Holidays of Future Passed
Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson
The D'oh-cial Network
Homer: You can check my carry-on, but you can't check my spirit! And why is there moisture between the windows?! And don't wake me up to land! Just land!

Homer: [heavily disguised] A six-pack of Duff, please?
Apu: Oh yes, Mr. Homer.
Homer: Awwww, what gave me away?
Apu: Well, the hotdogs spin counter-clockwise in fear whenever you are near, sir.

Nash Kastor: Yes, your video has been mashed up, Autotuned, Jimmy Falloned, Philippine Prisonered and occasionally even watched! Ha!

Homer: If we lose football, we lose the blitz, cheerleaders, Rudys, Ochocincos, something for fat kids to play. [starts crying] Ochocincos! [sobbing loudly]

Carl: Is it a little weird how much he cries?
Lenny: No way! When a guy who loves America cries it makes him super-straight.

Homer: Aw, Marge, don't worry. People know I'm doing a character, like Stephen Colbert or Newt Gingrich.

Homer: Now Lisa, I'm an entertainer. And you can't entertain and inform at the same time. And if you're Access Hollywood, you do neither. [chuckles]

Mr. Burns: Now they're all excellent choices, so simply pick the white male candidate you prefer and we'll elect him.
Homer: I dunno, can't we get Chris Christie to run?
Mr. Burns: I don't think so.
[Meanwhile, Chris Christie is gorging himself on a large amount of food. He starts choking on the turkey he was eating.]
Chris Christie: Save me, Obamacare!

Homer: Ted Nugent! I made love on my honeymoon to your sweet music. YOU'RE MY MAN!

Lisa: You're endorsing Ted Nugent? He's a right-wing rock star who likes everything I hate!
Bart: Could there be anyone awesomer?
Ted Nugent: [entering with a gravy boat on his head and a freshly-killed elk] Who's hungry for elk?
Lisa: [screams and runs away from the dinner table]
Marge: My daughter's a vegetarian.
Ted Nugent: That's alright, she can munch on an antler. Antlers ain't meat.

Homer: [screams] Mozart!
James Madison: I am James Madison, Sir.
Homer: [screams]
James Madison: Fourth President of these United States.

Homer: My fellow Americans, I am full of crap.
Lisa: I knew you were, Dad. [hugs Homer] I always knew!

Season 22 Season 23 Quotes Season 24
The Falcon and the D'ohmanBart Stops to Smell the RooseveltsTreehouse of Horror XXIIReplaceable YouThe Food WifeThe Book JobThe Man in the Blue Flannel PantsThe Ten-Per-Cent SolutionHolidays of Future PassedPolitically Inept, with Homer SimpsonThe D'oh-cial NetworkMoe Goes from Rags to RichesThe Daughter Also RisesAt Long Last LeaveExit Through the Kwik-E-MartHow I Wet Your MotherThem, RobotBeware My Cheating BartA Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do AgainThe Spy Who Learned MeNed 'N Edna's BlendLisa Goes Gaga
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