Changes: One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish/Quotes

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◄	Bart Gets Hit by a Car

One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

The Way We Was

►

Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.

Homer: No way! Because I'm not dying!

Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.

Homer: Why, you little...

Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.

Homer: [cringing] What's after fear? What's after fear?

Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.

Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while!

Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.

Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.

Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me. If you have any more questions, feel free to look at this brochure.

Dr. Hibbert hands Homer a brochure and departs office. The brochure shows the gates of Heaven opening.

Homer: (reads title) So You are Going to Die... (he looks at Marge)

[Homer makes a videotape.]

Homer: This is a videotape for my daughter, Maggie. Hi, Maggie! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave. [making ghost noises] Woooo! Heh, heh, heh. Hope that didn't scare you. [now serious] Anyway, you're all grown up now. And unless you taped over this, you probably wanted to know what type of man your father was. He was a simple man, a kind man, who loved his children and...

[The phone rings, interrupting Homer.]

Homer: D'oh!

[No one is home, so Homer answers the phone. As he does so, his rear end is visible to the camera and Homer is seen scratching it.]

Homer: Hello! Yes, who is this? Bart's friend Milhouse? [shouting] BART! Get your butt down here!

[Homer is in jail, after being pulled over for speeding and then getting into an argument with the cops.]

Homer: [talking to himself] Oh no, I can't call Marge, it would upset her even more on her last day with me! Oh, I know, I'll call Barney!

[Homer dials the Gumble residence, but gets an answering machine that sings "Nobody's Home" to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth.]

Homer: D'oh! Stupid novelty answering machine! [Leaving message] Thanks, Barney! I waste my one phone call from jail getting your dumb answering machine!

Barney: [in his apartment] It's Homer! [picks up phone] Don't hang up! Hey, Homer, are you in jail? Hey, look out the window!

[Homer peers out the window of his cell to see Barney right next door to the jail. Barney waves.]

Barney: Hiya, neighbor! I can see you! Why are you in jail?

Homer: No time to explain! Just come over and pay the fifty dollars to bail me out!

Barney: FIFTY BUCKS?! Whadja do, kill a judge?

[Barney gives Homer a ride home and Homer grumbles about not having time to do all the things on his list. Then he sees Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers girl-watching.]

Homer: Hey, my boss!

Mr. Burns: [looking through binoculars] Smithers, Check out the luscious pair on that redhead. [The view through the binoculars reveals that he's staring at her red stiletto shoes.] That's it, baby, work those ankles.

Smithers: Ring-a-ding-ding, sir.

Homer: [shouting] Hey, Burns! Eat my shorts!

[Barney drives away at high speed]

Mr. Burns: Who the Sam Hill was that?!

Smithers: Why, it's Homer Simpson, sir, One of the schmoes from Sector 7-G.

Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? I want him in my office at 9:00 Monday morning. We'll see who eats whose shorts.

Marge awakens and is shocked to see Homer is not next to her.

Marge: Homer? Homer!

Marge puts on bathrobe and goes downstairs. She sees a motionless Homer slumped in the armchair and thinks Homer has died.

Marge: Oh, Homer.

Marge sits in front of Homer, and touches his drool.

Marge: His drool--it's warm.

Marge gasps and starts to shake Homer awake.

Marge: He's alive!

Marge: Homer! Homer, wake up! You're alive.

Homer: Marge, stop it. Cut it out.

Marge: Wake up, you're alive! You're alive! You're alive!

Homer: What are you talking about?

Marge: You're alive!

Homer: I'm alive, and I couldn't be happier! From this day forward, I vow to live life to its fullest.

As credits crawl, Homer is shown sitting on the couch watching bowling tournaments while eating a bag of Pork Rinds Lite.

◄ Season 1	Season 2 Quotes	Season 3 ►
Bart Gets an "F" • Simpson and Delilah • Treehouse of Horror (aka "The Simpsons Halloween Special") • Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish • Dancin' Homer • Dead Putting Society • Bart vs. Thanksgiving • Bart the Daredevil • Itchy & Scratchy & Marge • Bart Gets Hit by a Car • One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish • The Way We Was • Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment • Principal Charming • Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? • Bart's Dog Gets an F • Old Money • Brush with Greatness • Lisa's Substitute • The War of the Simpsons • Three Men and a Comic Book • Blood Feud

