Captain McCallister: (to Apu) Thanks for delivering these copies of Jugs. They'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality...for about ten minutes!
Homer: Not if I can help it, and help it I might!
Apu: (praying) Good rice, good curry, good Ghandi, let's hurry!
Homer: (reading cards) "I cherish you, my precious." Hmm... Nah. "To a heck of a blacksmith." Nah, I already got him one. "You're a-peeling. Let's never split!" (laughs) It's funny 'cause they're monkeys!
Bart: And thank you, God, for the bad things adults do, which help distract people from what I'm doing.
Marge: That's too bad, mister. I'm not gonna bail you out this time.
Bart: You're right, Mom. I understand.
Marge: Alright! I'll get you the materials. But you're building it!
Marge: Oh, I'll make the whole thing!
Marge: You're a lifesaver, Apu. All the other stores are closed.
Apu: At 11:30? But this is the peak hour for stoned teenagers buying shiny things!