“ | That's a paddlin'. | „ |
~ Jasper Beardsley[src] |
“ | You sunk my battleship! | „ |
~ Jasper Beardsley playing Bingo[src] |
Jasper Theodore Beardsley is a resident of the Springfield Retirement Castle and is often seen around Springfield. He is Abe Simpson's friend.
Biography[]
Jasper is a World War II veteran. Jasper also tried to avoid the draft by disguising himself as a woman and staying in Springfield to play in the local women's baseball league, along with his friend Abe, who was also avoiding the war. He has been a substitute teacher who confiscated everything made of tin (according to Lisa) and got his beard caught in the pencil sharpener.[3] He also preceded Reverend Lovejoy as minister at the Simpsons' church in Springfield. Jasper's father was a legal immigrant from Ireland and his mother was an illegal Mexican immigrant, who was deported when Jasper was 11.
Jasper unsuccessfully auditioned for The Be Sharps by singing "Theme From A Summer Place".[4]
Health Issues[]
It is implied that Jasper is slowly going blind due to his cataracts. This ailment was once cured by a laser fired by a house's security protection equipment, but he was blinded again almost immediately. He accepted this very quickly: "Oh, well. Easy come, easy go." Despite the sight problem, Jasper is a light sleeper, and is still quick with his reflexes. When Abe Simpson tried to steal his dentures one night, Jasper turned on the light immediately and, with a gun aimed at Abe, foiled the nocturnal theft. Also, when everyone comes to watch the Itchy & Scratchy (and Poochie) episode "The Beagle Has Landed", he looks down to Bart and asks "Hey, little girl, is this seat taken?", Bart replies angrily with "I'm not a little girl!! Are you blind?!", in which Jasper replies sadly with "Yes."
In "I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings", he has also stated that he is a diabetic.
Injuries[]
Jasper was put in crude "suspended animation" in the Kwik-E-Mart's freezer, and under advice from Dr. Nick Riviera, Apu kept him frozen. When Jasper's frozen body became popular with customers, Apu started exploiting the spectacle, and transformed the Kwik-E-Mart into a special interest store dealing with weird items, or perfectly ordinary ones which had been made out to be abnormal (for example, a cash machine that dispenses pictures of "dead presidents"). He put a Viking helmet on Jasper (or "Frostillicus," as Apu renamed him), but eventually, Jasper was accidentally unfrozen and stepped out into what he thought was the future. Apu was considering on selling him to The Rich Texan but his dreams of wealth were crushed once again.[5]
In a montage from "The Old Man and the "C" Student", Jasper is shown to have a wooden left leg while sparring with Old Jewish Man. Jasper was shot in his artificial leg by Waylon Smithers, on the same night of the nearly fatal shooting of Mr. Burns.[6] However, in several earlier episodes, he was clearly shown to have both feet.
His beard got caught in a bicycle chain in "Homer's Triple Bypass" and a pencil sharpener in "The PTA Disbands". He also claimed to have "broke" his beard during a Death Race accident with Abe Simpson and Old Jewish Man.
In "Singin' in the Lane", he dies before a bowling match, however, Abe revives him with defibrillator paddles.
In "The Springfield Files", Jasper, under the mistaken belief that it was Wednesday, took some of his Wednesday pills until he learned it was actually Friday, which caused him to morph into a bizarre Lorax-like creature.
In "Moe'N'a Lisa", he is accidentally torched while lighting the Olympic flame.
In "I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings", he gets shot in the arm during a bank robbery.
In "The Scorpion's Tale", the extract of Silvertongue causes his eyes to pop out of his sockets.
In "The Winter of His Content", he dies of a heart attack but is revived by Homer who uses a defibrillator on him.
In "The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be", he hides in a trashcan that bursts into flames.
Jasper is similar to Hans Moleman since he suffers many accidents.
Relationships[]
Jasper is a friend of fellow resident Abe Simpson, but not always. When Abe's girlfriend Bea died, Jasper told him what had happened and comforted him. However, Jasper possibly bullies Abe regularly - on one occasion, he steals Abe's newspaper because he wants to do the crossword puzzle. He had a wife, Estelle, who is now deceased. He apparently had her cremated, and had his successor, Reverend Lovejoy, proceed with the cremation ceremony, although it later became apparent that the ceremony was invalid as it took place during the three months that Lovejoy's ministering license expired.[7]
Trivia[]
- His full name is similar to that of T.J. Detweiler from Disney's Recess, whose full name is Theodore Jasper Detweiler.
