Much Apu About Something
Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4
Gal of Constant Sorrow
(A Cupid is shooting arrows, but Cletus shoots him down with his shotgun)
Cletus: Hey Brandine! You know how to shake and bake cherub?
Brandine: Cletus, you know I can fry up whatever you can shoot down.
Cletus: Oh, Brandine! Of all the cousins I could've married, you was my sister.

(Lenny takes a girl to the Sweethearts dance)
Lenny: Carl, this is Mandy. Mandy, isn't Carl everything I said he was?
Mandy: Ok Lenny, time to stop talking about Carl.
Lenny: Why don't you to ask me to stop breathing?

Power Plant Employee: Hey Professor, I didn't know you worked here at the plant!
Professor Frink: I consult! Sometimes they listen, sometimes not. People have died... (whispering) You didn't hear that from me!
Power Plant Employee: So, who are you here with?
Professor Frink: Well, no one as yet. But I haven't turned on the old Frink charm! (to a woman) Hello there, vo-ivy. (she ignores him and enters the reactor core room, making Frink sad) Well, there's, uh... no mistaking that message.

Marge: (confronting the Retirement Castle's Employee) You can't keep pumping powerful drugs into people who can't even bite into a peach!
Employee: Mrs. Simpson, it's a fact. If these seniors aren't medicated, I can't binge-watch Boardwalk Empire.
Marge: Nucky dies at the end!
Employee: Yeah? well, screw you!
Marge: I'm going to report you to the state!
Employee: I really don't care! (Marge pulls a pencil that was holding her hair) Wha? You broke me! I'm going to say something I've never said: How can I help you?

(Mrs. Hoover enters Moe's Tavern looking for Professor Frink)
Mrs. Hoover: Have any of you seen John Frink?
Moe: He ain't here.
Mrs. Hoover: But his hovertronic Frinkamacar is parked outside! (points to his hover car)
Moe: Hey, if I say he ain't here, he ain't here!
Lenny: Hey Moe, there's a rat floating in my beer!
Moe: It ain't there. (Mrs. Hoover leaves and Frink comes out from behind the counter)
Professor Frink: Thank you my good man, but, uh... I saw some terrible things down there. Like for one, Moe is pantsless!
Moe: Hey, it's apron only Tuesday.

Grampa: (during his hallucination) Hot diggity! It's America the way I liked it!! before we went to the moon and discovered how boring it was!

(Abe is dancing with Mona on his hallucination)
Marge: This ends right now! She's not real. None of this is real.
Waitress: Imaginary cigarettes? Nonexistent candy?
Grampa: (stutters) Get outta here Marge!! Unescorted women like you aren't allowed in this era!
Marge: I'm not getting out! I'm cutting in. (starts dancing with Abe) You can't live here, you have people in the real world who love you! Two are standing right over here! (points to Bart and Lisa)
Lisa: If you live in the past, you'll never have us! And what's more precious to a Grampa than his grandchildren?
Bart: Particularly his grandson!?
Grampa: Aaw... Your sexist argument has won me over!
Lisa: We women will have our day.
Grampa: Eh... Attaboy. (Lisa groans) Goodbye Mona. And goodbye pack of cigarettes for a quarter. I think I'll miss you the most.

(Abe wakes up from his hallucination and realizes that he, Marge, Bart and Lisa are inside Raphael's Garage)
Raphael: So what, uh... All that dancin' around with me meant nothing!?
Grampa: (chuckles) I'll be back to steal a kiss later! (to the Car lift) And as for you I've got more involved plans. (Marge groans and takes him out of the garage)

Homer: So, Frink is finally going to announce which woman he's chosen to be with at the Springfield Planetarium.
Marge: It's like an episode of The Bachelor, but you drive there and pay six dollars for parking!
Homer: Why are we both explaining it if we all know what's happening!?
Marge: I like talking to you. (they smile at each other)

Season 26 Season 27 Quotes Season 28
Every Man's DreamCue DetectivePufflessHalloween of HorrorTreehouse of Horror XXVIFriend with BenefitLisa with an "S"Paths of GloryBarthoodThe Girl CodeTeenage Mutant Milk-caused HurdlesMuch Apu About SomethingLove is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4Gal of Constant SorrowLisa the VeterinarianThe Marge-ian ChroniclesThe Burns CageHow Lisa Got Her Marge BackFland CanyonTo Courier with LoveSimprovisedOrange is the New Yellow
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