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{Tab|Quo}}
-{{Spacer}}
 {{PrevNext|Quo|Bart Gets Hit by a Car|The Way We Was}}
-{{Spacer}}
-:'''Dr. Hibbert:''' "Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial."
+:'''Dr. Hibbert''': Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
-:'''Homer:''' "No way! Because I'm not dying!"
+:'''[[Homer]]''': No way! Because I'm not dying!
-:'''Dr. Hibbert:''' "The second is anger."
+:'''Dr. Hibbert''': The second is anger.
-:'''Homer:''' "Why, you little..."
+:'''[[Homer]]''': Why, you little...
-:'''Dr. Hibbert:''' "After that comes fear."
+:'''Dr. Hibbert''': After that comes fear.
-:'''Homer:''' ''[cringing] ''"What's after fear? What's after fear?"
+:'''[[Homer]]''': ''[cringing]'' What's after fear? What's after fear?
-:'''Dr. Hibbert:''' "Bargaining."
+:'''Dr. Hibbert''': Bargaining.
-:'''Homer:''' "Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while!"
+:'''[[Homer]]''': Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while!
-:'''Dr. Hibbert:''' "Finally, acceptance."
+:'''Dr. Hibbert''': Finally, acceptance.
-:'''Homer:''' "Well, we all gotta go sometime."
+:'''[[Homer]]''': Well, we all gotta go sometime.
-:'''Dr. Hibbert:''' Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me. If you have any more questions, feel free to look at this brouchure.
+:'''Dr. Hibbert''': Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me. If you have any more questions, feel free to look at this brochure.
-:''Dr. Hibbert hands Homer a brouchure and departs office. The brouchure shows the gates of Heaven opening.''
+:''Dr. Hibbert hands Homer a brochure and departs office. The brochure shows the gates of Heaven opening.''
-:'''Brochure''': So You are Going to Die.
+:'''[[Homer]]''': (reads title) So You are Going to Die... (he looks at Marge)
-:
 ----
 :''[Homer makes a videotape.]''
-:'''Homer''': This is a videotape for my daughter, Maggie. Hi, Maggie! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave. ''[making ghost noises]'' Woooo! Heh, heh, heh. Hope that didn't scare you. ''[now serious]'' Anyway, you're all grown up now. And unless you taped over this, you probably wanted to know what type of man your father was. He was a simple man, a kind man, who loved his children and...
+:'''[[Homer]]''': This is a videotape for my daughter, Maggie. Hi, Maggie! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave. ''[making ghost noises]'' Woooo! Heh, heh, heh. Hope that didn't scare you. ''[now serious]'' Anyway, you're all grown up now. And unless you taped over this, you probably wanted to know what type of man your father was. He was a simple man, a kind man, who loved his children and...
 :''[The phone rings, interrupting Homer.]''
-:'''Homer''': D'oh!
+:'''[[Homer]]''': [[D'oh!]]
-:''[No one is home, so Homer answers the phone. As he does so, his rear end is visible to the camera and Homer is seen scratching it.]''
+:''[No one is home, so [[Homer]] answers the phone. As he does so, his rear end is visible to the camera and [[Homer]] is seen scratching it.]''
-:'''Homer''': Hello! Yes, who is this? Bart's friend Milhouse? ''[shouting]'' BART! Get your butt down here!
+:'''[[Homer]]''': Hello! Yes, who is this? Bart's friend Milhouse? ''[shouting]'' BART! Get your butt down here!
 ----
 :''[Homer is in jail, after being pulled over for speeding and then getting into an argument with the cops.]''
-:'''Homer''': ''[talking to himself]'' Oh no, I can't call Marge, it would upset her even more on her last day with me! Oh, I know, Barney!
+:'''[[Homer]]''': ''[talking to himself]'' Oh no, I can't call Marge, it would upset her even more on her last day with me! Oh, I know, I'll call Barney!
 :''[Homer dials the Gumble residence, but gets an answering machine that sings "Nobody's Home" to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth.]''
-:'''Homer''': D'oh! Stupid novelty answering machine! ''[Leaving message]'' Thanks, Barney! I waste my one phone call from jail getting your dumb answering machine!
+:'''[[Homer]]''': [[D'oh!]] Stupid novelty answering machine! ''[Leaving message]'' Thanks, Barney! I waste my one phone call from jail getting your dumb answering machine!
