- “Samantha! Nooooo! Samantha, you my little girl and sometimes my imagination runs away with me Just tell me what happened That's enough! I'm putting you in an all-girl school! And you're never going to see that boy again!”
- ―Mr. Stankey
Mr. Stankey is Samantha Stankey's strict and overprotective father. He owned a home security company in Phoenix, Arizona before moving to Springfield because of its high crime rate and lackluster police force.
After Bart calls him on the phone with news concerning Samantha, Mr. Stankey who responds Bart's call shows up at the Simpson residence and immediately goes up Bart's treehouse. Shocked to see Milhouse and Samantha together, he lets out a prolonged "Noooooooooooooo!" that is powerful enough to make birds flee from the tree. Mr. Stankey then snatches her out of the tree and nervously asks her what happened. Before Samantha can even fully explain, he yells at her. As Mr. Stankey carries her off on his back, he tells her that she will be put in an all-girl school and that she will never see Milhouse again. After Milhouse and Samantha cry out for each other, Mr. Stankey puts her in the car, slams the door, and bitterly drives off, leaving Milhouse heartbroken.
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