|| Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play
- Bart: You suck, Buck!
- Lisa: I concur!
- Homer: We've been through more hardships than the Jews and Charlie Brown put together!
- Homer: So why didn't you marry one of your crummy backup dancers?
- Tabitha Vixx: Nah, they're day laborers. We pick them up in the Home Depot parking lot.
- "Jock Squawk" host: And that's why Lou Gehrig was a selfish crybaby who deserved to die! Springfield, let's hear from you!
- Isotopes announcer: Led Zeppelin is a whole lotta love!
- Homer: It's working! Buck's buying my fake message. And you said it would never work.
- Duffman: Duffman said he would do whatever you wanted! Please stop kicking and punching Duffman!
- Duffman: Duffman gives the people what they want!
- Marge: Weren't you just tied up in the blimp?
- Duffman: Three Duffmen are working this game tonight!
- Second Duffman: (entering) Don't tell the children, it's disillusioning!
- Both Duffmen: Duffman! Duffman! Duffman! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
- Lisa: Don't you think it's weird that Mom and Dad are doing marriage counseling. They're always fighting. If you listen closely, you can here them arguing now. (they then listen closely)
- Homer: (in distance) And I say, a monkey can mow our lawn!
- Baseball Announcer: That ball is going, going, going...and like America's credibility on the world stage, that ball is gone!
- Lenny: Remember when we used to kiss like that Carl?...with our respective girlfriends?
- Carl: I wonder where Jill and Kelly are now.
- Lenny: I heard Jill died and Kelly I think is a prostitute.
- Bart: (seeing Tabitha dancing around a lamp) (on his cellphone) Cancel all my appointments.
- Marge: (to Homer) Listen, bub, we are out of this marriage counselling business. And the only one you should be giving chicken grease neck rubs to is me! but not me because I think they're disgusting!
- Homer: Oh, so now we're judging each other based on things we've done?! Real fair!! Class act!!
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