- In a deleted scene from the episode In Marge We Trust it is revealed that Jasper was the former priest for First Church of Springfield. This is of course not Canon because the scene was cut to save time.
The Simpsons: Season One | ||||
"Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire": | "Bart the Genius": | "Homer's Odyssey": | "There's No Disgrace Like Home": | "Bart the General": |
Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Minor |
"Moaning Lisa": | "The Call of the Simpsons": | "The Telltale Head": | "Life on the Fast Lane": | "Homer's Night Out": |
Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
"The Crepes of Wrath": | "Krusty Gets Busted": | "Some Enchanted Evening": | ||
Absent | Absent | Absent |
The Simpsons: Season Two | ||||
"Bart Gets an "F"": | "Simpson and Delilah": | "Treehouse of Horror": | "Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish": | "Dancin' Homer": |
Cameo | Absent | Absent | Minor | Absent |
"Dead Putting Society": | "Bart vs. Thanksgiving": | "Bart the Daredevil": | "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge": | "Bart Gets Hit by a Car": |
Absent | Cameo | Absent | Cameo | Absent |
"One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish": | "The Way We Was": | "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment": | "Principal Charming": | "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?": |
Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Minor |
"Bart's Dog Gets an F": | "Old Money": | "Brush with Greatness": | "Lisa's Substitute": | "The War of the Simpsons": |
Cameo | Minor | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Three Men and a Comic Book": | "Blood Feud": | |||
Absent | Absent |
The Simpsons: Season Three | ||||
"Stark Raving Dad": | "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington": | "When Flanders Failed": | "Bart the Murderer": | "Homer Defined": |
Cameo | Minor | Cameo | Cameo | Minor |
"Like Father, Like Clown": | "Treehouse of Horror II": | "Lisa's Pony": | "Saturdays of Thunder": | "Flaming Moe's": |
Absent | Minor | Cameo | Absent | Cameo |
"Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk": | "I Married Marge": | "Radio Bart": | "Lisa the Greek": | "Homer Alone": |
Minor | Absent | Minor | Absent | Absent |
"Bart the Lover": | "Homer at the Bat": | "Separate Vocations": | "Dog of Death": | "Colonel Homer": |
Minor | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Black Widower": | "The Otto Show": | "Bart's Friend Falls in Love": | "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?": | |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
The Simpsons: Season Four | ||||
"Kamp Krusty": | "A Streetcar Named Marge": | "Homer the Heretic": | "Lisa the Beauty Queen": | "Treehouse of Horror III": |
Absent | Minor | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie": | "Marge Gets a Job": | "New Kid on the Block": | "Mr. Plow": | "Lisa's First Word": |
Minor | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Homer's Triple Bypass": | "Marge vs. the Monorail": | "Selma's Choice": | "Brother from the Same Planet": | "I Love Lisa": |
Cameo | Cameo | Absent | Absent | Minor |
"Duffless": | "Last Exit to Springfield": | "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show": | "The Front": | "Whacking Day": |
Minor | Cameo | Absent | Absent | Cameo |
"Marge in Chains": | "Krusty Gets Kancelled": | |||
Cameo | Minor |
The Simpsons: Season Five | ||||
"Homer's Barbershop Quartet": | "Cape Feare": | "Homer Goes to College": | "Rosebud": | "Treehouse of Horror IV": |
Minor | Minor | Absent | Minor | Absent |
"Marge on the Lam": | "Bart's Inner Child": | "Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood": | "The Last Temptation of Homer": | "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)": |
Absent | Minor | Minor | Absent | Minor |
"Homer the Vigilante": | "Bart Gets Famous": | "Homer and Apu": | "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy": | "Deep Space Homer": |
Minor | Absent | Absent | Minor | Absent |
"Homer Loves Flanders": | "Bart Gets an Elephant": | "Burns' Heir": | "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song": | "The Boy Who Knew Too Much": |
Cameo | Minor | Absent | Absent | Minor |
"Lady Bouvier's Lover": | "Secrets of a Successful Marriage": | |||
Minor | Cameo |
The Simpsons: Season Six | ||||
"Bart of Darkness": | "Lisa's Rival": | "Another Simpsons Clip Show": | "Itchy & Scratchy Land": | "Sideshow Bob Roberts": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Minor |
"Treehouse of Horror V": | "Bart's Girlfriend": | "Lisa on Ice": | "Homer Badman": | "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy": |
Absent | Minor | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
