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Homer vs. Dignity |
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- Homer: Er, little help please, little help? I made a boom-boom.
- Man: Oh, gross!
- Man 2: Not where I pee!
- Man 3: Get that out of here!
- Posh Lady: The line in the ladies room was far too long, so I hope you don't mind if- Aargh!
- Homer: Baby made a boom-boom.
- Posh Lady: Oh, my heavens. (She faints)
- Comic Book Guy: (eating marshmallow birds) Ninety-eight. Ninety-nine. One hundred. Oh, if only the real chicks went down this easy.
- Mr. Burns: Look at him, eating candy like a Dutchman. OK, Simpson, you are on.
- (Homer enters the Android's Dungeon)
- Homer: I'd like to buy a mint condition Spider-Man #1, please.
- Comic Book Guy: {sarcastically} And I'd like an hour on the star-deck with 7 of 9, it ain't going to happen.
- (Homer unhinges a briefcase full of cash.)
- Comic Book Guy: {serious} Oh! Saturns rings! let me get that for you!
- (Comic Book Guy enters a security code which releases rare comic book from his vault.)
- Comic Book Guy: Paper bag or triple mylar?
- Homer: No thanks, I'll just eat it here.
- (Homer starts wolfing down pages of the comic right at the counter)
- Comic Book Guy: Oh! No! What are you doing?! Good! Fair! Poor! (crying)
- (Homer eats two marshmallow birds before leaving the store)
- Milhouse: (to Kirk) Hey, Dad, can I have some money for a panda cone?
- Kirk: Gah! What do you do with the $68 I send your mother every month?
- Milhouse: Weekday dad wanted a DVD player.
- Lindsay Neagle: (to Homer) Mr. Simpson, your intelligence profile indicates that you're too "stupid" to stick to a budget.
- Homer: Yes, go on.
- Lindsay Neagle: So let me put this simply. You need more money.
- Homer: How do I get it?
- Lindsay Neagle: I'm a financial "planner", not a financial "consultant."
- Homer: Sorry.
- Lindsay Neagle: Now, I'd like my fee please. (Homer writes a note) I know you're not a deaf mute, Mr. Simpson. We've been talking for the last 20 minutes.