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The Funeral
Maggie's Brain
Football

Act One[]

Bart: Look at Maggie.
Lisa: What a little bundle of joy.
[Peer inside the bassinet to see the aforementioned bundle of joy lying on her back, pacifier in mouth, arms and legs waving in the way that babies wave their arms and legs.]
Bart: You can tell what's it's thinking by its body language.
Lisa: I think its body language is saying, "I wanna play."
Bart: This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy had roast beef and this little piggy had none! And this little piggy went wee wee wee...
[Maggie kicks Bart in the face]
Lisa: I think its body language is saying, "Game's over."

Act Two[]

Bart: Look at it. Just lying there.
Lisa: I wonder how we looked at it.
[The two peer into the bassinet. Maggie's-eye view of the proceedings. Lisa and Bart are demons, Lisa with Medusa-like hair and claws, Bart with long sinewy hair and pointy ears.]
Bart: Ooba gooba gabba!
Lisa: You're our little sister!
Bart: Gooba gabba gooba gabba!
Lisa: One of us! One of us!
[Back to reality.]
Bart: Just think Maggie. Someday if you're lucky, you'll grow up to be just like us!

Act Three[]

Bart: Do you think a little baby could possibly imagine what its future's gonna be like?
Lisa: I wonder if it has any hopes or dreams or fantasies?
[A giant Maggie stands in the room, on the wall a picture of a pacifier. She tickles the feet of tiny diapered Bart and Lisa lying on their backs in the bassinet, their arms and feet up in the air.]
Bart [giggling]: No, man. Please, we beg you!
Lisa [giggling]: Leave our toes alone!
Bart: Don't tickle me! Don't tickle me!
Lisa: Help! Help! Help!
Bart: Come on! Come on, man!
[Back to reality.]
Lisa: Maybe it's thinking how much it loves us.
Bart: I guess we'll never know...
[Push in on Maggie, lying helplessly in her crib.]


Shorts: Season 1 Shorts: Season 2 Quotes Shorts: Season 3
Making FacesThe FuneralMaggie's BrainFootballHouse of CardsBart and Dad Eat DinnerSpace PatrolBart's HaircutWorld War IIIThe Perfect CrimeScary StoriesGrandpa & the KidsGone Fishin'SkateboardingThe PagansThe ClosetThe AquariumFamily PortraitBart's HiccupsThe Money JarThe Art MuseumZoo Story
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