"Fear of Flying": | "Homer the Great": | "And Maggie Makes Three": | "Bart's Comet": | "Homie the Clown": |
Absent | Cameo | Absent | Minor | Absent |
"Bart vs. Australia": | "Homer vs. Patty and Selma": | "A Star is Burns": | "Lisa's Wedding": | "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"The PTA Disbands": | "'Round Springfield": | "The Springfield Connection": | "Lemon of Troy": | "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)": |
Minor | Absent | Absent | Absent | Cameo |
The Simpsons: Season Seven | ||||
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)": | "Radioactive Man": | "Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily": | "Bart Sells His Soul": | "Lisa the Vegetarian": |
Minor | Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent |
"Treehouse of Horror VI": | "King-Size Homer": | "Mother Simpson": | "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming": | "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular": |
Cameo | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Marge Be Not Proud": | "Team Homer": | "Two Bad Neighbors": | "Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield": | "Bart the Fink": |
Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Minor |
"Lisa The Iconoclast": | "Homer The Smithers": | "The Day The Violence Died": | "A Fish Called Selma": | "Bart on the Road": |
Cameo | Cameo | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"22 Short Films About Springfield": | "Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"": | "Much Apu About Nothing": | "Homerpalooza": | "Summer of 4 Ft. 2": |
Minor | Minor | Cameo | Cameo | Absent |
The Simpsons: Season Eight | ||||
"Treehouse of Horror VII": | "You Only Move Twice": | "The Homer They Fall": | "Burns, Baby Burns": | "Bart After Dark": |
Absent | Absent | Cameo | Cameo | Minor |
"A Milhouse Divided": | "Lisa's Date with Density": | "Hurricane Neddy": | "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)": | "The Springfield Files": |
Absent | Minor | Cameo | Minor | Minor |
"The Twisted World of Marge Simpson": | "Mountain of Madness": | "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious": | "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show": | "Homer's Phobia": |
Absent | Absent | Cameo | Minor | Absent |
"Brother from Another Series": | "My Sister, My Sitter": | "Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment": | "Grade School Confidential": | "The Canine Mutiny": |
Cameo | Minor | Cameo | Cameo | Absent |
"The Old Man and the Lisa": | "In Marge We Trust": | "Homer's Enemy": | "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase": | "The Secret War of Lisa Simpson": |
Cameo | Absent | Absent | Minor | Minor |
The Simpsons: Season Nine | ||||
"The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson": | "The Principal and the Pauper": | "Lisa's Sax": | "Treehouse of Horror VIII": | "The Cartridge Family": |
Absent | Minor | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Bart Star": | "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons": | "Lisa the Skeptic": | "Realty Bites": | "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace": |
Cameo | Minor | Cameo | Cameo | Minor |
"All Singing, All Dancing": | "Bart Carny": | "The Joy of Sect": | "Das Bus": | "The Last Temptation of Krust": |
Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
"Dumbbell Indemnity": | "Lisa the Simpson": | "This Little Wiggy": | "Simpson Tide": | "The Trouble with Trillions": |
Absent | Major | Absent | Cameo | Cameo |
"Girly Edition": | "Trash of the Titans": | "King of the Hill": | "Lost Our Lisa": | "Natural Born Kissers": |
Cameo | Cameo | Cameo | Cameo | Absent |
The Simpsons: Season Ten | ||||
"Lard of the Dance": | "The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace": | "Bart the Mother": | "Treehouse of Horror IX": | "When You Dish Upon a Star": |
Absent | Absent | Minor | Absent | Absent |
"D'oh-in' in the Wind": | "Lisa Gets an "A"": | "Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"": | "Mayored to the Mob": | "Viva Ned Flanders": |
Minor | Cameo | Cameo | Absent | Cameo |
"Wild Barts Can't Be Broken": | "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday": | "Homer to the Max": | "I'm with Cupid": | "Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"": |
Minor | Cameo | Cameo | Cameo | Absent |
"Make Room for Lisa": | "Maximum Homerdrive": | "Simpsons Bible Stories": | "Mom and Pop Art": | "The Old Man and the "C" Student": |
Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Major |
"Monty Can't Buy Me Love": | "They Saved Lisa's Brain": | "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo": | ||
Cameo | Cameo | Cameo |