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Kirk Van Houten sometimes called Milhouse's Dad is the father of Milhouse, and the remarried husband of Luann. He is a Belgian (Brussels), because of his name "Van Houten". He first appeared in Bart's Friend Falls In Love. He is voiced by Hank Azaria.
Kirk After Divorce
Kirk has been is a stereotypical middle-aged male loser and deadbeat dad. Much of Kirk's character revolves around his extreme emotional depression after his divorce from his wife Luann. He has been seen with one girlfriend since - Starla, a chainsmoking alcoholic who stole his car. She hasn't been seen since. Luann got custody of Milhouse when they divorced, but Kirk has visiting rights and is often seen with Milhouse in later episodes. Much to his displeasure, Milhouse often addresses him as "Weekend Dad". Kirk suffers from the need to cry all the time after his divorce, even in good times. In episode Large Marge Milhouse had an idea that Krusty should cut his foot off so people would feel sorry for him and stop protesting; Bart replies "it didn't help your dad get your mom back" He was born on July 11, 1970.
Kirk previously served in the U.S. Army, and graduated from Gudger College. He initially worked at his father-in-law's cracker factory, 'Southern Cracker' (the Dryyyyy Cracker), in middle management (Milhouse often bragged about it at the time). Later in the series, when Luann leaves Kirk, he is fired from the factory. According to Luann, Kirk was not a very good provider, and she had to borrow money from her sister or steal clothes from the church donation box. Kirk reveals in the episode I Am Furious Yellow, where he visits his son's school on career day, that he was currently employed as an assistant to the guy who puts fliers under people's windshield wipers. Kirk also had a job standing on the curb holding a sign directing people to a condo development and worked as a scarecrow protecting a soy-bean crop, which resulted in his eye being gouged by a crow. Since being fired from the cracker company, Kirk seems to be unable to maintain a steady job. At one point, he was seen at Leavelle's Bodyguard Acadamy, indicating that he either wished to become a Body Guard or was willing to become one in order to get a job. He was also was a singer who sold his tapes from the trunk of his car. His song was titled "Can I Borrow A Feeling" and the album featured a picture of Kirk on the front in a robe, which he was using in an attempt to be a smoking jacket.
Kirk was presumed dead in Little Orphan Millie (which happens to be when Luann and Kirk were married). They later found them on a desert island when Milhouse's Uncle's balloon crashed.
He once shouted at Luann that she had to keep up the alimony payments she owed him, and he has been seen at the Springfield Unemployment Office, perhaps suggesting that alimony and unemployment benefits are his only steady sources of income.
In the episode Pranksta Rap he is arrested for kidnapping Bart after Bart goes to a concert Homer and Marge did not allow him to go to and they find out and Bart hides in his draw. He is then accused of kidnapping and is sent to jail. He is released from prison when Skinner, Lisa, and Alcatraaz find out Bart was faking it.
- There was an episode where Homer bought Snake's car and Snake attempted to get his car back by using a barely visible wire to decapitate him. He fails to cut off Homer's head, but Kirk appears driving and complaining saying "I told that idiot to slice my sandwich" and ends up having his arm cut off. Originally, it was supposed to be his sandwich that was cut off, but the writers decided that having it cut off his arm would have been even more shocking.
- He died in one episode when Homer becomes Death, when he was touching a lot of people at a stadium. Kirk was one of them.
- Apparently, he doesn't like it when kids are singing, as while fighting with Luann Van Houten, when Marge attempted to distract the guests from their quarreling by having Lisa come in and sing for them "You're a Grand Old Flag!", Kirk says to Luann "Oh, great! Now you've got the kid singing! I hope you're happy!" just before Luann demands a divorce.
- Episode – "Bart's Friend Falls in Love"
- Episode – "Radioactive Man"
- Episode – "Bart on the Road"
- Episode – "22 Short Films About Springfield"
- Episode – "A Milhouse Divided"
- Episode – "Hurricane Neddy"
- Episode – "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons"
- Episode – "Realty Bites"
- Episode – "Natural Born Kissers"
- Episode – "Homer vs. Dignity"
- Episode – "Hungry Hungry Homer"
- Episode – "The Parent Rap"
- Episode – "The Sweetest Apu"
- Episode – "Tales From the Public Domain"
- Episode – "The Bart of War"
- Episode – "Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
- Episode – "Pranksta Rap"
- Episode – "Little Orphan Millie"
- Episode – "Wedding For Disaster"
- Episode – "The Squirt and the Whale"