| “ | I don't like the idea of Milhouse having two spaghetti meals in one day. | „ |
| ~ Kirk Van Houten. |
Kirk Evelyn Van Houten is the unemployed and depressed husband (and first cousin) of Luann Van Houten and the father of Milhouse Van Houten.
He is often viewed with contempt by most citizens of Springfield and is frequently seen as soft and weak-willed, although Kirk has proven that he can be a good person and friend in times of crisis.
He is voiced by Hank Azaria.
Early Life and Marriage[]
Kirk served in the U.S. Army[3] and graduated from Gudger College[4]. His father-in-law's gave him a job at the cracker factory, 'Southern Cracker', in middle management, but when Luann left him, he was fired from the factory. According to Luann, Kirk was not a very good provider, and she had to borrow money from her sister or steal clothes from the church donation box. He is of Dutch and Danish descent but favors the former.[5] He bickers with his relative Norbert Van Houten, Milhouse's uncle, about the latter's Danish heritage.
Kirk's demo tape, "Can I Borrow a Feeling?"
Kirk After Divorce[]
Kirk's race car bed
After the divorce, Kirk was a stereotypical, middle-aged male loser and deadbeat dad, suffering depression after his divorce from Luann.[6] He has been seen with one girlfriend since - Starla Starbeam, a chain-smoking alcoholic who stole his car. Luann got custody of Milhouse when they divorced, but Kirk had visitation rights. Much to his displeasure, Milhouse often addressed him as "Weekend Dad". At one point, during the Saint Patrick's Day Parade, due to a drunken Apu Nahasapeemapetilon's urging for all the attendees to "get naked", he attempted to strip down, citing that the party was just "getting started." However, he wasn't able to do more than take his shirt off before being alerted to Bart Simpson's drunken nature in the parade's most infamous moment.[7] Kirk suffers from the need to cry all the time after his divorce, even in good times. He once cut his foot off to try to get Luann back.[8] After being fired from the Cracker Factory, he struggled to hold down a job. He was once employed as an assistant to the guy who puts fliers under people's windshield wipers.[9] Once, he was implied to have been fired from an unspecified job as a result of his arm being amputated and presumably sewn back on as a result of a failed attempt by the criminal Snake Jailbird trying to decapitate Homer in order to get his car back due to being seen in the unemployment office with his arm in a sling.[10] Kirk also had a job standing on the curb holding a sign directing people to a condo development and worked as a scarecrow protecting a soy-bean crop, which resulted in his eye being gouged by a crow. Since being fired from the cracker company, Kirk seems to be unable to maintain a steady job. He attended Leavelle's Bodyguard Academy and he was also a singer who sold his tapes from the trunk of his car. His song was titled "Can I Borrow a Feeling" and the album featured a picture of Kirk on the front in a robe, which he was using in an attempt to be a smoking jacket. He was also unemployed at some point, surviving on alimony payments and unemployment benefits. In the episode "Days of Wine and D'oh'ses", Kirk is present at Barney's A.A. meeting. The episode was aired after Kirk and Luann divorced, suggesting that Kirk became an alcoholic after the divorce.
Arrest[]
He was once arrested for kidnapping. When Bart goes to a concert his parents banned him from, he hides at Kirk's apartment which leads to his arrest. Despite liking the attraction from the ladies outside the prison, he is released when Principal Skinner, Lisa and Alcatraaz find out Bart was lying.
Trivia[]
- He once had his right arm cut off by the wire that Snake Jailbird was using to decapitate Homer.[11]
- His foot was cut off by Bart and Milhouse in order to help him get back together with Luann.[12]
- He looks like a male Luann and some people wonder if they are related. However, in "Lemon of Troy", Luann reminds Kirk she was from Shelbyville, Springfield's bitter rival, which could mean one of two things:
- Kirk was born in Springfield and married his Shelbyville counterpart. Shelbyville is a kind of bizarro Springfield in which alternate versions of Springfield residents exist. In "Lemon of Troy", Milhouse met his Shelbyville counterpart, almost identical except the other does not wear glasses.
