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Simpsons Wiki
Simpsons Wiki
General
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Quotes
Credits
"Midnight Rx"
"Mommie Beerest"
"Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass"
Homer: I don't wanna take care of the kids. How many cigars are they allowed to have? Bart sleeps in the microwave, right?
Marge: Quit playing dumb!

Moe Szyslak: My first credit card. Wow, the numbers are all bumpy-like!

Homer: Moe's, A Tribute: M is for Moe, the owner of Moe's. O is for the O in the middle of Moe's. E is for acceptance, the feeling I always got here at Moe's.

Health Inspector: Mr. Szyslak, your tavern is ripe with Health Code violations.
Moe: You gotta be kidding. Like what?
Health Inspector: For starters, the body of my predecessor is still on the floor.
Moe: Oh, yeah. Uh, well, ya see, trash day ain't 'til Wednesday, so...

Homer: What are you inferring?
Lisa: I'm not inferring anything. You infer; I imply.
Homer: Well, that's a relief.

Homer: He's only your emotional uncle. I'm your real uncle!

Marge: You're my Homie-womie-romie-domie...
Homer: And you're my Margie-wargie-bargie-fargie-gargie-margie-targie-largie...
Moe: I may have dodged a bullet here.

Marge: You showed me you could be a really sweet guy. You could make a woman very happy someday!
Moe: Wow. For realsies?
Marge: It's true. You'd be quite a catch. If you'd just shower and shave, and stop swearing under your breath.
Moe: Aww, thanks, Marge. [under his breath] Know-it-all bitch.