Bart: (imitates Grampa and Jacqueline) Don't forget the Smeckler's powder.
Grampa and Jacqueline: Don't make fun!
Marge: I have a neat idea. Why don't you get my mother and we can go out to dinner?
Grampa: I'll be back in a jiffy! (gets an old lady in a wheelchair)
Marge: That's not my mother!
Grampa: I'll be back in a jiffy! (leaves again)
Old Lady: Can I come too? (Homer rolls up his car window) (sadly) Oh.
Homer: Marge, please, old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
Marge: Homer, would you please stop reading that Ross Perot pamphlet?
Grampa: I'm gonna smooch her like a mule eating an apple!
Grampa: You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.
Marge [about Mr. Burns]: He's an awful, awful, awful man! I guess if he makes Mom happy, that's all that really matters.
Homer: That's right, money. Your money's happiness is all that moneys.
(Bart answers the door)
Deliveryman #1: Yeah, hi. I got a special delivery for Homer Simpson.
Bart: That's me.
Deliveryman #1: (punches Bart in the face.) Don't write no more letters to Mr. Sinatra.
Squeaky-voiced Teen: (punches Bart in the face) Stop stealing golf balls from the driving range!
(The doorbell rings)
Deliveryman #2: (through the door) Homer Simpson! I've got a uh.. special delivery for you.
Bart: Go away.
Deliveryman #2: If you do not open the door, Mr. Simpson, I cannot give you your special delivery.
(Bart sees it's his animation cell that he ordered)
Deliveryman #2: Here's your special delivery.
Bart: Thanks...
Deliveryman #2: (punches Bart in the face) And that's for keeping me waiting.
Homer: Well, I'm opposed to the whole thing! Damn opposed!
Bart: He's damn opposed! Damn damn damn opposed!
Homer: Maggie, can you point to the monkey? [Maggie points at Homer] Pfft, what do babies know.
Lisa: Maggie, can you point to the credenza? [Maggie correctly points at the credenza]
Homer: D'OH!
Marge: Homer, you didn't do a very good job frosting Maggie's birthday cake.
Homer: What, it's not Magaggie's birthday? [pauses and looks at the incorrectly-frosted cake] Oh.
Patty: Hello everyone except Homer.
(Matlock gets a defibrillator used on him)
Jasper: What's the matter, Abe? All week you were talking about meeting Matlock, now you've met him, swiped his pills...
(An ambulance drives past)
Paramedic: Clear!
Homer : if he marries your mother Marge, we'll be brother and sisters, and our kids will be horrible freak things with pink skin with no over bites and five fingers on each hand. [Bart, Lisa and Maggie are kids with white skin.]
