Changes: Homie the Clown/Quotes

Revision as of 02:50, 18 March 2020

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◄	Bart's Comet

Homie the Clown

Bart vs. Australia

►

Homer cannot get the image of Krusty's Klown Kollege out of his mind. He sees a clown that looks like Lenny dancing to circus music

Lenny: Hey, Homer, the section you're supposed to be monitoring is on fire.

Four clowns tumble into room to clown music

Homer: Clowns are funny.

Performing clowns transform into Charlie and three other men who are aflame

Co-workers: AUGH!!! HELP US!

Krusty asks each of his students at clown college where they are from.

Man #1: Georgia.

Man #2: Texas.

Man #3: (also wearing a cowboy hat and speaking with a Texan accent) Uh...Brooklyn.

Man #4: Russia.

Man #5: New Hampshire.

Homer: Homer.

Homer is reading billboards.:

Homer: "This year, give her English muffins." Whatever you say, Mr. Billboard. "Best in the West." That rhymes! "Clown college?!" You can't eat that!

Homer has completed all his courses at Krusty's Klown Kollege and is dressing in a Krusty costume for his commencement

Bart: Wow, I'm sorry I doubted you before, Dad.

Lisa: If there had to be a bastardized version of Krusty, I'm glad it's you.

Homer: Thanks, honey. Bank shot! [bounces seltzer off Bart's cheek and onto Lisa]

Lisa: Wow! That's good aim, Dad.

Homer: Well, it was my major.

Krusty: OK, we'll start off with the baggy -- wha? [sees Homer, whose pants fit him perfectly] Those are supposed to be baggy pants! Baggy!

Homer: Ooh. I've never had a pair of pants that fit this well in my life.

Krusty: OK, memorize these funny place names: Walla Walla. Keokuk. Cucamonga. Seattle --

Homer: [laughs] Stop it, you're killing me! [laughs more] Seattle.

Krusty: Welcome to the noble family of skilled Krustaceans. You will now go back to your home towns and do kids' parties, swap meets, and all the other piddling crap I wouldn't touch with a ten foot clown pole. Now, come and get your catskins -- er, I mean, sheepskins.

Kwik-E-Mart. Homer is dressed as Krusty.

Homer: Wow, I get a 5% discount just for being Krusty?

Apu: How could I charge full price to the man whose lust for filthy magazines kept me in business during my shaky first year? By the way, here is your latest issue of Gigantic Asses.

Krusty has just undergone plastic surgery.

Krusty: I look exactly the same, you moron!

Doctor: Oh, nonsense, Krusty. You look at least 10 years younger. Plus, I did your breasts.

Krusty: Hear me complaining about the breasts?

Luigi Risotto: You don't want to sit with the rest of this scum.

(people get mad)

Luigi: I only consider you scum-a compared to Krusty.

(people forgive him)

Luigi: Yeah, you see how you scum.

Dick: Let's walk and talk. I, uh, I have some wonderful stories about other famous people that include me in some way.

Homer: Er, can't, I'm wanted over at a rodeo.

Dick: Hey, me too. We can go together.

Homer: Um...no, I'm going a different way than you, Dick.

Dick: Your...churlish attitude reminds me of a time I was having dinner with Groucho and--

Homer: Look, you're going to be having dinner with Groucho tonight if you don't beat it.

Homer gets abducted by Fat Tony due to his resemblance to Krusty

Homer: But wait! You can't kill me for being Krusty! I'm not him! I'm Homer Simpson!

Fat Tony: The same Homer Simpson who crashed his car through the wall of our club?

Homer: Uh, actually, my name is Barney, Yeah! Barney Gumble!

Legs: The same Barney Gumble who keeps taking pictures of my sister?

Homer: Uh, actually, my real name is, uh -- think, Krusty, think. -- Joe Valachi!

Louie: The same Joe Valachi who squealed to the Senate Committee about Organized Crime?

