Patty: I'm about to say something I never thought I'd say to you... Something nice.
Patty: I only mock you because I'm jealous of what Marge has on you. I only have Selma, and now I don't even have that.
Homer: Oh, Patty, I waited so long for you to open a window of niceness
Patty: No, that was it, window shut.
Groundskeeper Willie: Eh, what's the penalty for... driving a tractor drunk through a... renaissance fair?
Patty: Can't help you! I might be having a stroke! I have to consult a competent medical professional! (Types on a medicine website "Have I had a stroke?") Hmm... Got that, got that... m-Hmm... Who doesn't have that? (groans) is Anyone here to get an ambulance license?
Comic Book Guy: That'll be me!
Patty: Here you go! (gives him a license)
Comic Book Guy: I lied! (runs away)
Marge: Now, put your good clothes on.
Lisa: I'm already in a dress and pearls, and I'm eight years old.
Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Patty, Selma, Ling and Grandpa: (singing "Happy Birthday" to Jacqueline) Happy birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear...
Marge, Selma and Patty: ...Mom!
Bart, Lisa and Ling: Grandma!
Homer: ...All the above!
Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Patty, Selma, Ling and Grandpa: Happy birthday to you!
Bart: Hey Lis, do you think I can climb walls like Spider-Man with denture cream on my hands? (puts some cream on his hands and climbs a wall, but fails and knocks his head on the floor)
Lisa: Nope. Next time you should wait for my answer.
Homer: Knock it off, your grandmother's bathroom is not a toy chest! (looks inside the bathroom closet) Ooh, Vicodin.
Homer: (Enters the bathroom thinking Marge is taking a bath) Hey baby, how about that rain check from last night? (Enters the shower and sees Patty taking a bath)
Patty: Don't look at me!
Homer: But you're everywhere!! (runs out of the shower and pours some bleach onto his eyes)
Patty: Freak! Don't you ever knock? Get out of here, go away!
Homer: (sighs in relief) Thank God I'm blind.
Cletus: Hey, Brandine! I caught us a possum! You want to name it before we eat it or after?