(A Cupid is shooting arrows, but Cletus shoots him down with his shotgun)
Cletus: Hey Brandine! You know how to shake and bake cherub?
Brandine: Cletus, you know I can fry up whatever you can shoot down.
Cletus: Oh, Brandine! Of all the cousins I could've married, you was my sister.
(Lenny takes a girl to the Sweethearts dance)
Lenny: Carl, this is Mandy. Mandy, isn't Carl everything I said he was?
Mandy: Ok Lenny, time to stop talking about Carl.
Lenny: Why don't you to ask me to stop breathing?
Power Plant Employee: Hey Professor, I didn't know you worked here at the plant!
Professor Frink: I consult! Sometimes they listen, sometimes not. People have died... (whispering) You didn't hear that from me!
Power Plant Employee: So, who are you here with?
Professor Frink: Well, no one as yet. But I haven't turned on the old Frink charm! (to a woman) Hello there, vo-ivy. (she ignores him and enters the reactor core room, making Frink sad) Well, there's, uh... no mistaking that message.
Marge: (confronting the Retirement Castle's Employee) You can't keep pumping powerful drugs into people who can't even bite into a peach!
Employee: Mrs. Simpson, it's a fact. If these seniors aren't medicated, I can't binge-watch Boardwalk Empire.
Marge: Nucky dies at the end!
Employee: Yeah? well, screw you!
Marge: I'm going to report you to the state!
Employee: I really don't care! (Marge pulls a pencil that was holding her hair) Wha? You broke me! I'm going to say something I've never said: How can I help you?
(Mrs. Hoover enters Moe's Tavern looking for Professor Frink)
Mrs. Hoover: Have any of you seen John Frink?
Moe: He ain't here.
Mrs. Hoover: But his hovertronic Frinkamacar is parked outside! (points to his hover car)
Moe: Hey, if I say he ain't here, he ain't here!
Lenny: Hey Moe, there's a rat floating in my beer!
Moe: It ain't there. (Mrs. Hoover leaves and Frink comes out from behind the counter)
Professor Frink: Thank you my good man, but, uh... I saw some terrible things down there. Like for one, Moe is pantsless!
Moe: Hey, it's apron only Tuesday.
Grampa: (during his hallucination) Hot diggity! It's America the way I liked it!! before we went to the moon and discovered how boring it was!
(Abe is dancing with Mona on his hallucination)
Marge: This ends right now! She's not real. None of this is real.