Homer: Benedict Arnold!?

Legs: The same Benedict Arnold who plotted to surrender West Point to the hated British?

Homer: D'oh!

Legs: I'm seeing double! Four Krustys!

Don Vittorio DiMaggio: You have brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype.

Legs: No, no, Don Vittorio. You're not.

Don Vittorio DiMaggio: Yes, I am. I know it. I am.

◄ Season 5	Season 6 Quotes	Season 7 ►
Bart of Darkness • Lisa's Rival • Another Simpsons Clip Show • Itchy & Scratchy Land • Sideshow Bob Roberts • Treehouse of Horror V • Bart's Girlfriend • Lisa on Ice • Homer Badman • Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy • Fear of Flying • Homer the Great • And Maggie Makes Three • Bart's Comet • Homie the Clown • Bart vs. Australia • Homer vs. Patty and Selma • A Star is Burns • Lisa's Wedding • Two Dozen and One Greyhounds • The PTA Disbands • 'Round Springfield • The Springfield Connection • Lemon of Troy • Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{Tab|Quo
-|episode=Homie_the_Clown
+|episode=Homie_the_Clown}}
-}}
 {{PrevNext|Quo |Bart's Comet|Bart vs. Australia}}
 :''Homer cannot get the image of Krusty's Klown Kollege out of his mind. He sees a clown that looks like Lenny dancing to circus music''
-:'''Lenny''': Hey, Homer: the section you're supposed to be monitoring is on fire.
+:'''Lenny''': Hey, Homer, the section you're supposed to be monitoring is on fire.
 :''Four clowns tumble into room to clown music''
 :'''Homer''': Clowns are funny.
 :''Performing clowns transform into Charlie and three other men who are aflame''
-:'''Co-workers''': AUGH! HELP US!
+:'''Co-workers''': ''AUGH!!! HELP US!''
+----
-<hr width=50%/>
 :''Krusty asks each of his students at clown college where they are from.''
 :'''Man #1''': Georgia.
-:'''Man #2''': ''(who looks like a younger version of the Rich Texan)'' Texas.
+:'''Man #2''': Texas.
 :'''Man #3''': ''(also wearing a cowboy hat and speaking with a Texan accent)'' Uh...Brooklyn.
 :'''Man #4''': Russia.
 :'''Man #5''': New Hampshire.
 :'''Homer''': Homer.
+----
+:''Homer is reading billboards.'':
+:'''Homer''': "This year, give her English muffins." Whatever you say, Mr. Billboard. "Best in the West." That rhymes! "Clown college?!" You can't eat that!
-<hr width=50%/>
+----
 :''Homer has completed all his courses at Krusty's Klown Kollege and is dressing in a Krusty costume for his commencement''
-:'''Bart:''' Wow, I'm sorry I doubted you before, Dad.
+:'''Bart''': Wow, I'm sorry I doubted you before, Dad.
-:'''Lisa:''' If there had to be a bastardized version of Krusty, I'm glad it's you.
+:'''Lisa''': If there had to be a bastardized version of Krusty, I'm glad it's you.
-:'''Homer:''' Thanks, honey. Bank shot! [bounces seltzer off Bart's cheek and onto Lisa]
+:'''Homer''': Thanks, honey. Bank shot! [bounces seltzer off Bart's cheek and onto Lisa]
-:'''Lisa:''' Wow! That's good aim, Dad.
+:'''Lisa''': Wow! That's good aim, Dad.
 :'''Homer:''' Well, it was my major.
+----
+:'''Krusty''': OK, we'll start off with the baggy -- wha? [sees Homer, whose pants fit him perfectly] Those are supposed to be ''baggy'' pants! ''Baggy!''
-<hr width=50%/>
-:'''Krusty''': OK, we'll start off with the baggy -- wha? [sees Homer] Those are supposed to be baggy pants! Baggy!
 :'''Homer''': Ooh. I've never had a pair of pants that fit this well in my life.
