|| Love, Springfieldian Style
- Marge: A carnival? What's so romantic about this?
- Lisa: Bye!
- Bart: See you later!
- (Bart and Lisa run off into the carnival.)
- Homer: For the next two hours, we'll be kid-free. It'll be just like the time we lost them at the mall. (Homer and Marge chuckle.) That was the best Christmas ever.
- Homer: They were the Bonnie and Clyde of their day. Their names were Bonnie and Clyde.
- Homer: (groans) Even love is boring when you're stuck in a tunnel of it!
Homer: You know, you're pretty feisty for an upper-class bitch.
Marge: Ooh, I like that you use the technical term for a female dog.
Bonnie and Clyde
- Franklin Roosevelt: To deal with the menace of Bonnie and Clyde, I'm recalling all our air defense forces from Pearl Harbor. (The crowd cheers) Somebody please remind me to move them back.
- Japanese Ambassador: I would be honored to perform that duty.
Shady and the Vamp
- (Shady releases Goofy from the gas chamber at the dog pound.)
- Goofy: This place is no picnic, but it sure beats working for Disney. (laughs Goofy-style)
- Shady (Homer): (To Vamp (Marge)) You know, heaven must have left its doggie door open because you are one (a group of kids run past, crushing him between a fence and a wall)
- Vamp (Marge): Oh, you poor thing! Is there anything I can do?
- Shady (Homer): (Dizzy) You can have dinner with me.
- Vamp (Marge): All right! But keep your nose where I can see it!
- Dog (Moe): Can you bring a friend for me? I like those chicks with them head cones when they start talking, you can drop below the horizon.
Sid and Nancy
- (The Sex Pistols ate hanging out in a bar, but Martin switches the song)
- Martin: (singing) S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night! S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night! (Johnny (Bart) and Sid (Nelson) throws him into the jukebox. Nancy (Lisa) enters the bar)
- Sid Vicious (Nelson): Look! an american Nerd Bird!
- Nancy Spungen (Lisa): Nerd bird? Would a nerd bird have chocolate, huh? whould a nerd bird...
- Johnny Rotten (Bart): (punches the table) Stop saying nerd bird! Chocolate is boring!
- Sid Vicious (Nelson): Maybe I'll have a piece. you know, just to see how boring it is! (The band leaves Sid and Nancy alone. he slices the chocolate bar in two and gives one of the halfs to Nancy)
- Nancy Spungen (Lisa): Oh, you're offering me some? hmm... I guess I could... I mean, I do it all the time! (They eat the chocolate)
- Sid Vicious (Nelson): Yup. It's boring all right! How much more you got?
- Nancy Spungen (Lisa): Lots!
- Paul Cook (Dolph): (to Nelson (Sid Vicious)) : Sidney Sheldon Vicious! Where've you been, chomping Wonka?
- Announcer: Here they are, all the way from outside of Texas, the Sex Pistols!
- Sid Vicious (Nelson): (at one of the shows) Can't reach me bass. me back is front ward!
- (After Nelson (Sid Vicious) causes the speaker to fall on Dolph (Paul Cook))
- Rich Texan: Dang it! I wanted to know what else was bullocks!
- Johnny Rotten (Bart): When I hired a guy named Sid Vicious, I assumed it would be a 30-year business relationship!
- Steve Jones (Jimbo): I told you, we should have gone with Tom Responsible.
- Johnny Rotten (Bart): Slag off!
- (Comic Book Guy kicks Sid (Nelson) and Nancy (Lisa) out of his bar.)
- Comic Book Guy: Your music violates everything punk stands for, which is nothing! You are no longer welcome at CBGB's--Comic Book Guy's Bar.
- Homer: Happy Valentine's Day, and shut your gob!