Homer: Ahh, looks like I needs some fuel for me mule, some gas for me ass.
(At the demolition derby)
Marge: Catch ya later, radiator! Oh my God. I hit someone... then I taunted him. I've never felt so alive!
(From the set of Afternoon Yak.)
Barbara Walters-Type: Marge, what was Homer like before he broke his jaw?
Marge: Well, he would eat all the time. We'd be making love and he'd have a mouthful of Hershey's Miniatures.
Homer: (Shamefully) Krackle was my favorite.
Grampa: Three wars back, we called sauerkraut "Liberty Cabbage." And we called Liberty Cabbage "Super Slaw." And back then a suitcase was known as a "Swedish Lunchbox." 'Course nobody knew that but me... anyway, "long story short" is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling.
Marge: A formal! The one place you can wear a tiara and not look crazy.
Marge: (to Homer) I am not making you another sparerib smoothie! Most people with their jaws wired shut don't gain weight!
(At the Gay Pride Parade Homer notices the men on the "Fab Abs" float.)
Homer: Oh, look at those abs! Everyone here has a six-pack and I'm the only one with a keg.
Usher #1: They're out of control!
Usher #2: Well, if we wanted to live forever, we wouldn't have become ushers.
[While at the movie theater]
Homer: (muttering under his breath) So many previews, so many previews, so many previews...
Announcer: And now, our feature presentation. (Homer gasps) If that's a phrase you like to hear, then you'll love Movie Call! (Homer screams)
[During the Gay Pride Parade]
Male Marchers: We're here, we're queer, get used to it!
Lisa: You do this every year! We are used to it.
Male Marcher: Spoilsport!
Duffman: Hey, Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar love Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him! Oh yeahhh!