Wiki Targeted (Entertainment)
One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish
Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
: No way! Because I'm not dying! Homer
Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.
: Why, you little... Homer
Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
: Homer [cringing] What's after fear? What's after fear?
Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while! Homer
Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.
: Well, we all gotta go sometime. Homer
Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me. If you have any more questions, feel free to look at this brochure.
Dr. Hibbert hands Homer a brochure and departs office. The brochure shows the gates of Heaven opening. : (reads title) So You are Going to Die... (he looks at Marge) Homer
[Homer makes a videotape.]
: This is a videotape for my daughter, Maggie. Hi, Maggie! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave. Homer [making ghost noises] Woooo! Heh, heh, heh. Hope that didn't scare you. [now serious] Anyway, you're all grown up now. And unless you taped over this, you probably wanted to know what type of man your father was. He was a simple man, a kind man, who loved his children and...
[The phone rings, interrupting Homer.]
: Homer D'oh!
[No one is home, so Homer answers the phone. As he does so, his rear end is visible to the camera and Homer is seen scratching it.] : Hello! Yes, who is this? Bart's friend Milhouse? Homer [shouting] BART! Get your butt down here!
[Homer is in jail, after being pulled over for speeding and then getting into an argument with the cops.]
: Homer [talking to himself] Oh no, I can't call Marge, it would upset her even more on her last day with me! Oh, I know, I'll call Barney!
[Homer dials the Gumble residence, but gets an answering machine that sings "Nobody's Home" to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth.]
: Homer D'oh! Stupid novelty answering machine! [Leaving message] Thanks, Barney! I waste my one phone call from jail getting your dumb answering machine!
Barney: [in his apartment] It's Homer! [picks up phone] Don't hang up! Hey, Homer, are you in jail? Hey, look out the window!
[Homer peers out the window of his cell to see Barney right next door to the jail. Barney waves.]
Barney: Hiya, neighbor! I can see you! Why are you in jail?
: No time to explain! Just come over and pay the fifty dollars to bail me out! Homer Barney: FIFTY BUCKS?! Whadja do, kill a judge?
: I'm sorry, officer. I know I was going too fast. Just give me a ticket. Homer
: I beg your pardon? Eddie
Homer: Just give me a ticket!
: Oh. Well, that sounded like an order. Lou
Homer: I paid my taxes and they pay your salary! So when I say "give me a ticket," just give me a ticket!
Eddie: Uh-huh. Maybe we don't wanna give you a ticket.
Lou: Maybe we wanna haul butt in, wise guy.
[Suddenly, they pushed Homer in prison.]
Eddie: Hey, look what else your tax dollars pay for, huh? [Cell door shuts as Eddie and Lou laugh.]
[Barney gives Homer a ride home and Homer grumbles about not having time to do all the things on his list. Then he sees Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers girl-watching.]
: Hey, my boss! Homer
Mr. Burns: [looking through binoculars] Smithers, Check out the luscious pair on that redhead. [The view through the binoculars reveals that he's staring at her red stiletto shoes.] That's it, baby, work those ankles.
Smithers: Ring-a-ding-ding, sir.
: Homer [shouting] Hey, Burns! Eat my shorts!
[Barney drives away at high speed]
Mr. Burns: Who the Sam Hill was that?!
Smithers: Why, it's Homer Simpson, sir, One of the schmoes from Sector 7-G. Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? I want him in my office at 9:00 Monday morning. We'll see who eats whose shorts.
Marge awakens and is shocked to see Homer is not next to her.
Marge: Homer? Homer!
Marge puts on bathrobe and goes downstairs. She sees a motionless Homer slumped in the armchair and thinks Homer has died.
Marge: Oh, Homer.
Marge sits in front of Homer, and touches his drool.
Marge: His drool--it's warm.
Marge gasps and starts to shake Homer awake.
Marge: He's alive!
Marge: Homer! Homer, wake up! You're alive.
: Marge, stop it. Cut it out. Homer
Marge: Wake up, you're alive! You're alive! You're alive!
Homer: What are you talking about?
Marge: You're alive!
: I'm alive, and I couldn't be happier! From this day forward, I vow to live life to its fullest. Homer As credits crawl, Homer is shown sitting on the couch watching bowling tournaments while eating a bag of Pork Rinds Lite.
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