Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass
Pranksta Rap
There's Something About Marrying
Marge: Rap music belongs in the rubbish bin, it promotes violence and rudeness to hoes.
Bart: Step off, Mom. Rap is the poetry of the street. 
Marge: Well you are not going to any concert that propagates street talk.

Lisa: Just what we need. Another lame suburban kid who loves rap.
Bart: So? You like the Blues.
Lisa: Yes, but the Blues are unpopular.

Bart: I lied about being kidnapped. The whole thing was a hoax.
Wiggum: A hoax? A hoax? Aw, please, you can't takes this away from me! How would I explain it to Ralphie?

Bart: Well, I paid for this ticket. That makes me an adult. I'm going! (Bart leaves for a second, then comes back, hugging his Krusty doll.) I love you Krusty, Wusty! (Bart kisses the doll and takes off)

50 Cent: Yo! B, I heard you throw down on stage, wanna join my world tour?
Bart: Sorry, fiddy, I have school tomorrow.
50 Cent: You're right. The more you know, the further you go, and that's one to grow on. (turns to his assistant) Does that count as community service?
Assistant: No.
50 Cent: Aight, take 'em to the park. We'll go pick up some dog poop.
Assistant: Yes, sir!

Milhouse: Are you mad at me?
Bart: No, it's not about you.
Milhouse: (disappointed) Oh, it's never about me!

Bart: Man, are you illin.
Lisa: Rappers stopped saying "illin" twelve years ago.
Bart: I'm keepin' it real!
Lisa: They stopped saying "keepin' it real" three years ago.
Bart: Mom! Lisa's dissin' me!
Marge: "Dissin'"? Do rappers still say that?

Chief Wiggum: (reads headlines to self) "Wiggum Sleeps Through Riot", "Top Cop Surrenders to Backfiring Car", "Firemen Rescue Police Chief from Tree", "Commission: Wiggum Sucks" Wow I should have read these headlines a long time ago. Together they really paint a picture... a failure. And now, my only friend is the bottle (pulls out bottle of maple syrup and pancakes)
Barney Fife: (in hallucination) Rise and shine, Chief Wiggum. This pity party is over.
Wiggum: Wha? Officer down! (sees Fife on the TV) Barney Fife?
Fife: Y-E-S spells "you got it, buster!" and I wanna tell you that the feelings you have are common for every (sniff) brother of the badge.
Wiggum: Yeah, well my fat grew over my badge.
Fife: Oh, sour mash. You just gotta pull together and get the old (sniff) crime-sniffer out on the street.
Wiggum: You're right! It's time I buckle down and really do some police work!
Fife: Now that's the can-do attitude that puts dudes in the can! Ha, ha, ha. Well, I'm wanted back on the set.
Wiggum: Set? Are you the character or the actor who plays him?
Fife: (ghost-like voice) Now, I must goooooo!
Wiggum: What a minute. Now you're a ghost?
Fife: Avenge meeee!

Alcatraaaz: (throws Bart a Murder 4 Life jersey) Here ya go, ya little yellow cracka. (to Hummer Limo driver) Now, let's go murder our enemies. (to Bart) Peace.

Homer: Bart's gone! I checked everywhere.
Marge: That little sneak disobeyed us and went to that hip hop festival!
Homer: If that's true he's gonna be like N.W.A: Not Without Ass-Welts!

Kirk: Oh baby, what could be better than video poker and Chintsy-Pop? (takes a handful of popcorn) Wow! I'm lookin' at an inside straight! (presses a button, which replaces the ace with a five. The word "LOSER" appears with the losing music) Someday I'll hear the winning music. Someday.
(Chief and other cops burst to the door)
Wiggum: Drop the corn, tightey-whitey!
Kirk: (shouts) What? I didn't do anything!

Alcatraaz: Yo, cuz, drop down my mic unless you know how to use it. This is old school, not preschool, so don't Dr. Seuss it.

Bart: (raps)
Don't critique my technique, I'm no geek.
I make the principal nervous, my friends can confirm this,
I'll bust a spitwad in your epidermis.
You can trace my remorse to its supersized source. A hungry, hungry hypocrite named Homer of course,
My old man's pathetic, damn, is his head thick,
the gas from his ass is carcinogenic, every day I pray his DNA ain't genetic.

Season 15 Season 16 Quotes Season 17
Treehouse of Horror XVAll's Fair in Oven WarSleeping with the EnemyShe Used to Be My GirlFat Man and Little BoyMidnight RxMommie BeerestHomer and Ned's Hail Mary PassPranksta RapThere's Something About MarryingOn a Clear Day I Can't See My SisterGoo Goo Gai PanMobile HomerThe Seven-Beer SnitchFuture-DramaDon't Fear the RooferThe Heartbroke KidA Star is TornThank God It's DoomsdayHome Away from HomerThe Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.