- “Now, at the risk of being unpopular, this reporter places the blame for all of this SQUARELY on YOU, the viewers.”
- ―Kent Brockman[src]
Kent Brockman, once known as Kenny Brockelstien (born October 25, 1939 as Brock Kentman) is a local TV news 'personality' for Channel 6. He hosts the Channel 6 weekday news (Scott Christian is the weekend news anchor and Kent's fill-in) as well as Smartline, a local current affairs show, and also Eye on Springfield, which focuses mostly on Springfield's entertainment news. He also is a failed musician who toys with the idea of being a math teacher.
Kent Brockman represents the worst of his profession: frequently judgmental; careerist to the point of absurdity; and more than willing to film and sensationalize a schmaltzy, emotion driven puff piece for the sake of a few extra ratings points. As with most Simpsons characters, Brockman's ethics and competence vary according to the needs of the episode. Largely due to his very loose ethical standards, he also had no qualms with lying about stories he was involved in. This eventually came to a head when he was exposed of not only lying about serving in Iraq under the 98th Airborne Squadron, but indeed that he had lied throughout his entire news career, which resulted in his firing as well as most of Springfield avoiding him due to losing trust in him to the extent of being visibly sickened by his presence. On a related note, he tends to devote some of his news reports to stuff that are more trivial than truly newsworthy, such as dedicating an entire night to the assassination of a squirrel resembling Abe Lincoln over covering a boy trapped in a well, as well as interviewing Homer winning his 1,000,000th ice cream cone on Smartline over a debate over the Iraq War (although in the latter case, that wasn't actually Kent's fault, as the studio forced him to do the interview since the ice cream store in question Phineas Q. Butterfat's 5600 Flavors Ice Cream Parlor, was one of their sponsors, and he implies he was actually intending to do the Iraq debate and wasn't happy at this development). Also, he has conflicting personality traits. One minute, he claims to be a typical robust male who loves his steak and beer, and yet he also has claims to be a sci-fi geek who is a member of the Battlestar Galactica fanclub (the new one, not the old one). He has been seen throwing tantrums because he cannot find certain snack foods, and once blithely announced on-the-air that the boom operator on his news program was being fired the next morning (for which he took a clout on the head from the angry soon-to-be-ex-employee). He seems to command excessive levels of power within Channel 6, even having a segment of the news program to air his own (usually highly reactionary) opinions on current issues called My Two Cents. His comments and views on people with mental illness has also not gone down well, saying in online sports forums that he is on his "two tablets a day and doing fine," which was meant as a put-down to people with such conditions. Despite all of this, he has won a string of media awards, but is most proud of his unspecified trophy from Del Monte. He was also a war correspondent during the Vietnam War, the Soviet war in Afghanistan, and the Gulf War (although, as he just says "Iraq", he could have been referring to the Iran-Iraq War). He also frequently uses Botox, having a saggy face without it, and is also balding rapidly.
Brockman has at least two daughters, one of whom was preteen, and the other was old enough for Arnie Pye to be making out with her behind Kent Brockman's back, and a preteen son, and has jealously mentioned his sister, who is a White House correspondent for CNN. Brockman owns a collie named Jessica, whom he had "fixed", and drives a blue Mercedes-Benz S420.
It is suggested that Kent is an alcoholic, unsympathetic and not understanding of what some people have been through in their lives also can be a very resentful person when criticized, and tends to hold grudges against people who have wronged him in the past even though they have apologized for their actions, and apologies have been accepted by him, after he was seen present at Barney's A.A. meeting in Days of Wine and D'oh'ses.
