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My Big Fat Geek Wedding |
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- (Groundskeeper Willie accidentally sucks in a kickball with his lawn mower, tearing it to shreds. He stops.)
- Willie: Oh mah God! I've shredded a child! Again! (starts the lawn mower again, careening onto the highway as he drives toward the border) Venezuela, here I come!
- Superintendent Chalmers: Skinner! You were asked to chug-a-lug, and a lug you shall chug!
- (Skinner chugs down his beer)
- Skinner: (with a slurred speech) Here's something I've wanted to say to you for a long time! (worried) Am I a good principal?
- Chalmers: You're the best we could get with the funds at our disposal. (the rest of the barflies cheer)
- Carl: Oh, marriage is gonna be great. Now you'll have someone to rub your back... without being asked.
- Lenny: Oh, not this again.
- Carl: Yes, this again!
- Milhouse: Mr. Groening, can you please autograph my Bender doll?
- Matt Groening: Sure. I'm happy to give anyone my autograph, anytime, anywhere. On the street, in a store, or on my private property. But why be happy with just an autograph? What about an original sketch or a snippet of my hair? And don't forget to pull my beard. They say it's good luck.
- (When Marge and Homer get remarried in the room)
- Homer: And now, Padre, if you would do the honors.
- Klingon Priest: (Unintelligible Kilngon speech)
- Marge: I do!
- Homer: Marge, you just agreed to raise the kids' Klingon!
- Marge: D'oh!
- Skinner: And while the school's only ball is being repaired, the following alternative sports will be offered: Dodgerock, Volleybrick, and Basegame.
- Milhouse: I want to play Dodgerock!
- [Nelson throws a rock at Milhouse, knocking him out]
- Nelson: You're out!
- Skinner: Please don't tell anyone.
- Homer: Don't worry, your secret's safe with me.
- Homer: Marge, guess what! Skinner wants to bail on his wedding!
- Skinner: Homer, you're still talking to me.
- Homer: Oh man, is this awkward. I'm outta here.
- [Homer drinks a mug of beer and passes out]
- Homer: Oh, why did I take my wedding ring off, oh right, to see if I could skip it across Lake Michigan.