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Lisa the Skeptic
Realty Bites
Miracle on Evergreen Terrace
Homer: (while lounging on the couch) Ah, I love these lazy Saturdays.
Marge: It's Wednesday, Homer.
Homer: (screams) Work!

Homer: Ahhh, I love these real Saturdays, they're so relaxing, not like that fake Saturday that almost got me fired.

Marge: Lionel Hutz? I didn't know you sold real estate.
Lionel Hutz: You didn't? We should talk more often, Marge. You see, the law business is a little slow, and since most of my clients wind up losing their houses this was a natural move for me.
Marge: Selling people houses... That must be really rewarding.
Lionel Hutz: Yes, the money is good. But the beauty is, you get to stay in the house until it's sold!

Ned Flanders: (screams) Purple drapes. All my life I've wanted purple drapes! (screams)

Moe: (eyeing Homer's new car) Gee, that hot rod is souped-up six ways from Sunday! Never had you figured for a gear-head, Homer.
Homer: Oh, yeah. I'm a real expert.
Moe: (lifts the hood) What is that, a six-barrel Holley carb?
Homer: You betcha.
Moe: Edelbrock intakes?
Homer: Nothing but.
Moe: Meyerhof lifters?
Homer: Oh, yeah.
Moe: I made that last one up.
Homer: I see.

Marge: (while at the unemployment office) $300 for doing nothing? It feel like such a crook.
George Bush Sr.: Don't worry. It gets easier every week.

Marge: What in the heck is a dwelling?

Cookie Kwan: Hi, Marge! Stay off the west side!

Marge: A headset telephone? I thought those only existed in the movies!

Lisa: (while riding in Homer's car) Dad, doesn't this car have seatbelts?
Homer: Seatbelts, pff! They kill more people than they save!
Lisa: That's not true, you're thinking of airbags!

Homer: (to Principal Skinner) Hey Skinner, wanna drag race? [revs his car engine]
Principal Skinner: My high school sweetheart was killed in a high school drag racing accident.
Homer: Come on, it'll be fun!
Principal Skinner: That's what Debbie Sue said.

Marge: Selling real estate could be just what I'm looking for. I'd really like to give it a try.
Homer: I don't know, Marge. Trying is the first step towards failure.

Marge: I thought I'd do anything to succeed in business, but bending the truth? I don't know.

Snake: (about his car Lil' Bandit) Hey, that smells like regular. She needs premium, dude! PREMIUM! DUUUUUDE!!

Kirk: I told that idiot to slice my sandwich! (wire cuts half of his arm off) Ow.

Season 8 Season 9 Quotes Season 10
The City of New York vs. Homer SimpsonThe Principal and the PauperLisa's SaxTreehouse of Horror VIIIThe Cartridge FamilyBart StarThe Two Mrs. NahasapeemapetilonsLisa the SkepticRealty BitesMiracle on Evergreen TerraceAll Singing, All DancingBart CarnyThe Joy of SectDas BusThe Last Temptation of KrustDumbbell IndemnityLisa the SimpsonThis Little WiggySimpson TideThe Trouble with TrillionsGirly EditionTrash of the TitansKing of the HillLost Our LisaNatural Born Kissers