Treehouse of Horror XXI
Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life
The Fool Monty
Lisa: That school is so great. Teachers teach so much better when they're paid in money and not chickens.

Bart: You punch really good.
Nelson: You think?
Bart: Oh yeah and you always avoid the face around picture day. People really appreciate that.
Nelson: Hey, those memories are forever.
Bart: You really care man. A lot of bullies just phone it in. *cough* Kearney *cough*

Lisa: I'll study so hard I'll make the old me look like Bart.
Homer: That'd be one weird looking kid.

Homer: Oh, I'm sorry, Maggie, but even at your age, I'm sure you understand that things can't always go your way. And that's why I CAN'T BELIEVE WE DIDN'T GET THAT STUPID ELF! (He cries and Maggie is sad)

Lisa: Lord Buddha, I know I'm not supposed to want stuff, but come on!

Principal Skinner: You yell at me about everything.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well I can't yell at anyone else. Teachers have unions. Students have parents.
Principal Skinner: What about Willie?
Superintendent Chalmers: I like Willie.

Principal Skinner: Lisa, one of the hardest jobs I have is throwing cold water on young children's dreams. Ralph, you're not a kangaroo.

Principal Skinner: Buying trophies from those cash-strapped schools really filled out the case.

Lisa: Someday when I'm a grownup, maybe I'll go back and look fondly at our house.
Bart: Well stop in and say hi to me because I'll still be there chilling in my basement bachelor pad.
Homer: Make sure to water my backyard grave.
Bart: As long as I can dig you up and stick you on the front porch every Halloween.
Homer: Just don't dress me up as a woman.
Bart: We'll see.

Selma: What a cheap date.
Moe: I'm not cheap baby. I'm embarrassed to be seen with you. There's a big difference.

Homer: No child of mine will go without anything. Ever. Except quality health care.

Krusty: Mousy and Catsy! Aren't they great?

Homer: Maggie, you can't climb into the TV. If you could, I'd make Alex Trebek answer some questions.

Marge: That's odd. Lisa just threw her saxophone out the window!
Homer: Oh, that's probably because to her, the saxophone is a me and she doesn't want to end up like you! Good night!
Marge: She doesn't want to end up like me?
Homer: No, she does! totally, but uh... with a happier ending! Good night!
Marge: What's so wrong with me?
Homer: Nothing sweetie, nothing. Here, let me explain: She does not want to... turn out like... you... didn't... not until... diplomatic... trapped... Help! Remember nothing! (claps twice)
Marge: (sad) I remember everything.
Homer: Well, If you check your purse I think you'll find... The seven of clubs!
Marge: (checks her purse) No, just a picture of Lisa, who wants to be nothing like me.
Homer: (hugging her) I'm so sorry, Marge. (tries to put the seven of clubs in her purse, but she spots him)

(Lisa and Bart are preparing to go to school)
Lisa: Which kind of kiss did you get?
Bart: Normal, and you?
Lisa: Ice cold.
Bart: You're just imagining things!
Lisa: Oh, yeah? (compares their lunchboxes. Bart's have a heart drawn and Lisa's just says "Contents: Lunch". Bart takes a note out of his lunchbox, saying "I love you")
Bart: What does you note say? (Lisa takes out a playing card from her lunchbox)
Lisa: The Seven of clubs?
Homer: Ta-dah!!

Season 21 Season 22 Quotes Season 23
Elementary School MusicalLoan-a LisaMoneyBARTTreehouse of Horror XXILisa Simpson, This Isn't Your LifeThe Fool MontyHow Munched is That Birdie in the Window?The Fight Before ChristmasDonnie FatsoMoms I'd Like to ForgetFlaming MoeHomer the FatherThe Blue and the GrayAngry Dad: The MovieThe Scorpion's TaleA Midsummer's Nice DreamLove is a Many Strangled ThingThe Great SimpsinaThe Real Housewives of Fat TonyHomer Scissorhands500 KeysThe Ned-liest Catch
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