+----
-<hr width=50%/>
 :'''Krusty''': OK, memorize these funny place names: Walla Walla. Keokuk. Cucamonga. Seattle --
 :'''Homer''': [laughs] Stop it, you're killing me! [laughs more] Seattle.
+----
-<hr width=50%/>
 :'''Krusty''': Welcome to the noble family of skilled Krustaceans. You will now go back to your home towns and do kids' parties, swap meets, and all the other piddling crap I wouldn't touch with a ten foot clown pole. Now, come and get your catskins -- er, I mean, sheepskins.
+----
+:''Kwik-E-Mart. Homer is dressed as Krusty.''
-<hr width=50%/>
+:'''Homer: '''Wow, I get a 5% discount just for being Krusty?
-:'''[[Luigi Risotto]]''': "You don't want to sit with the rest of this scum."
+:'''Apu''': How could I charge full price to the man whose lust for filthy magazines kept me in business during my shaky first year? By the way, here is your latest issue of ''Gigantic Asses.''
+----
+:''Krusty has just undergone plastic surgery.''
+:'''Krusty''': I look exactly the same, you moron!
+:'''Doctor''': Oh, nonsense, Krusty. You look at least 10 years younger. Plus, I did your breasts.
+:'''Krusty''': Hear me complaining about the breasts?
+----
+:'''[[Luigi Risotto]]''': You don't want to sit with the rest of this scum.
 :''(people get mad)''
-:'''Luigi''': "I only consider you scum-a compared to [[Krusty]]."
+:'''Luigi''': I only consider you scum-a compared to [[Krusty]].
 :''(people forgive him)''
-:'''Luigi''': "Yeah, you see how you scum."
+:'''Luigi''': Yeah, you see how you scum.
+----
+:'''[[Dick Cavett|Dick]]''': Let's walk and talk.  I, uh, I have some wonderful stories about other famous people that include me in some way.
-<hr width=50%/>
+:'''Homer''': Er, can't, I'm wanted over at a rodeo.
+:'''Dick''': Hey, me too.  We can go together.
+:'''Homer''': Um...no, I'm going a different way than you, Dick.
+:'''Dick''': Your...churlish attitude reminds me of a time I was having dinner with Groucho and--
+:'''Homer''': Look, you're going to be having dinner with Groucho tonight if you don't beat it.
+----
 :''Homer gets abducted by Fat Tony due to his resemblance to Krusty''
-:'''Homer''': But wait.you can't kill me for being Krusty. I'm not him. I'm Homer Simpson!
+:'''Homer''': But wait! You can't kill me for being Krusty!  I'm not him! I'm Homer Simpson!
 :'''Fat Tony''': The same Homer Simpson who crashed his car through the wall of our club?
-:'''Homer''': Uh, actually, my name is Barney, Yeah. Barney Gumble.
+:'''Homer''': Uh, actually, my name is Barney, Yeah! Barney Gumble!
 :'''Legs''': The same Barney Gumble who keeps taking pictures of my sister?
 :'''Homer''': Uh, actually, my ''real'' name is, uh -- think, Krusty, think. -- Joe Valachi!
 :'''Louie''': The same Joe Valachi who squealed to the Senate Committee about Organized Crime?
-:'''Homer''': Benedict Arnold!
+:'''Homer''': Benedict Arnold!?
 :'''Legs''': The same Benedict Arnold who plotted to surrender West Point to the hated British?
-:'''Homer''': D'oh!
+:'''Homer''': ''D'oh!''
+----
+:'''Legs''': I'm seeing double! Four Krustys!
+----
+:'''[[Don Vittorio DiMaggio]]''': You have brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype.
+:'''[[Legs]]''': No, no, Don Vittorio. You're not.
+:'''Don Vittorio DiMaggio''': Yes, I am. I know it. I am.
 {{Season|6|Quo}}