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  • Bart: You suck!
    Lisa: I concur!
  • Homer: We've been through more hardships than the Jews and Charlie Brown put together!
  • Homer: So why didn't you marry one of your crummy backup dancers?
    Tabitha Vixx: They're day laborers. We pick them up in the Home Depot parking lot.
  • "Jock Squawk" host: And that's why Lou Gehrig was a selfish crybaby who deserved to die! Springfield, what do you think?
  • Isotopes announcer: Led Zeppelin is a whole lotta love!
  • Homer: And you said it would never work.
    Duffman: Duffman said he would do whatever you wanted! Please stop kicking and punching Duffman!
  • Duffman: Duffman gives the people what they want!
    Marge: Weren't you just tied up in the blimp?
    Duffman: Three Duffmen are working this game tonight!
    Second Duffman (entering): Don't tell the children, it's disillusioning!
    Both Duffmen: Duffman! Duffman! Duffman! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
  • Lisa: Mom and Dad can't do marriage counseling. If you listen closely, you can here them arguing now. (they then listen closely)
    Homer (in distance): And i say, a monkey can mow our lawn!
  • Baseball Announcer: That ball is going, going, going...and like America's credibility on the world stage, that ball is gone!
  • Lenny: Remember when we used to kiss like that Carl?...with our respective girlfriends?
    Carl: I wonder where Jill and Kelly are now.
    Lenny: I heard Jill died and Kelly I think is a prostitute.
  • Bart (seeing Tabitha dancing around a lamp): (on his cellphone) Cancel all my appointments.
  • Marge: (To Homer) The only person you should be giving chicken grease neck rubs to is me! but not me because I think they're disgusting!
    Homer: Oh, so now we're judging each other based on things we've done?! Real nice, Marge!! Class act!!

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