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Jaws Wired Shut |
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- (When the donkey gets tired)
- Homer: Ahh, looks like I needs some fuel for me mule, some gas for me ass.
- (At the demolition derby)
- Marge: Catch ya later, radiator! Oh my God. I hit someone... then I taunted him. I've never felt so alive!
- (From the set of Afternoon Yak.)
- Barbara Walters-Type: Marge, what was Homer like before he broke his jaw?
- Marge: Well, he would eat all the time. We'd be making love and he'd have a mouthful of Hershey's Miniatures.
- Homer: (Shamefully) Krackel was my favorite.
- Grampa: Three wars back, we called sauerkraut "Liberty Cabbage." And we called Liberty Cabbage "Super Slaw." And back then a suitcase was known as a "Swedish Lunchbox." 'Course nobody knew that but me... anyway, "long story short" is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling.
- Marge: A formal! The one place you can wear a tiara and not look crazy.
- Marge: (to Homer) I am not making you another sparerib smoothie! Most people with their jaws wired shut don't gain weight!
- (At the Gay Pride Parade Homer notices the men on the "Fab Abs" float.)
- Homer: Oh, look at those abs! Everyone here has a six-pack and I'm the only one with a keg.
- Usher #1: They're out of control!
- Usher #2: Well, if we wanted to live forever, we wouldn't have become ushers.
- [While at the movie theater]
- Homer: (muttering under his breath) So many previews, so many previews, so many previews...
- Announcer: And now, our feature presentation. (Homer gasps) If that's a phrase you like to hear, then you'll love Movie Call! (Homer screams)
- [During the Gay Pride Parade]
- Male Marchers: We're here, we're queer, get used to it!
- Lisa: You do this every year! We are used to it.
- Male Marcher: Spoilsport!
- Duffman: Hey, Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar love Duff?
- Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
- Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
- Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him! Oh yeahhh!
- Marge: This has been one of the most magical evenings of my life.
- Homer: (enunciating) I'm...horny.
- Marge: I don't know what you said, but I'm sure it was beautiful.