flanders, you saved me! Why?
Ned: Heck! You would have done the same for me.
Homer imagines the Flanders residence aflame. Ned is yelling out the window while Homer is lounging in the hammock
Ned: Help! Help!
Homer: He he he he ha he.
Homer returns to reality.
Homer: That's right, old friend.

Homer: Boy, everyone is stupid, except me.
(A few moments later he falls asleep and the house sets on fire)

Homer: You know, I have a feeling there's a lesson here.
Marge: Yes, the lesson is-
Homer: No don't tell me! I'll get it. The Lord is vengeful. Oh, spiteful one! Show me who to smite, and they shall be smoten!
Ned: (Chuckling) Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.
Lovejoy: No, but He was working in the hearts of your friends and neighbors when they went to your aid.
Lovejoy points out Ned Flanders.
Lovejoy: Be they Christian...
Lovejoy points out Krusty.
Lovejoy: Jew or...
Lovejoy points out Apu.
Lovejoy: ...miscellaneous.
Apu: Hindu! There are 700 million of us.
Lovejoy: (sarcastically) Aww, that's super!

Homer: Hey wait a minute. Flanders is a regular Charlie Church and god didn't save his house. (The rain put out the fire and the rainbow appears on the house.) D'oh!

Homer: What's the meaning of life?
God: Homer, I can't tell you that. You'll find out when you die.
Homer: I can't wait that long!
God: You can't wait six months?
Homer: No, tell me now!
God: Oh, all right. The meaning of life is—
Show Ends


Season 3 Season 4 Quotes Season 5
Kamp KrustyA Streetcar Named MargeHomer the HereticLisa the Beauty QueenTreehouse of Horror IIIItchy & Scratchy: The MovieMarge Gets a JobNew Kid on the BlockMr. PlowLisa's First WordHomer's Triple BypassMarge vs. the MonorailSelma's ChoiceBrother from the Same PlanetI Love LisaDufflessLast Exit to SpringfieldSo It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip ShowThe FrontWhacking DayMarge in ChainsKrusty Gets Kancelled
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