Brockman once won the multi-million-dollar ($130 million) state lottery jackpot and left the news desk while still on the air, but he remained a news anchor because he was under contract, though he also admitted that he likes making $500,000 a year. He also has an ongoing feud with traffic reporter Arnie Pye, and has been shown to criticize Pye's reporting; indeed, he once chuckled sadistically upon hearing the news that Pye had been killed in an accident. He mentioned to Pie that he made some smart investments when Arnie complained about the size of Brockman's house. It is also implied that Brockman was largely hated by his contemporaries at Channel 6, as the technical difficulty card for the station depicted Kent Brockman wearing a straitjacket and a cuckoo bird coming out of his forehead while laughing insanely, and Channel 6 News instantly took the opportunity to fire him twice regarding his blunders (once shortly after his demotion to weatherman regarding using foul language on the air [although the official reason for that firing was because he used "cocaine" in his coffee], and the other time after he was exposed as a fraud).
He is known for using news-speak in everyday language; for example, he shouts "This just in: Go to hell!" when he is booed by the crowd when he is revealed to be one of the celebrity judges in the "Bout to Knock the Other Guy Out" final match between Homer Simpson and Drederick Tatum. It was revealed that his 'wit' is provided by a microphone, ear piece and a communications team in a nearby van. He has been seen, more than once, stretching his face and removing wrinkles by clipping a clothes-pin to the back of his head. In addition to his news career, Brockman writes a column for PC Magazine called "Making the Most of Your Modem." Brockman is revealed to have a 'thing' for bondage. It is implied that he may be a heavy smoker, as he was seen smoking a cigarette and saying "Oh God, I love to smoke" afterwards (presumably on camera, given his reaction afterwards) before announcing his live broadcast of the opening day of the new Cosmic Wars movie: The Gathering Shadow. One time, he hired an accountant to take care of his taxes, but the accountant in question did not do the taxes until the last possible moment, a fact that Brockman did not realize until he was doing a live news broadcast on Tax Day.
Brockman was known as Kenny Brockelstein early in his career, and he can be seen wearing the Hebrew Chai symbol as a gold medallion around his neck, suggesting Jewish ancestry. Interestingly, however, he also refers to the Book of Revelation, during an editorial in which he states women rebelling might lead to "anarchy of Biblical proportions" (he is promptly cut off by the station and replaced with a "Technical Difficulties" card depicting Brockman in a straitjacket). Revelation is in the New Testament, suggesting Brockman no longer observes Judaism.
Brockman has been shown to have no problem with using bad or otherwise offensive language on air, and he has been fired for doing so on more than one occasion, though he has always been rehired. Brockman was fired for muttering, "That oughta hold those SOBs," after reporting on Gabbo's identical gaffe in a My Two Cents segment. After Brad Goodman encouraged Springfield to "do what they feel", Kent Brockman reports that because of Brad Goodman exploiting Bart's irreverent personality, people in Springfield are becoming more open with themselves, then says, "...and this reporter thinks it's about fucking time!" (with "fuck" being bleeped out) and isn't fired for his remark (This is presumably because of the "do what you feel" craze making trouble-making rules lenient by a significant degree, as he was also seen spraying whipped cream into his mouth shortly thereafter). During the boxing match between Homer and Drederick Tatum, when introduced and pelted with junk by an irate audience, he also yelled "Go to hell!" in response, though it was implied that he was present in a non-official capacity beyond celebrity status.
When Kent Brockman, after chastising democracy when a last-minute rider in the senate ruined the evacuation of Springfield due to an incoming comet, he decided to announce which people are gay (He based these theories on hearsay, conjecture, assumption and good old fashioned small town gossip) on the grounds that it didn't matter, as he was going to lose the job anyway. He also managed to yell "Penis" on the air once without either being reprimanded for it or it even being bleeped out (although in that particular case, he was doing it to prove that the special live report for the Democratic candidate for the United States House of Representatives, John Armstrong, was an actual live report).
