|| I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can
- Lisa: Dad, this is my moment in the sun. How can you miss it to be with a sandwich?
- Homer: You don't understand. It's not just a sandwich… It's about brotherhood, it's about freedom, it's about three days since I've had one! I'm gettin' the shakes! And I'm gettin' the fries!
- (Groundskeeper Willie is sharpening a knife in a dark corner of the school.)
- Groundskeeper Willie: This year, he gets it in the back...
- (hides the knife as Skinner approaches)
- Principal Skinner: Uh, Willie, did you get the letter about your pay cut?
- Groundskeeper Willie: Aye, there'll be many a cut this year.
- Principal Skinner: Indeed, there will. Budget wise, of course.
- Bart: Come on, man, everyone knows the first day of school is a total wank.
- Principal Skinner: Well, if by wank you mean educational fun, then stand back, it's wanking time!
- Principal Skinner: Bart, your word is imply.
- Bart: Imply. I-M-P…
- Nelson: Bart said 'I am pee'. He's made of pee!
- (The students all laugh.)
- Bart: Well, I got my laugh. I'm outta here.
- Ralph: I made Bart in my pants.
- Ralph: Hey, my locker's gone!
- Principal Skinner: Your affects have been moved to Willie's shack.
- (The locker door slams shut.)
- Groundskeeper Willie: Come along, lad. And lose yer books. They won't help ye where you're goin
- Kent Brockman: The Spellympics is being sued by the Olympics for use of the suffix "lympics." This has got to be the slowest news day ever!
- Lisa: (after her dream) I suppose I could just skip college and marry Milhouse.
- Milhouse: (inside Lisa's dream bubble): I know this is a fantasy, but I'll take it.
- Lisa: (unconscious) Nah. Forget it.
- Milhouse: (as the dream bubble vanishes) No! I'll never be this happy again!
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