- Kirk and Luann are cousins who were both born in Shelbyville and married each other, probably explaining why their son Milhouse is so messed up. This follows Shelbyville custom, as the town was founded by early dissenting Springfielders who wanted to inbreed. Milhouse also says in "Let's Go Fly a Coot" that his parents were cousins and he turned out "fine" (air-quoted by his lizard tongue immediately after saying it), making this more likely.
- In "Little Orphan Millie" where Kirk and Luann planned to remarry, Bart constantly asked if they were actually siblings, explicitly mentioning their resemblance to one another.
- Despite their remarriage, Kirk and Luann apparently still feuded to some extent, as Luann once locked him outside the house in the snow, and threatened Milhouse with taking away the latter's presents if he let Kirk in as he told Bart when the latter was making last requests in the event that he got caught by Sideshow Bob.[13]
- In "Let's Go Fly a Coot", Milhouse tells Bart that both of his parents are indeed cousins.
- in "Kamp Krustier", it's shown that both Milhouse and Kirk has a bad habit of sucking their thumb which Luann disgusts.
- Kirk is 5 feet 10 inches (178 cm) and weighs 190 pounds (86 kg).[14]
- Kirk apparently carries around a change purse based on his description of Luann's "bedtime stories" to Milhouse during their public spat that led to their divorce.
- He apparently was also not fond of kids singing, based on his remark to Luann after Marge, in a desperate attempt to divert attention from the above, had Lisa come in to sing You're a Grand Old Flag.
Appearances[]
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Episode – "Bart's Friend Falls in Love" - Episode – "Marge vs. the Monorail"
- Episode – "Brother from the Same Planet"
- Episode – "Rosebud"
- Episode – "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)"
- Episode – "Homer the Vigilante"
- Episode – "Bart Gets an Elephant"
- Episode – "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"
- Episode – "Radioactive Man"
- Episode – "Bart Sells His Soul"
- THOH – "Treehouse of Horror VI"
- Episode – "Bart on the Road"
- Episode – "22 Short Films About Springfield"
- Episode – "A Milhouse Divided"
- Episode – "Hurricane Neddy"
- Episode – "Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment"
- Episode – "In Marge We Trust"
- Episode – "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons"
- Episode – "Realty Bites"
- Episode – "Natural Born Kissers"
- Episode – "When You Dish Upon a Star"
- Episode – "Homer vs. Dignity"
- Episode – "Hungry, Hungry Homer"
- Episode – "The Parent Rap"
- Episode – "The Sweetest Apu"
- Episode – "Tales from the Public Domain"
- Episode – "Barting Over"
- Episode – "The Bart of War"
- Episode – "Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
- Episode – "Pranksta Rap"
- Episode – "Little Orphan Millie"
- Episode – "Wedding for Disaster"
- Episode – "Homer Scissorhands"
- Episode – "American History X-cellent"
- Episode – "The Squirt and the Whale"
- Episode – "The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants"
- Episode – "Hardly Kirk-ing"
- Episode – "Gorgeous Grampa"
- Episode – "Pulpit Friction"
- Episode – "The Fabulous Faker Boy"
- Episode – "The Saga of Carl"
- Episode – "Dangers on a Train"
- Episode – "Four Regrettings and a Funeral" (Seen at church and town square)
- Episode – "Yolo"
- Episode – "Labor Pains" (Seen in the Simpsons' backyard and house)
- Episode – "The War of Art"
- Episode – "Luca$"
- Episode – "Days of Future Future"
- Episode – "What to Expect When Bart's Expecting"
- Episode – "Brick Like Me"
- Episode – "Pay Pal" (Flashback)
- Episode – "Simpsorama" (Town Square)
- Episode – "Covercraft"
- Episode – "I Won't Be Home for Christmas"
- Episode – "Walking Big & Tall"
- Episode – "The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants"
- Episode – "Sky Police"
- Episode – "Waiting for Duffman"
- Episode – "Peeping Mom"
- Episode – "The Kids Are All Fight" (Flashback)
- Episode – "Let's Go Fly a Coot"
- Episode – "Mathlete's Feat"
- Episode – "Halloween of Horror"
