Adam West: I suppose you’re only familiar with the new Batman movies. Michelle Pfeiffer? Ha! The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt. And I didn’t need molded plastic to improve my physique. Pure. West. And why doesn’t Batman dance anymore? Remember the Batusi? (starts dancing)
Homer: Heh. Nice meetin’ you... (tugging the kids back and whispering) Just keep moving, don’t make eye contact.
Homer: [sarcastically] If you're gonna get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things.
Homer: My prices are so low, you'll think I've suffered brain damage!
Homer: (at church) And now, to read from the Epistles of Saint Paul Homer Simpson. (clears throat) Dear Lord, in your infinite wisdom, you know the number to call when you need a plow is Klondike 5-3226.
Marge: Homer, this is really low.
Homer: Not as low as my low, low prices!
Mayor Quimby: The torch has been passed to a new generation of, uh snowplow people. Come on, give me the key. (he grabs the key from Homer) These look like teeth marks.
Homer: I thought there was chocolate inside! Well, why was it wrapped in foil?
Mayor Quimby: It was never wrapped in foil!
Bart: Dad, who's watching TV at 3:17 a.m.?
Homer: Alcoholics, the unemployable, angry loners.
Homer: It may be on a lousy channel, but the Simpsons are on TV!
Mayor Quimby: Mr. Plow, for making it possible for people to get where they're going without resorting to public transportation or carpooling, I give you the key to the city.
(Homer and Marge are about to go to bed.)
Marge: This might sound silly, but just for a change, would you mind
Homer: Cutting my nails? Brushing my teeth?
(Telephone rings and is answered by Homer.)
Homer: Mr. Plow, that name again is Mr. Plow.
Man: Hello, I'm calling from Delinquent Accounts at Kumatsu Motors.
Homer: Oh, you want the Mr. Plow who plows driveways. This is Tony Plow, you know, from Leave It To Beaver. [pause] Yeah, they were gay.
Homer: Our forecast calls for flurries of passion followed by extended periods of gettin' it on!