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'Tis the 30th Season
Mad About the Toy
The Girl on The Bus
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Grampa: You're my kind of man, if you know what I mean.

(Philip then kisses Grampa)

Grampa: That's not what I meant!

Philip: I'm sorry, I thought you wanted me to.

Grampa: This is the 40's, guys like you don't exist.

Philip: We'll just finish the session.

Grampa: Aah! No! Stop shooting!

Philip: Where are you going, soldier?

Grampa: I got to remind myself what a real man is.

Kent Brockman: Tonight I'm here with a member of the greatest generation, who feels he hasn't gotten what he's owed. 

Abe: I get social security, Medicare, Medicaid, AARP discounts, plus savings bonds that still pay 37%... but now it's my turn!

Kent Brockman: I'm being told, uh, you're being airlifted - to a much better show.


Abe: For me, the tiny green plastic war never ended. 

Lawrence O'Donnell: There you have it. Abraham Simpson, forgotten hero no more, gets tonight's Last Word. 

Abe: No, you just got the last word.

Lawrence O'Donnell: No, no. You get the last word, then I say, "Last Word." 

Abe: You did it again! Last Word. 

Lawrence O'Donnell: It doesn't work that way. Last Word.

Abe: Yes, it does. Last Word.

Lawrence O'Donnell: Don't mess with me, I'm from Dorchester. Last Word.

Abe: I'm from Poorchester. Last Word. 

Lawrence O'Donnell: Turn off the camera and cut his mic.

Abe: Last Wo... 

Lawrence O'Donnell: You, sir, are banned from MSNBC, CNBC, NBC, and forbidden from using the letters N, B, and C. Last Word. 

Abe: I'm calling Bret Baier. Last Word.

Lawrence O'Donnell: He's unlisted. Last Word.



Philip: It's never too late, Abe. Never too late to find out what your true self is. A paper at Cornell University has showed that no one is 100% straight or gay. 

Abe: Is it peer reviewed? 

Philip: Does it matter?


Season 29 Season 30 Quotes Season 31
Bart's Not DeadHeartbreak HotelMy Way or the Highway to HeavenTreehouse of Horror XXIXBaby You Can't Drive My CarFrom Russia Without LoveWerking MomKrusty the ClownDaddicus Finch'Tis the 30th SeasonMad About the ToyThe Girl on the BusI'm Dancing As Fat As I CanThe Clown Stays in the Picture101 MitigationsI Want You (She's So Heavy)E My SportsBart vs. Itchy & ScratchyGirl's in the BandI'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'ohD'oh CanadaWoo-hoo Dunnit?Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion
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