- THOH – "Treehouse of Horror XXVI" (Homerzilla & Telepaths of Glory)
- Episode – "Friend with Benefit"
- Episode – "Paths of Glory"
- Episode – "Barthood"
- Episode – "Teenage Mutant Milk-caused Hurdles"
- Episode – "Lisa the Veterinarian" (Chlorine Dreams Indoor Water Park)
- Episode – "The Burns Cage" (Seen entering the school)
- Episode – "How Lisa Got Her Marge Back"
- Episode – "Fland Canyon"
- Episode – "Simprovised"
- Episode – "Orange is the New Yellow"
- THOH – "Treehouse of Horror XXVII"
- Episode – "Trust But Clarify"
- Episode – "There Will Be Buds"
- Episode – "Havana Wild Weekend"
- Episode – "Dad Behavior"
- Episode – "The Serfsons"
- Episode – "3 Scenes Plus a Tag from a Marriage" (flashback)
- Episode – "Fears of a Clown"
- Episode – "King Leer"
- Episode – "Throw Grampa from the Dane"
- Episode – "From Russia Without Love"
- Episode – "The Clown Stays in the Picture" (flashback)
- Episode – "Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion"
- THOH – "Treehouse of Horror XXX"
- Episode – "Gorillas on the Mast"
- Episode – "Marge the Lumberjill"
- Episode – "Livin' La Pura Vida"
- Episode – "Frinkcoin"
- Episode – "Better Off Ned (episode)"
- Episode – "Highway to Well"
- Episode – "The Incredible Lightness of Being a Baby"
- Episode – "Warrin' Priests (Part Two)"
- Episode – "The Hateful Eight-Year-Olds" (seen on cruise)
- Episode – "The Way of the Dog"
- Episode – "Undercover Burns"
- Episode – "The Dad-Feelings Limited"
- Episode – "Yokel Hero"
- Episode – "Manger Things" (seen on Christmas card)
- Episode – "Mother and Child Reunion"
- Episode – "The Star of the Backstage"
- Episode – "Bart's In Jail!"
- Episode – "A Serious Flanders: Part One"
- Episode – "A Serious Flanders: Part Two"
- Episode – "Portrait of a Lackey on Fire"
- Episode – "The Longest Marge"
- Episode – "You Won't Believe What This Episode is About - Act Three Will Shock You!"
- Episode – "Bart the Cool Kid"
- Episode – "The Sound of Bleeding Gums"
- Episode – "My Octopus and a Teacher"
- Episode – "Meat is Murder"
- Episode – "Poorhouse Rock" (seen in church)
- Episode – "One Angry Lisa"
- Episode – "Lisa the Boy Scout"
- Episode – "Top Goon"
- Episode – "Hostile Kirk Place"
- Episode – "Pin Gal"
- Episode – "Write Off This Episode"
- Episode – "The Very Hungry Caterpillars"
- Episode – "Clown V. Board of Education"
- Episode – "Homer's Crossing"
- Episode – "A Mid-Childhood Night's Dream"
- Episode – "McMansion & Wife"
- THOH – "Treehouse of Horror XXXIV"
- Episode – "Iron Marge"
- Episode – "Murder, She Boat"
- Episode – "Clan of the Cave Mom"
- Episode – "Night of the Living Wage"
- Episode – "Bart's Birthday"
- Episode – "The Yellow Lotus"
- THOH – "Treehouse of Horror XXXV"
- Episode – "O C'mon All Ye Faithful"
- Episode – "The Man Who Flew Too Much"
- Episode – "Bottle Episode"
- Episode – "The Past and the Furious"
- Episode – "The Last Man Expanding"
- Episode – "P.S. I Hate You"
- Episode – "Stew Lies"
- Episode – "Full Heart, Empty Pool"
- Video game – The Simpsons Game
- Video game – The Simpsons: Tapped Out
- Comic book – Bart Simpson Comics #30
| The Simpsons: Season Three | ||||
| "Stark Raving Dad": | "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington": | "When Flanders Failed": | "Bart the Murderer": | "Homer Defined": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Like Father, Like Clown": | "Treehouse of Horror II": | "Lisa's Pony": | "Saturdays of Thunder": | "Flaming Moe's": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk": | "I Married Marge": | "Radio Bart": | "Lisa the Greek": | "Homer Alone": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Bart the Lover": | "Homer at the Bat": | "Separate Vocations": | "Dog of Death": | "Colonel Homer": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Black Widower": | "The Otto Show": | "Bart's Friend Falls in Love": | "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?": | |
| Absent | Absent | Minor | Absent | |
| The Simpsons: Season Four | ||||
