watch 01:50
The Loop (TV)
- Homer: Why you little --
- Bart: I'm not little. I'm 20, and I live at home.
- Homer: Why you disappointing --
- Bart: You know you're choking someone who can vote.
- Homer: But did you vote?
- Bart: No.
- Homer: Why you little --
- Homer: Stop drinking? That's like asking a golfer to stop drinking!
- Homer: Ned, I have to quit drinking. Now!
- Ned: All right, soberino, it's just 12 simple steps.
- Homer: Oh, 12?
- Ned: Fine. Nine.
- Homer: Oh!
- Ned: Okay, step one: admit you're powerless.
- Homer: I'm powerless. Boom! Done.
- Ned: Step two: admit there is a power greater than yourself.
- Homer: Um, if I'm powerless, isn't every power greater than myself?
- Ned: This is the 12 steps, not 20 questions. Now, make a decision to turn your life to God.
- Homer: [Scoffs] God. He's in every deal, like undercoating. Fine.
- Ned: Make a searching moral inventory of yourself.
- Homer: If I have one tiny flaw, it's that I have many enormous flaws.
- Ned: Admit the nature of your wrongs.
- Homer: Well, I'm not the best parallel parker.
- Ned: Are you ready for God to remove these defects?
- Homer: Dear Lord, the Satan of Heaven. I order you to fix me.
- Caitlyn Hi. I'm Caitlyn.
- Lisa [Gasps] My roommate. So, you play an instrument?
- Caitlyn Bari Sax.
- Lisa Are you good?
- Caitlyn I played at Kenny G's funeral.
- Lisa [thinking -Ooh, shes pretty impressive-] Uh... any childhood heartbreak?
- Caitlyn My parents forgot my birthday three times.
- Lisa [thinking: -She beats me at everything! I don't belong here-]
- Caitlyn While you were feeling inferior, I took the top bunk.
- Lisa [exasperated grunt]
- Lisa At least you're having a good time.
- Bart These girls want me to piss off their parents before they head home [moaning while kissing girl]
- Mandy's dad Get away from him Mandy! I'll pay! I'll pay!
- Bart Tell him I have two kids. The beauty part is, it's not a lie.
- Lisa You always know what to say, Bart.
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