Are you looking for Kearney Zzyzwicz?

I sleep in a drawer!
―Kearney Jr.[src]

Kearney Zzyzwicz, Jr. is the son of Kearney. He hid his existence from his parents by having him sleep in a drawer at night for some years,[1] but now that both of Kearney's parents are incarcerated - one in an asylum and one in prison - this is probably no longer true.

Kearney seems to be very fond of his son, having won custody after divorcing his wife, and now seems to want to teach his son to be just like him. Kearney Jr. may well be smarter than his father, as he grasps that Santa doesn't exist, and episodes taking place in the future show suggest that he's going to graduate before his father too.

Kearney Jr. was also seen sitting on Gil, (who was dressed as Santa Claus)'s lap.[2]


Most of his appearances are brief, background roles, for jokes that highlight that Kearney Sr is a father. The episode where he had a role are in bold.


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