| "Kamp Krusty": | "A Streetcar Named Marge": | "Homer the Heretic": | "Lisa the Beauty Queen": | "Treehouse of Horror III": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie": | "Marge Gets a Job": | "New Kid on the Block": | "Mr. Plow": | "Lisa's First Word": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Homer's Triple Bypass": | "Marge vs. the Monorail": | "Selma's Choice": | "Brother from the Same Planet": | "I Love Lisa": |
| Absent | Cameo | Absent | Minor | Absent |
| "Duffless": | "Last Exit to Springfield": | "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show": | "The Front": | "Whacking Day": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Marge in Chains": | "Krusty Gets Kancelled": | |||
| Absent | Absent | |||
| The Simpsons: Season Five | ||||
| "Homer's Barbershop Quartet": | "Cape Feare": | "Homer Goes to College": | "Rosebud": | "Treehouse of Horror IV": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent |
| "Marge on the Lam": | "Bart's Inner Child": | "Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood": | "The Last Temptation of Homer": | "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Homer the Vigilante": | "Bart Gets Famous": | "Homer and Apu": | "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy": | "Deep Space Homer": |
| Cameo | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Homer Loves Flanders": | "Bart Gets an Elephant": | "Burns' Heir": | "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song": | "The Boy Who Knew Too Much": |
| Cameo | Minor | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
| "Lady Bouvier's Lover": | "Secrets of a Successful Marriage": | |||
| Cameo | Absent | |||
| The Simpsons: Season Six | ||||
| "Bart of Darkness": | "Lisa's Rival": | "Another Simpsons Clip Show": | "Itchy & Scratchy Land": | "Sideshow Bob Roberts": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Cameo |
| "Treehouse of Horror V": | "Bart's Girlfriend": | "Lisa on Ice": | "Homer Badman": | "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy": |
| Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent | Minor |
| "Fear of Flying": | "Homer the Great": | "And Maggie Makes Three": | "Bart's Comet": | "Homie the Clown": |
| Absent | Cameo | Absent | Cameo | Minor |
| "Bart vs. Australia": | "Homer vs. Patty and Selma": | "A Star is Burns": | "Lisa's Wedding": | "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Cameo |
| "The PTA Disbands": | "'Round Springfield": | "The Springfield Connection": | "Lemon of Troy": | "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)": |
| Minor | Absent | Absent | Minor | Cameo |
| The Simpsons: Season Seven | ||||
| "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)": | "Radioactive Man": | "Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily": | "Bart Sells His Soul": | "Lisa the Vegetarian": |
| Absent | Minor | Absent | Minor | Absent |
| "Treehouse of Horror VI": | "King-Size Homer": | "Mother Simpson": | "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming": | "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular": |
| Cameo | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Marge Be Not Proud": | "Team Homer": | "Two Bad Neighbors": | "Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield": | "Bart the Fink": |
| Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Cameo |
| "Lisa The Iconoclast": | "Homer The Smithers": | "The Day The Violence Died": | "A Fish Called Selma": | "Bart on the Road": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Minor |
| "22 Short Films About Springfield": | "Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"": | "Much Apu About Nothing": | "Homerpalooza": | "Summer of 4 Ft. 2": |
| Minor | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
| The Simpsons: Season Eight | ||||
| "Treehouse of Horror VII": | "You Only Move Twice": | "The Homer They Fall": | "Burns, Baby Burns": | "Bart After Dark": |
| Cameo | Absent | Absent | Cameo | Cameo |
| "A Milhouse Divided": | "Lisa's Date with Density": | "Hurricane Neddy": | "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)": | "The Springfield Files": |
| Major | Absent | Minor | Absent | Cameo |
