Moe: Groundskeeper Willie … you know, the guy in the skirt? Bought himself a mail-order bride. But he's too cheap to pay the C. O. D., right? So she's still in a crate down at the post office. Wanna go look-see?
Dr. Hibbert: Lisa, I'm afraid your tummy ache may be caused by stress.
Homer: Well, that's a relief.
Dr. Hibbert: Heh, yeah. Anyway, when it comes to stress, I believe laughter is the best medicine. You know, before I learned to chuckle mindlessly, I was headed for an early grave myself. (chuckles)
Homer: Give it a try, honey.
(Lisa tries to chuckle)
Dr. Hibbert: Oh, now you call that chuckling? Come on, child, force it.
Lisa: I'm really not the chuckling type.
Homer: It's true. I'm always making clever noises, and she never chuckles at 'em.
Hippie Lady: Namaste.
Homer: And a-ooga-booga to you too.
Hippie Lady: May I tell you about our white-light specials?
Homer: Absolutely not. My little girl's tummy hurts. Do you have anything to stop her complaining?
Lisa: (angrily) Dad!
Lisa: I can't believe you did this, dad. Why didn't you put that thing in your room?
Homer: Hmm, that thought never occurred to me. Funny how your mind works in a crisis.
Homer: Ah no. No freezing.
Owner: No, Mr. Simpson. This is a sensory deprivation tank. It blocks out all the external distractions that bombard our souls.
Homer: Can you pee in it?
Lisa: I'll take two hours!
Homer: Me too.
Owner: You're about to take a journey into the mind. You may see and experience things that are strange and frightening. But remember, they can't physically harm you, though they may destroy you mentally.
Lisa: Dad, I still don't understand how you could just give my room away.
Homer: Honey, what's your favorite movie?
Lisa: Well, until you taped over it, "The Little Mermaid".
Homer: That's right. "The Odd Couple". Meet your new, comically mismatched roommate- Bart.