In addition, in A Tale of Two Springfields, he also mentioned Golden Showers (i.e., slang for peeing on someone) on the air when "thanking" Homer Simpson for ensuring Olde Springfield had a Gold Rush (although given his confused reaction to people off screen laughing hysterically at the statement after saying it, as well as the context, he was probably meaning literal golden showers as in golden shower heads, and he was trying to be sincere). On a similar note, he also once said "I pee freely" on the air without being reprimanded or even bleeped out (although in that case, it was implied that he had been tricked into saying it on the air by drunken fraternity boys regarding a giant lizard doing a destructive fight in Springfield, and more specifically as "I.P. Freely", and he proceeded to groan in irritation upon realizing what he had actually said.). Brockman's penchant for using offensive language worked against him, when, after Homer accidentally spills coffee on Brockman's crotch, he shouts what Ned Flanders calls a "super swear" that shocked everyone who watched it ("That hurt like a motherfucker!", with "motherfucker" being muffled). Brockman was demoted to weather man due to the station paying a fine to the FCC, but was then fired when the network executives mistook a ring of Splenda in Brockman's coffee for cocaine (although it was hinted that they also may have been looking for an excuse to fire him). Brockman was later given his job back to silence him (after doing an expose that was seen on YouTube uncovering the real reason the FCC is cracking down on obscenity in the media), with a 50% raise, making his new salary $750,000 per year.
In "Bartman Begins", Brockman saw Kearney and said that he was the man who was dating his daughter, Brittany. Janice told Kent that Kearney was in a band called "Maggot Barf", but Kearney corrected that as "Barf Maggot" and said that he wouldn't get it. Later, a tip comes in about a robbery at the museum, but Kent is only focused on what Pres Hilton is up to. Eventually, he says that the Museum is at least temporarily safe from bullies.
In "Around the World in 80 Bites", Kent tells Homer that he is gonna enter the Duff Eating Contest, but he never did. Later, he tells Homer that eating 500 pounds of Low Great Meat is quite the legacy.
In "Mob Rules", Brockman is one of the people to join Marge's mob to ban Grand Theft Scratchy: Blood Island. He later talks to Sherri (or Terri) about how her mom has a crush on him, which made her husband mad and divorced her, so she says that he ruined her family.
In "Shadow of the Colossal Donut", Brockman says to Homer that if he'd be willing to fight Lard Lad, he could report on his struggle and demise. Kent reports on Homer and Bart fighting Lard Lad, which was a success.
After the game, Kent says that they gonna run the Lard Lad Segment over the end credits. He tells Homer that he only wished the aliens invaded the Mall during Sweeps.
Kent Brockman makes an appearance in this game. He appears in the Level 1 cutscene, heard in house gags in levels 1, 4 and 7, and heard in the first mission of level 7 where his brain is eaten by zombies.
- Kent Brockman has Facebook and appears to be friends with Mark Zuckerberg.
- Kent Brockman's name was revealed to be Brock Kentman, as seen in a Skybox trading card.
- Kent reveled he has a sister that works at CNN in Girly Edition.
Behind the Laughter
Brockman's most famous phrase, repeated in various guises on internet message boards and within popular culture, is "And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords". Another notable quote: "I've said it before and I'll say it again: Democracy simply doesn't work."
There are a few people who could be the inspiration and/or model for Brockman, including the late Los Angeles news anchors Jerry Dunphy and Hal Fishman; the late San Luis Obispo news anchor Rick Martel; Canada's Lloyd Robertson; and Ted Baxter, the airhead news anchor from Mary Tyler Moore, played by Ted Knight. He has also been seen to emulate Ted Koppel, Walter Cronkite or Max Keeping.
- Trust But Clarify
- He Who Controls The Donuts, Controls The World
- Walking Big & Tall
- Faith Off
- Radio Bart
- You Kent Always Say What You Want
- The Springfield Files
- "Dog of Death"
- "The Homer They Fall"
- "Tennis the Menace"
- "Co-Dependent's Day"
- "Mother Simpson"
- "Marge on the Lam"
- "Krusty Gets Kancelled"
- "Bart's Inner Child"
- "Bart's Comet"
- "Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington"
- "You Kent Always Say What You Want"