Lisa: (to Homer) Are you sure you don't want to go to the doctor? I mean, a drawbridge did close on your head.
Homer: Naw, I'll just walk it off. (he also has tire tracks on his head from cars driving over it)
Marge: (seeing a boy at the hospital with a faucet sticking out of his forehead) See, Bart? There's another little boy who played with glue.
Boy's Mother: Actually, it was a plumbing explosion.
Marge: (to Bart, after the other boy and his mother leave) That's the kind of faucet I want for your bathroom.
Lisa: Wait! You promised to take me to the museum!
Marge: I know, honey, but this is a very unusual situation. At least it would be for most families.
Milhouse: Hey Bart, what's your favorite thing about teacher conference day?
Bart: Hmm... I guess that we don't have to go to school.
Milhouse: Wow! Mine too!
Bart: Hey Lis, I'm sorry I ruined your Egyptian thing. We're still buds, right!?
(no response; the scene cuts to inside Lisa's room which, unknown to Bart or Marge, is empty)
Okay, be that way, be a big stupid jerk. Oh, you're not the jerk... I am. Forgive me? Oh, like you're Miss Perfect! Mom, Lisa's making me feel bad!
Marge: (from downstairs) Stop it, Lisa!
Bart: That shut her up.
Lisa: Stupid bus can't even go to the stupid place it's supposed to stupid go!
Homer: I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!
Marge: (to Lisa) In a few years, when you're old enough to drive, then you can take the bus!
Homer: Could you open the window? The cops have Daddy's prints on file.
Homer: Lisa, you can't go this far and then not go further!
Lenny: You sent your little girl downtown on a bus?
Homer: Maaaaaybe... But you don't know Lisa. I mean, she's so smart, they hooked her up to a big computer to try to teach it some things, but she had so much knowledge, it overloaded and then it got really hot and caught on fire!
Carl: That never, ah, happened, did it, Homer?
Homer: Ah, yes, but now I have to leave on a totally unrelated matter.
(gets up to leave the cafeteria; halfway to the exit, he drops his tray to the ground and runs off screaming) Lisa!
Lisa: But it's the last day of the Isis exhibit!
Bart: Well, you should have thought of that before I glued all this stuff to my face.
Lisa: (on the bus stop) Ah, the old number twenty-two. Clean reliable public transportation. The chariot of the people. The ride of choice of poor and very poor alike. Sure, some folks prefer...
Moe: Uh, are you getting on this next bus, kid?
Moe: (whistles) Taxi! (a taxi stops and he enters on it) V.D. Clinic. (the taxi drives off)