- “From now on, forget everything you thought you knew about Luann Van Houten. ”
- ―Luann following her divorce from Kirk
Luann Van Houten (née Mussolini) is the cousin as well as wife of Kirk Van Houten and the mother of Milhouse Van Houten. She has been married to Kirk, divorced due to an argument at one of Homer and Marge's disastrous dinner parties,[1] and later remarried to Kirk.
Contents
Biography
Luann is apparently of Italian and Greek descent. Her mother, Sophie, is Italian, although Luann never speaks Italian or is seen with her mother (who remains in Italy with Luann's half-brother, Bastardo). Luann was born in Shelbyville, a town founded on the principle of freedom to marry one's cousins.[2] Her birthday is December 1. She lacks the stereotypical exaggerated mannerisms associated with most other Italian-Americans in Springfield, such as Fat Tony or the chef Luigi Risotto. When younger, she went to "Camp Land-A-Man" (which basically served as a finishing school) with Marge, Patty and Selma, the future Helen Lovejoy (maiden name unknown), and future realtor Cookie Kwan.[3]
Luann was married to her cousin Kirk Van Houten and gave birth to Milhouse. Their marriage came to an unhappy end; after an argument over a game of Pictionary, she leaves Kirk. Although Kirk found single life tough, Luann used her newfound freedom and heretofore stifled promiscuity to live life in the fast lane.[4] Luann began dating American Gladiator Pyro shortly after her divorce, but was caught cheating on Pyro with his (former) best friend, Gyro. It is implied that Luann had a one-night stand with Otto in the episode Moe Letter Blues after Otto tells Kirk "even I hooked up with your old lady" before apologizing to Milhouse, who says that Otto is his "favorite uncle". Even while married to Kirk she attended a key party at which she slept with Dr. Hibbert.[5] Luann also dated Apu,[6] Disco Stu, and Captain McCallister.
When the Van Houtens are on the verge of reuniting, Bart and Milhouse hatch a scheme to get them to separate again (because Milhouse enjoyed their fighting over him and trying to buy his love). The scheme backfires and nearly results in the separation of Homer and Marge. Since then, they are often seen together.[7] After some years, they plan to marry again. Their honeymoon goes terrible when they are lost at sea and stranded on an island, believed to be dead. When they are rescued, they go back to Springfield, fully reconciled.
Even though they ultimately got back together, they are shown to still have some marital issues. For example, in in Bobby, It's Cold Outside, Milhouse admits when reluctantly refusing to jot down Bart's last words that Luann deliberately locked Kirk out of the house and threatened to take away Milhouse's presents if he so much as even tries to let Kirk inside.
Milhouse and his parents all look so much alike that Bart once asked in Luann and Kirk were siblings.[8] In the season 26 episode "Let's Go Fly a Coot", Milhouse reveals that his parents are actually cousins.
Appearance
Luann has bob-cut blue hair and red round glasses. She wears many different outfits. She sometimes wears white pearl earrings. She also had thick blue eyebrows that, according to Kirk, were fake.
Trivia
- She was apparently born without eyebrows, as Kirk once mentioned that she drew them on badly.
- Apparently, she may not have been a good cook, as Kirk Van Houten, during the dinner party with the Simpson family, implied twice that he hadn't had a decent breakfast since he was in the army, and thought he would get a decent breakfast from high school hooligans egging their Bonneville if they threw him some bacon.
- She apparently frequently told bedtime stories to Milhouse filled with negative vibes about his father, such as how "rotten" it was to be married to a "loser" or the fact that he carries a change purse.
- In the episode "Dumbbell Indemnity" she is shown dancing with Pyro, but has brown hair instead of her usual blue hair.
- She lives next door to Elizabeth Hoover.
- She has a real estate license.
- She once gave Milhouse a Bar Mitzvah card, even though none of the Van Houtens are Jewish and, even if they were, Milhouse would be too young for a Bar Mitzvah as you need to be age thirteen to have one.
- Prior to getting back together with Kirk, Luann showed traits of being a narcissistic parent, a form of abusive parenting. Luann is neglectful of Milhouse, ignores the bullying he endures a school, is overprotective of him, and she often manipulated him by demonizing Kirk. Luann always based her decisions on how it impacted herself rather than how it impacted Milhouse and refused to maintain a healthy relationship with Kirk for the sake of Milhouse's psyche.
- Despite being italian, she doesn't speak with italian accent.
Behind the Laughter
Voice
Luann is voiced by Maggie Roswell, but she temporarily became a non-speaking character from seasons 11-14 when Roswell was forced to leave the show after a pay increase dispute. She made her first speaking appearance again in the Season 15 episode "Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore".
