Kill the Alligator and Run
Last Tap Dance in Springfield
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge
Vicki Valentine: You've just got to turn that frown upside-down! (Lisa smiles) That's a smile, not an upside-down frown! Work on that, too!

Milhouse: The mall?
Bart: Yeah, it's just like my dad always says:
Homer: (in a thought balloon) For an evening or a week, there's no place like the mall. Food, fun and fashion, the mall has it all!
(Bart runs to the mall, leaving Milhouse behind)
Milhouse: What? What did he say?!

Kearney: (Imitating Marge while driving Homer's car as he can't see) Now, Homie, when we get to the liquor store, buy me some Jack Daniels and a carton of smokes.
Homer: Yes, dear.
(Dolph and Jimbo snicker and exchange a high five)

Professor Frink: Jesus, Mary, and Glavin!

Professor Frink: These shoes are in the off position!
Lisa: You mean I danced all by myself?
Marge: See, honey? All you needed was to believe--
Homer: (interrupts Marge) What are you talking about, Professor Frink? They're clearly in the on position. See? "On".
Professor Frink: I was merely trying to spare the girl's feelings, you insensitive clod.
Homer: Oh...oh! Well, now that I look even closer--
Lisa: (interrupts Homer) Forget it, Dad.

Vicky Valentine: We all do crazy things when we're desperate. I once destroyed Buddy Ebsen's credit rating.
Lisa: Why?
Vicky Valentine: He knows why.

Mexican Milhouse: Qué malo, once again I must sugar my own churro.

Ralph Wiggum: My daddy shoots people!

Vicky Valentine: I'm ever so pissed!

Milhouse: I don't want to go home. My grandma's sleeping in my bed and she has skin like a basketball.

Marge: Well, looks like we got everything for Bart's camping trip: Blair Witch repellent, antler saw, and deep wood Scrabble.

Marge: Come on, Bart. While your dad gets his glasses, we'll go shop for your trip.
Bart: Oh, I hate shopping. Just get me a deck of cards and I'll win whatever I need from the other kids.
Marge: But you need to try things on. Every brand has a different idea of husky.
Bart: (lies on the floor) I'm in tantrum position. T-minus five, four, three…remembering dead cat for real tears, and... (starts sobbing)
Marge: Fine, you win. I'll do your shopping for you.
Bart: Tantrum averted. But now I can't forget the cat! (sobbing)

(While Homer is having his eye exam at Eye Caramba)
Eye doctor: Now read the first line.
Homer: I...ate...pee-pee.
Bart: (laughs)
Homer: Why, you little! (strangles Bart)
Eye doctor: (changes lens from a bad lens to a worse lens on the phoropter) Better or worse?
Homer: (while strangling Bart and looking through the phoropter) Worse!
Eye doctor: (changes lens from the worse lens to a sharper lens on the phoropter) Better or worse?
Homer: (while strangling Bart) Much...better!
Bart: Dad!

Ralph: Lisa's bad dancing makes my feet sad!

Marge: I remember Little Vicki Valentine. Her perky smile and dancing brought America right out of the depression.
Lisa: Well, I think World War II helped a little, Mom.
Marge: Don't smart mouth, Lisa.

Milhouse: [to Bart] The mall?
Bart: Yeah, it's just like my dad always says...
Homer: [in a thought balloon] For an evening or a week, there's no place like the mall. Food, fun and fashion, the mall has it all!
[Bart runs to the mall, leaving Milhouse behind]
Milhouse: What? What did he say?!

Stan: [singing to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know it Clap Your Hands"] If you're happy and you know it shop at Stan's. Giant discounts on your favorite major brands.

Mall Guy: [when he and the police see the mess Milhouse and Bart made in the mall] Oh, my God! Look at this place! How could this happen? Candy chewed, wigs pulled from stands, cheese packages poked and repoked.
Chief Wiggum: Every sign points to one obvious culprit: a giant rat. [Bart and Milhouse look at each other, relieved] You'll have to shut down the mall.
Mall Guy: On President's Day weekend? Are you crazy?
Chief Wiggum: Crazy with concern for the public, yes. Now shut this place down before the old folks come in for their morning walk. [Grampa, Agnes, Old Jewish Man, Alice Glick and Jasper want to come in, but Lou takes Old Jewish Man's walker and uses it as a door barricade]

Lisa: What am I doing wrong, Little Vicki?
Vicki: Well, you're falling a lot. Maybe you should work on that.
Lisa: Yeah, well, no offense, but maybe I need a little more instruction that just "tappa-tappa-tappa".
Vicki: Why, back when I was your age, I had 43 movies under my belt, and I had to do it without tappa-tappa-tappa. I would've killed for tappa-tappa-tappa.

Homer: Hey, we got a postcard from Bart. "Dear Mom and Homer, I'm having fun." Aw, it sounds like he's havin' fun!
Marge: [takes the postcard] Why does it have a picture of Vitamin Barn?
Homer: Didn't you ever go to camp? The old Vitamin Barn.

Professor Frink: Excuse me, Lisa, but I couldn't help but overhear your nerdly predicament. Maybe I can be of assistance with the dancing and the twisting and the [singing] kung fu fighting. Deedle-deedle dee dee doo.

Lou: Well, well. Looks like the cat got the rat.
Chief Wiggum: And that's the end of that..."tail". [brushes his hands off]
Eddie: Uh, Chief, should we try and get the mountain lion back in its crate?
Chief Wiggum: I repeat: [brushes his hands off]

Professor Frink: [to the audience as Lisa's dancing] Stop the clapping, you'll kill us all!

Vicky Valentine: [to Lisa when she's dancing on stage] Nobody upstages Little Vicky! Hissss!

Vicky Valentine: I'm sorry, Lisa, but giving everyone an equal part when they're clearly not equal is called what again, class?
The Class: Communism.
Vicky Valentine: That's right. And I didn't tap all those Morse code messages to the allies 'till my shoes filled with blood just to roll out the welcome mat for the reds.

Season 10 Season 11 Quotes Season 12
Beyond BlunderdomeBrother's Little HelperGuess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?Treehouse of Horror XE-I-E-I-D'ohHello Gutter, Hello FadderEight Misbehavin'Take My Wife, SleazeGrift of the MagiLittle Big MomFaith OffThe Mansion FamilySaddlesore GalacticaAlone Again, Natura-DiddilyMissionary: ImpossiblePygmoelianBart to the FutureDays of Wine and D'oh'sesKill the Alligator and RunLast Tap Dance in SpringfieldIt's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad MargeBehind the Laughter
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