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It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge |
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- Marge: Becky, I am so sorry I accused you of trying to kill me and steal my family.
- Becky: Hey, no biggie. I was going to kill you. I even thought of a place to bury you. Then I didn't have a shovel, so I went to the hardware store, and they had six different kinds, and I was just like, "Later!"
- Bart: The kids are saying if you say "Bloody Margie" five times, she'll appear. But then she gouges your eyes out!
- Homer: I hear she mates with men, then eats them!
- Homer: What are these things in the mashed potatoes?
- Becky: That's the skins. I left them on.
- Marge: Nobody's perfect, let me just pick thos…
- Homer: No! Oh, Becky, your potatoes are the best I've ever had! Oh, God!
- Marge: I thought you said the law was powerless.
- Chief Wiggum: Yeah, powerless to help you, not punish you.(He Picks Up an Ice Cream) Mmm. Earned my treat.
- Bart: So, any words for the bride and groom?
- Skinner: Not now, Bart! I'm trying to urinate.
- Bart: You don't seem to be trying very hard.
- Bart: Otto, a red traffic light means what?
- Otto: No time for brainteasers. Today's the day I ask my girlfriend to take a ride on the matrimony pony!
- Krusty: Now we got a special guest. She just flew in from the cuckoo's nest, and boy is she crazy! Crazy Marge Simpson!
- A picture of Marge appears on the screen, with someone behind it (possibly Sideshow Mel)making the mouth move
- Krusty: Heh Heh! Look at that!
- Marge: (presumably Sideshow Mel's voice) Hello, Krusty!
- Krusty: (laughs) Oh that's funny! So, Marge, who's your favourite Native American Warrior?
- Marge: Crazy Horse! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! making cuckoo noises
- Audience finds sketch unfunny as no kids are laughing
- Krusty: Alright! Alright! Stop it! *sighs* This bit's dying. Let's go to the Mad Marge Dancers!
- A group of people in strait-jackets and Marge Masks dance to the Saber Dance
- Marge: Don't mess with me! I've got Jimmies! (throws jimmies in the eyes of ice cream employees)
- Employee: I can only see a horrible rainbow!
- Marge: I've been so unfair to Becky. Maybe I am insane. I mean, I am talking to myself.
- Hans Moleman: (to Marge) You are? Oh, I thought I made a friend.
- Patty: Lisa, it's time you learn the truth about men.
- Lisa: They're pigs?
- Patty: The bitterness is strong with this one.
- Patty and Selma cackle as they press closer to Lisa.