Appearances
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| The Simpsons: Season Three | ||||
| "Stark Raving Dad": | "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington": | "When Flanders Failed": | "Bart the Murderer": | "Homer Defined": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Minor |
| "Like Father, Like Clown": | "Treehouse of Horror II": | "Lisa's Pony": | "Saturdays of Thunder": | "Flaming Moe's": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk": | "I Married Marge": | "Radio Bart": | "Lisa the Greek": | "Homer Alone": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Bart the Lover": | "Homer at the Bat": | "Separate Vocations": | "Dog of Death": | "Colonel Homer": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Black Widower": | "The Otto Show": | "Bart's Friend Falls in Love": | "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?": | |
| Absent | Absent | Minor | Absent | |
| The Simpsons: Season Four | ||||
| "Kamp Krusty": | "A Streetcar Named Marge": | "Homer the Heretic": | "Lisa the Beauty Queen": | "Treehouse of Horror III": |
| Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
| "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie": | "Marge Gets a Job": | "New Kid on the Block": | "Mr. Plow": | "Lisa's First Word": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Homer's Triple Bypass": | "Marge vs. the Monorail": | "Selma's Choice": | "Brother from the Same Planet": | "I Love Lisa": |
| Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Duffless": | "Last Exit to Springfield": | "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show": | "The Front": | "Whacking Day": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Marge in Chains": | "Krusty Gets Kancelled": | |||
| Absent | Absent | |||
| The Simpsons: Season Five | ||||
| "Homer's Barbershop Quartet": | "Cape Feare": | "Homer Goes to College": | "Rosebud": | "Treehouse of Horror IV": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent |
| "Marge on the Lam": | "Bart's Inner Child": | "Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood": | "The Last Temptation of Homer": | "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Homer the Vigilante": | "Bart Gets Famous": | "Homer and Apu": | "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy": | "Deep Space Homer": |
| Cameo | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Homer Loves Flanders": | "Bart Gets an Elephant": | "Burns' Heir": | "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song": | "The Boy Who Knew Too Much": |
| Cameo | Minor | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
| "Lady Bouvier's Lover": | "Secrets of a Successful Marriage": | |||
| Cameo | Absent | |||
| The Simpsons: Season Six | ||||
| "Bart of Darkness": | "Lisa's Rival": | "Another Simpsons Clip Show": | "Itchy & Scratchy Land": | "Sideshow Bob Roberts": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Cameo |
| "Treehouse of Horror V": | "Bart's Girlfriend": | "Lisa on Ice": | "Homer Badman": | "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy": |
| Absent | Minor | Absent | Absent | Cameo |
| "Fear of Flying": | "Homer the Great": | "And Maggie Makes Three": | "Bart's Comet": | "Homie the Clown": |
| Absent | Absent | Cameo | Cameo | Cameo |
| "Bart vs. Australia": | "Homer vs. Patty and Selma": | "A Star is Burns": | "Lisa's Wedding": | "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Cameo |
| "The PTA Disbands": | "'Round Springfield": | "The Springfield Connection": | "Lemon of Troy": | "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)": |
| Minor | Absent | Cameo | Minor | Cameo |
| The Simpsons: Season Seven | ||||
| "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)": | "Radioactive Man": | "Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily": | "Bart Sells His Soul": | "Lisa the Vegetarian": |
| Absent | Minor | Absent | Minor | Absent |
| "Treehouse of Horror VI": | "King-Size Homer": | "Mother Simpson": | "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming": | "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| "Marge Be Not Proud": | "Team Homer": | "Two Bad Neighbors": | "Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield": | "Bart the Fink": |
| Minor | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Cameo |
| "Lisa The Iconoclast": | "Homer The Smithers": | "The Day The Violence Died": | "A Fish Called Selma": | "Bart on the Road": |
| Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Cameo |
| "22 Short Films About Springfield": | "Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"": | "Much Apu About Nothing": | "Homerpalooza": | "Summer of 4 Ft. 2": |
| Cameo | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
| The Simpsons: Season Eight | ||||
| "Treehouse of Horror VII": | "You Only Move Twice": | "The Homer They Fall": | "Burns, Baby Burns": | "Bart After Dark": |
| Cameo | Absent | Absent | Cameo | Cameo |
| "A Milhouse Divided": | "Lisa's Date with Density": | "Hurricane Neddy": | "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)": | "The Springfield Files": |
| Major | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
| "The Twisted World of Marge Simpson": | "Mountain of Madness": | "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious": | "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show": | "Homer's Phobia": |
| Major | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
| "Brother from Another Series": | "My Sister, My Sitter": | "Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment": | "Grade School Confidential": | "The Canine Mutiny": |
| Absent | Absent | Cameo | Cameo | Absent |
| "The Old Man and the Lisa": | "In Marge We Trust": | "Homer's Enemy": | "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase": | "The Secret War of Lisa Simpson": |
| Cameo | Cameo | Absent | Absent | Absent |
| The Simpsons: Season Nine | ||||
| "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson": | "The Principal and the Pauper": | "Lisa's Sax": | "Treehouse of Horror VIII": | "The Cartridge Family": |
| Absent | Cameo | Absent | Cameo | Absent |
| "Bart Star": | "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons": | "Lisa the Skeptic": | "Realty Bites": | "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace": |
| Minor | Minor | Cameo | Cameo | Cameo |
| "All Singing, All Dancing": | "Bart Carny": | "The Joy of Sect": | "Das Bus": | "The Last Temptation of Krust": |
| Absent | Absent | Cameo | Cameo | Absent |
| "Dumbbell Indemnity": | "Lisa the Simpson": | "This Little Wiggy": | "Simpson Tide": | "The Trouble with Trillions": |
| Cameo | Cameo | Absent | Absent | Cameo |
| "Girly Edition": | "Trash of the Titans": | "King of the Hill": | "Lost Our Lisa": | "Natural Born Kissers": |
| Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
Gallery
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