Bart: [on radio] People of Earth, this is Bartron, commander of the Martian invasion force. Your planet is in our hands. Resistance is useless. We have captured your President. He was delicious!
[Homer screams, runs out of the kitchen, and fetches a shotgun.]
[Bart and his microphone strike again. This time the victims are Rod and Todd Flanders.]
Krusty: I called my good friend Sting. He said, "Krusty, when do you need me?" I said, "Thursday." He said, "I'm busy Thursday." I said, "What about Friday?" He said, "Friday's worse than Thursday." Then he said, "How about Saturday?" I said, "Fine." True story!
Homer: What I can stand, I can stand no more! I'm gonna get you out of there myself!
[As Homer starts digging, Groundskeeper Willie sees what he's doing]
Willie: Now why didn't I think of that?! [retrieves his own shovel from his shack] Agnes... we've got work to do! [rips his shirt and the top of his overalls off]
[Led by Homer, a group of townspeople work to dig Bart out of the well after the city of Springfield refuses to help.]
Falcon Man: Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety! Just watch. [The falcon is released and flies away.] I don't think he's coming back.
Chief Wiggum: I'm afraid we've got a budget problem, Marge. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. If he had done it at the beginning of the fiscal year, no problemo.
Homer: Well, he fell down the well and ... can't get out.
Lisa: How does that make him a hero?
Homer: Well, it's more than you did!
Bart: [at the barber shop, getting a shave] Digital audio tape, my butt! When I was a kid, we had compact discs, and I don't recall no one complaining.
Barber: Damn right.
Homer: Don't worry, son. Just 'cuz you're trapped in a hole doesn't mean you can't live a rich and full life.
