The Fool Monty
How Munched is That Birdie in the Window?
The Fight Before Christmas
Pigeon Owner: He's a homing pigeon, girlie. Why don't you let him fly home? Unless you want to spring for a limo.

Lisa: Looks like you're gonna have to take care of him, Bart.
Bart: Me? Just what in my long, sad history with frogs makes you think I can take care of a bird?

Bart: Go ahead, make fun of me. I lost my heart to a bird.
Nelson: (unenthusiastic) Haw-haw.
Bart: Man, you are not into that. What's wrong?
Nelson: My mom ran off with my birthday clown.

Bart: That coop looks a little flimsy.
Homer: Peh. Flimsy? This gentle pat says different.
(Homer pats coop; the staples pop off and the frame collapses; the chicken wire rolls up back into the box and the staples fall in place to close it)
Homer: D'oh!

Edna Krabappel: I won't ask who sent the message if I can use the pigeon to send an message of my own.
Bart: As long as we're not learning.
Edna Krabappel: Deal.

Mr. Burns: (reads note from pigeon) "Do a ballet dance without no clothes on." Bad grammar. Good advice.

Moe: Hey, Homer. You ever think about racing that bird?
Homer: You can race pigeons?
Moe: Hey, if it moves, you can bet on it.
Bart: What about the Detroit Lions?
Moe: Uh, no, now lay off Detroit. Them people is living through Mad Max times.

Homer: Hmm. Me, the patriarch of a bird-racing dynasty.
(Thought bubble shows Homer with trophy; Danica Patrick appears)
Danica Patrick: Congratulations, Homer.
Homer: Danica Patrick in my thoughts?
Danica Patrick: That's right, Homer. I'm contractually obligated by my sponsors to appear in random fans' fantasies. Better not tell Marge about it.
Marge: You brickyard bimbo!
(They fight, and the thought bubble fades)
Homer: Heheheh. Ended that a little too soon.
(Thought bubble reappears with Danica and Marge beating up Homer)
Homer: What they don't suspect is that I'm into this.

Homer: (chasing Santa's Little Helper around the backyard) Stupid dog! Let go of that delicious bird!

Nelson: What do you think, Mom?
Mrs. Muntz: Well, ask your new father.
(Birthday clown honks his horn)
Nelson: You haven't earned the right to say that to me!

Nelson: This funeral just got depressing.
Martin: Let's lighten up the mood, boys! (Martin, Milhouse, Database and Nelson sing Put on a Happy Face)
Bart: Thanks. That song does make me feel a little better.
Martin: It's from Bye Bye Birdie. (Bart starts crying and runs back into the house)

Homer: Marge, listen to the man. He pays Bart's salary.
Marge: No, he doesn't.
Homer: Why can't you support my gibberish? I'd do it if you were stupid.

Homer: A shrink that takes kids and pets?
Dr. Thurston: Hey, in this economy, I'll even remove tattoos.
Homer: Even my tramp stamp? (Lifts up the back of his shirt to a show tattoo that says "Cheap Trick") I got the idea from a show where people regret these.

Bart: Why is 'It' coming with us? And for once, I'm not talking about Lisa.
Lisa: It's amazing how I feel sorry for you and hate you at the same time. I'm sure there's a German word for it.

Bart: (to Santa's Little Helper) You really don't get it.

Season 21 Season 22 Quotes Season 23
Elementary School MusicalLoan-a LisaMoneyBARTTreehouse of Horror XXILisa Simpson, This Isn't Your LifeThe Fool MontyHow Munched is That Birdie in the Window?The Fight Before ChristmasDonnie FatsoMoms I'd Like to ForgetFlaming MoeHomer the FatherThe Blue and the GrayAngry Dad: The MovieThe Scorpion's TaleA Midsummer's Nice DreamLove is a Many Strangled ThingThe Great SimpsinaThe Real Housewives of Fat TonyHomer Scissorhands500 KeysThe Ned-liest Catch
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.