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Homer Defined
Like Father, Like Clown
Treehouse of Horror II
Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky: A rabbi would never exaggerate. A rabbi composes. He creates thoughts. He tells stories that may never have happened. But he does not exaggerate.

Bart: Poor Krusty.
Lisa: A man who envies our family is a man who needs help.

Lisa: Here you go, Bart. It's a long shot, but that's all I can do without learning ancient Hebrew. (Bart stares at her) Bart! I am not going to learn ancient Hebrew!

Bart: Hello, my name's Dimitri. I'm a first-time caller, long-time listener. My question is, if a son defies his father and chooses a career that makes millions of children happy; shouldn't the father forgive the son?
Reverend Lovejoy: I think so.
Monsignor Daly: Yes, of course.
Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky: No way! Absolutely not! Never, never! Who screens these calls? Who's in charge here? There's nobody in charge? They leave a building without people watching it...

Bart:(hears Krusty crying) Krusty, are you all right?
Krusty:(tearfully) Yes, it's just that saying the bracha brings back a lot of painful memories, the old days, my... my father...
Homer: Hey, Krusty, you going to finish that meatloaf or what?

Homer: He's talking funny-talk!
Lisa: No, Dad, that's Hebrew! Krusty must be Jewish.
Homer: A Jewish entertainer? Get out of here!

Krusty: Well, okay. First of all, my real name isn't Krusty the Clown. It's Herschel Krustofsky. My father was a rabbi. His father was a rabbi. His father's father-- Well, you get the idea.

Bart: Krusty, you don't have to be "on" tonight.
Homer: What are you talking about?! Of course he does!
Lisa: No, Dad. Krusty is our guest. Your pratfalls and Punchinello antics aren't necessary here.
Krusty: Very well. You go wait in the car. Sends Mr. Teeny away.
Bart: Aww, we could've seen a monkey!

Lisa: Excuse us, Rabbi Krustofsky?
Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky: Oh, what can I do for you, my young friends?
Bart: We came to talk to you about your son.
Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky: I have no son! (slams the door)
Bart: Oh, great. We came all this way and it's the wrong guy.
Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky: I didn't mean that literally. (slams the door again)

Krusty: (singing) Oh mein papa, to me you are so wonderful! Oh mein papa, come on dad, to me he was so good, come on you know the words. (Krusty and his father together) No-one could be so gentle and so lovable...
Moe: I've got something in my eye.
Barney: Here, take my hanky.
Moe: Agh!

Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.
Bart: Don't worry. I don't even like using the bathroom after you.
Homer: Why you little...! (strangles Bart)
Lisa: Krusty, please continue.
Krusty: Okay.

Season 2 Season 3 Quotes Season 4
Stark Raving DadMr. Lisa Goes to WashingtonWhen Flanders FailedBart the MurdererHomer DefinedLike Father, Like ClownTreehouse of Horror IILisa's PonySaturdays of ThunderFlaming Moe'sBurns Verkaufen der KraftwerkI Married MargeRadio BartLisa the GreekHomer AloneBart the LoverHomer at the BatSeparate VocationsDog of DeathColonel HomerBlack WidowerThe Otto ShowBart's Friend Falls in LoveBrother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?