Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me. If you have any more questions, feel free to look at this brochure.
Dr. Hibbert hands Homer a brochure and departs office. The brochure shows the gates of Heaven opening.
Homer: (reads title) So You are Going to Die... (he looks at Marge)
[Homer makes a videotape.]
Homer: This is a videotape for my daughter, Maggie. Hi, Maggie! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave. [making ghost noises] Woooo! Heh, heh, heh. Hope that didn't scare you. [now serious] Anyway, you're all grown up now. And unless you taped over this, you probably wanted to know what type of man your father was. He was a simple man, a kind man, who loved his children and...
[No one is home, so Homer answers the phone. As he does so, his rear end is visible to the camera and Homer is seen scratching it.]
Homer: Hello! Yes, who is this? Bart's friend Milhouse? [shouting] BART! Get your butt down here!
[Homer is in jail, after being pulled over for speeding and then getting into an argument with the cops.]
Homer: [talking to himself] Oh no, I can't call Marge, it would upset her even more on her last day with me! Oh, I know, I'll call Barney!
[Homer dials the Gumble residence, but gets an answering machine that sings "Nobody's Home" to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth.]
Homer: D'oh! Stupid novelty answering machine! [Leaving message] Thanks, Barney! I waste my one phone call from jail getting your dumb answering machine!
Barney: [in his apartment] It's Homer! [picks up phone] Don't hang up! Hey, Homer, are you in jail? Hey, look out the window!
[Homer peers out the window of his cell to see Barney right next door to the jail. Barney waves.]
Barney: Hiya, neighbor! I can see you! Why are you in jail?
Homer: No time to explain! Just come over and pay the fifty dollars to bail me out!
Barney: FIFTY BUCKS?! Whadja do, kill a judge?
[Barney gives Homer a ride home and Homer grumbles about not having time to do all the things on his list. Then he sees Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers girl-watching.]
Mr. Burns: [looking through binoculars] Smithers, Check out the luscious pair on that redhead. [The view through the binoculars reveals that he's staring at her red stiletto shoes.] That's it, baby, work those ankles.
