Homer to the Max
I'm with Cupid
Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"
Captain McCallister: (to Apu) Thanks for delivering these copies of Jugs. They'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality...for about ten minutes!

Homer: Not if I can help it, and help it I might!

Apu: (praying) Good rice, good curry, good Ghandi, let's hurry!

Homer: (reading cards) "I cherish you, my precious." Hmm... Nah. "To a heck of a blacksmith." Nah, I already got him one. "You're a-peeling. Let's never split!" (laughs) It's funny 'cause they're monkeys!

Bart: And thank you, God, for the bad things adults do, which help distract people from what I'm doing.

Marge: That's too bad, mister. I'm not gonna bail you out this time.
Bart: You're right, Mom. I understand.
Marge: Alright! I'll get you the materials. But you're building it!
Bart: Okay.
Marge: Oh, I'll make the whole thing!

Marge: You're a lifesaver, Apu. All the other stores are closed.
Apu: At 11:30? But this is the peak hour for stoned teenagers buying shiny things!

Homer: Hey! You with the scarf! Stop skywriting!
Skywriter: I have to deliver a message. It's the skywriters' code!
Homer: I am so sick of that damn code!

Homer: Oh, I'm never eating chili again. Ooh, chili!

Homer: Mr. John, I'm your biggest fan. I tape-recorded all your songs off the radio.
Elton John: Oh, that's very sweet. Have a Grammy. (produces one from nowhere)
Homer: Uh… (throws it in a garbage can)

Ned: Aw, gee, the man's just trying to show his wife he cares for her. How can we sabotage his labor of love?
Homer: I don't know. Gasoline, acid, I got some stuff in the trunk.

Homer: Ask yourselves, people, who's to blame for all this?
Dr. Hibbert: Well, I guess we are.
Ned: I suppose I do take Maude for granted.
(The rest of the men murmur in agreement.)
Homer: Will you stop it! It's easy to blame ourselves, but it's even easier to blame Apu!

Homer: This Valentine's crap has gone too far!
Male Crowd: Yeah.
Skinner: Eh, Edna won't even let me clap her erasers.
Sideshow Mel: My Barbara will no longer pleasure me with the French arts!
Moe: The gal I'm stalking had me bumped back to two hundred feet.
Barney: Aw, Moe. That's too far.

Marge: What a lovely home.
Manjula: Oh, you are too kind, Marge. I am sure you have noticed the many small imperfections that fill me with shame.
Marge: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If anything, your home makes me ashamed of my home.
Manjula: Well, let us just say we both feel bad.
Marge: Deal.

Homer: Morning, Apu. Still in hot water with the squaw?

Marge: (hearing Manjula and Apu arguing in Indian) Maybe we should leave.
Homer: Uh, uh, no way. I don't wanna miss a word.
Marge: You don't know, what they're saying.
Homer: I'm picking it up. (listens closely) "Sala" seems to mean "jerk". I think "Manjula" means some kind of spaceship.

Apu: What an outfit! You are one ma-hot mama!
Manjula: You think so?
Apu: I could not let you in the store like that, because you are smoking!

Bart: (reading personals section of newspaper) "Successful mayor type seeks open-minded discreet cheerleader type."
Marge: Oh, that's sweet!

Homer: I used to take out ads like that when we were newlyweds.
Marge: The only ad you took out was to sell our lawn mower!
Homer: We sold it, didn't we?

Season 9 Season 10 Quotes Season 11
Lard of the DanceThe Wizard of Evergreen TerraceBart the MotherTreehouse of Horror IXWhen You Dish Upon a StarD'oh-in' in the WindLisa Gets an "A"Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"Mayored to the MobViva Ned FlandersWild Barts Can't Be BrokenSunday, Cruddy SundayHomer to the MaxI'm with CupidMarge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"Make Room for LisaMaximum HomerdriveSimpsons Bible StoriesMom and Pop ArtThe Old Man and the "C" StudentMonty Can't Buy Me LoveThey Saved Lisa's BrainThirty Minutes Over Tokyo
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