-:'''Barney''': ''[in his apartment]'' It's Homer! ''[picks up phone]'' Don't hang up! Hey, Homer, are you in jail? Hey, look out the window!
+:'''Barney''': ''[in his apartment]'' It's [[Homer]]! ''[picks up phone]'' Don't hang up! Hey, Homer, are you in jail? Hey, look out the window!
 :''[Homer peers out the window of his cell to see Barney right next door to the jail. Barney waves.]''
 :'''Barney''': Hiya, neighbor! I can see you! Why are you in jail?
-:'''Homer''': No time to explain! Just come over and pay the fifty dollars to bail me out!
+:'''[[Homer]]''': No time to explain! Just come over and pay the fifty dollars to bail me out!
 :'''Barney''': FIFTY BUCKS?! Whadja do, kill a judge?
 ----
-:''[Barney gives Homer a ride home and Homer grumbles about not having time to do all the things on his list. Then he sees Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers girlwatching.]''
+:''[Barney gives [[Homer]] a ride home and [[Homer]] grumbles about not having time to do all the things on his list. Then he sees Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers girl-watching.]''
-:'''Homer''': Wait! I can still do one part of my list! Tell off boss! Barney, slow down!
+:'''[[Homer]]''': Hey, my boss!
-:'''Mr. Burns''': ''[looking through binoculars]'' Check out the lucious pair on that redhead. ''[The view through the binoculars reveals that he's staring at her shoes.]'' That's it, baby, work those ankles!
+:'''Mr. Burns''': ''[looking through binoculars] ''Smithers, Check out the luscious pair on that redhead. ''[The view through the binoculars reveals that he's staring at her red stiletto shoes.]'' That's it, baby, work those ankles.
 :'''Smithers''': Ring-a-ding-ding, sir.
-:'''Homer''': ''[shouting]'' Hey, Burns! EAT!! MY!! SHORTS!!
+:'''[[Homer]]''': ''[shouting]'' Hey, Burns! Eat my shorts!
-:''[Barney drives away at high speed while he and Homer laugh.]''
+:''[Barney drives away at high speed]''
-:'''Mr. Burns''': What the Sam Hill was that?!
+:'''Mr. Burns''': Who the Sam Hill was that?!
-:'''Smithers''': Why, it's Homer Simpson, sir, One of the schmos from Sector 7-G.
+:'''Smithers''': Why, it's Homer Simpson, sir, One of the schmoes from Sector 7-G.
-:'''Mr. Burns''': Simpson, eh? Well, first thing Monday morning call this Simpson to my office. We will see who eats whose pantaloons!
+:'''Mr. Burns''': Simpson, eh? I want him in my office at 9:00 Monday morning. We'll see who eats whose shorts.
-:''Last lines of episode. Marge awakens and is shocked to see Homer is not next to her.''
-:'''Marge''': Homer? Homer!
-:''Marge puts on bathrobe and goes downstairs. She sees a motionless Homer slumped in the armchair and thinks Homer has died.''
-:'''Marge''': Oh, Homer.
-:''Marge gives Homer one last hug, then she is surprised by what she discovers.''
-:'''Marge''': Drool? It is warm?
-:''Marge feels hot air coming out of Homer's nose and realizes he only fell asleep.''
-:'''Marge''': Homer! Wake up!
-:'''Homer''': Huh? What? Leave me alone Marge, I am dead!
-:'''Marge''': No, Homer! Look at this, you are alive! You're alive!
-:'''Homer''': I am alive! Woo hoo! This is great Marge! From now on, I vow to live life to the fullest.
-:''As credits crawl, Homer is shown sitting on the couch watching bowling tournaments while eating a bag of Pork Rinds Lite.''
-:
 ----
+:''Marge awakens and is shocked to see [[Homer]] is not next to her.''
+:'''Marge''': [[Homer]]? [[Homer]]!
+:''Marge puts on bathrobe and goes downstairs. She sees a motionless [[Homer]] slumped in the armchair and thinks [[Homer]] has died.''
+:'''Marge''': Oh, [[Homer]].
+:''Marge sits in front of Homer, and touches his drool.''
+:'''Marge''': His drool--it's warm.
+:''Marge gasps and starts to shake Homer awake.''
+:'''Marge''': He's alive!
+:'''Marge''': [[Homer]]! Homer, wake up! You're alive.
+:'''[[Homer]]''': Marge, stop it. Cut it out.
+:'''Marge''': Wake up,  you're alive! You're alive! You're alive!
+:'''Homer''': What are you talking about?
+:'''Marge''': You're alive!
+:'''[[Homer]]''': I'm alive, and I couldn't be happier! From this day forward, I vow to live life to its fullest.
+:''As credits crawl, [[Homer]] is shown sitting on the couch watching bowling tournaments while eating a bag of Pork Rinds Lite.''
 {{Season|2|Quo}}