Realty Bites
Miracle on Evergreen Terrace
All Singing, All Dancing
Lisa: This year's tree is just perfect. That old aluminium one was so fake.
Marge: I couldn't agree more. From now on, it's plastic all the way!

Marge: (to Homer) I know you're used to getting hate mail, but I'm not!

Kent: In my long career, I've seen some pretty shabby things, but this putrid fraud out-stinks them all.
Camera Man: Aaaaaaand cut.
Kent: I just wanna thank you folks so much. This has turned out to be a really great story for me!

Moe: You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Society.

Bart: Hey, since when is Christmas just about the presents? Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of this day... the birth of Santa?

(Bart has just told the family the truth about the missing tree and presents)
Lisa: Why, you little...(strangles him)
Homer: Lisa, no! (pulls her off Bart) Your hands are too weak! (strangles Bart, who is then kicked by Lisa)
Marge: Stop it! Stop it! (goes to break up them up)
Lisa: I'm killing him!
Homer: No, I'm killing him first! You wait your turn!

Kent: Kent Brockman here for a follow-up with Springfield's favorite hard-luck family, the Simpsons. Folks, any words for the Christmas thief if he's watching?
Homer: Eh, yes… Kent. Uh, hello… jerk. We may never find you, and we should probably all stop looking, but one thing's for sure… you do exist.
Kent: Strong words, strong bewildering words.

(At the Springfield Retirement Castle, the old folks are dancing in joy)
Homer: Lisa, you promised they'd be miserable! What the hell's going on?
Abe: Oh, the pharmaceutical man come by and he shot us full of Christmas cheer!
Jasper: (laughing) I can't feel nothing below my chin!

Homer: Is this car $15,000?
Salesman: (rubs off the $12,000 price tag) It is now, and because of your loss, folks, I'll throw in the undercoating for two hund---no, four hundred and ninety bucks!
Homer: What a deal! I'd be a sucker not to get it!
Bart: I don't know about this, Dad. Shouldn't we give the money to charity or some—ow!
Salesman: Oh, I'm sorry. I jammed you with my pen.
Bart: Ow! You're still doing it!
Salesman: I know.

Krusty: Fifteen thousand Missoulians? Holy shlamola! Whaddya gonna do with all that kablingy?

Marge: [gasps] What happened?
Bart gasps to see the family glance down at the empty space where the tree and presents had been.
Homer: [mutters] Where's Christmas? Lisa! Where's Christmas?
Lisa: Bart, what were you doing outside?
Bart: I-I don't know how to tell you this, but I came down a little early [starts to cry] I saw a burglar and...he was....he took all our stuff, including the tree!
Marge: We were robbed?! [Bart continues to cry; Homer gasps] How could somebody...
Bart: I know! [sobbing] [The rest of the family comes down to comfort him.]
Homer: [begins to cry] [sobbing]

Season 8 Season 9 Quotes Season 10
The City of New York vs. Homer SimpsonThe Principal and the PauperLisa's SaxTreehouse of Horror VIIIThe Cartridge FamilyBart StarThe Two Mrs. NahasapeemapetilonsLisa the SkepticRealty BitesMiracle on Evergreen TerraceAll Singing, All DancingBart CarnyThe Joy of SectDas BusThe Last Temptation of KrustDumbbell IndemnityLisa the SimpsonThis Little WiggySimpson TideThe Trouble with TrillionsGirly EditionTrash of the TitansKing of the HillLost Our LisaNatural Born Kissers
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