Mr. Rogers: It's a beautiful day...to kick your ass!
Homer: I can see the house is falling apart without me, so here's the new order. Bart, you're the man of the house. Lisa, I'm promoting you to boy. Maggie's now the brainy girl. The toaster can fill in for Maggie. And Marge, you're a consultant.
Homer: OH SAVE ME, JEBUS!!!!!!
Betty White: (during the PBS pledge drive) If you watch even one second of PBS and don’t contribute, you're a thief! A common thief!
PBS Man: Okay, take it easy, Betty.
Betty White: Sorry, but these thieves make me so damn mad. You know who you are! THIEVES!
Homer: (as he runs into the church) Sanctuary! Sanctuary!
Reverend Lovejoy: Oh, why did I ever teach him that word?
Rupert Murdoch: Hello! Murdoch here. $10,000! You've saved my network.