| "The Twisted World of Marge Simpson": | "Mountain of Madness": | "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious": | "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show": | "Homer's Phobia": |
| Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
| "Brother from Another Series": | "My Sister, My Sitter": | "Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment": | "Grade School Confidential": | "The Canine Mutiny": |
| Cameo | Absent | Minor | Cameo | Absent |
| "The Old Man and the Lisa": | "In Marge We Trust": | "Homer's Enemy": | "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase": | "The Secret War of Lisa Simpson": |
| Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| The Simpsons: Season Nine | ||||
| "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson": | "The Principal and the Pauper": | "Lisa's Sax": | "Treehouse of Horror VIII": | "The Cartridge Family": |
| Absent | Cameo | Absent | Cameo | Cameo |
| "Bart Star": | "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons": | "Lisa the Skeptic": | "Realty Bites": | "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace": |
| Cameo | Minor | Cameo | Minor | Cameo |
| "All Singing, All Dancing": | "Bart Carny": | "The Joy of Sect": | "Das Bus": | "The Last Temptation of Krust": |
| Absent | Absent | Cameo | Cameo | Cameo |
| "Dumbbell Indemnity": | "Lisa the Simpson": | "This Little Wiggy": | "Simpson Tide": | "The Trouble with Trillions": |
| Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent | Cameo |
| "Girly Edition": | "Trash of the Titans": | "King of the Hill": | "Lost Our Lisa": | "Natural Born Kissers": |
| Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| The Simpsons: Season Ten | ||||
| "Lard of the Dance": | "The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace": | "Bart the Mother": | "Treehouse of Horror IX": | "When You Dish Upon a Star": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Cameo | Minor |
| "D'oh-in' in the Wind": | "Lisa Gets an "A"": | "Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"": | "Mayored to the Mob": | "Viva Ned Flanders": |
| Absent | Cameo | Absent | Cameo | Absent |
| "Wild Barts Can't Be Broken": | "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday": | "Homer to the Max": | "I'm with Cupid": | "Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"": |
| Minor | Cameo | Cameo | Absent | Cameo |
| "Make Room for Lisa": | "Maximum Homerdrive": | "Simpsons Bible Stories": | "Mom and Pop Art": | "The Old Man and the "C" Student": |
| Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Cameo |
| "Monty Can't Buy Me Love": | "They Saved Lisa's Brain": | "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo": | ||
| Cameo | Cameo | Cameo | ||
| The Simpsons: Season Eleven | ||||
| "Beyond Blunderdome": | "Brother's Little Helper": | "Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?": | "Treehouse of Horror X": | "E-I-E-I-D'oh": |
| Cameo | Cameo | Cameo | Cameo | Cameo |
| "Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder": | "Eight Misbehavin'": | "Take My Wife, Sleaze": | "Grift of the Magi": | "Little Big Mom": |
| Cameo | Cameo | Absent | Cameo | Absent |
| "Faith Off": | "The Mansion Family": | "Saddlesore Galactica": | "Alone Again, Natura-Diddily": | "Missionary: Impossible": |
| Cameo | Absent | Absent | Minor | Absent |
| "Pygmoelian": | "Bart to the Future": | "Days of Wine and D'oh'ses": | "Kill the Alligator and Run": | "Last Tap Dance in Springfield": |
| Cameo | Absent | Minor | Absent | Cameo |
| "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge": | "Behind the Laughter": | |||
| Absent | Absent | |||
Gallery[]
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Citations[]
- ↑ Hostile Kirk Place
- ↑ All's Fair in Oven War
- ↑ A Milhouse Divided
- ↑ A Milhouse Divided
- ↑ Little Orphan Millie
- ↑ "A Milhouse Divided"
- ↑ Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment
- ↑ Large Marge
- ↑ I Am Furious (Yellow)
- ↑ Realty Bites
- ↑ "Realty Bites"
- ↑ "Large Marge"
- ↑ Bobby, It's Cold Outside
- ↑ Hardly Kirk-ing