The transcript of Scary Stories.
Part #1: Lights[]
[The Simpson family children stand together in the living room.]
- BART: Wanna see a scary story?
[Bart turns off the lights and begins pacing dramatically around the room.]
- BART: Once upon a time, there was an evil insane maniac...
- LISA: Bart! Why can't you tell the story with the lights on?!
- BART: Okay, you little babies.
[Bart reaches for the light switch but misses, fumbling against the wall.]
- BART: [afraid] I can't find the light switch!
[He starts frantically patting the walls.]
- BART: It's gone!
[Bart runs around the room in a panic until Lisa calmly walks over and turns the lights back on. Bart freezes in disbelief.]
Part #2: Psycho Strangler[]
[The scene begins the same way as before: the Simpson children stand together in the living room.]
- BART: Everybody comfy?
[Bart turns off the lights and starts pacing again.]
- BART: Once upon a time, there was a psychopathic strangler on the loose in a dark house. They couldn't see him, but they could hear his breathing.
[He breathes loudly for effect but then starts choking mid-performance.]
- LISA: [screaming]
[Lisa rushes to turn the lights back on, revealing Maggie gleefully choking Bart.]
Part #3: Crafty Vampire[]
[As before, the Simpson children stand in their usual positions in the living room.]
- BART: It was dark...
[Bart switches off the lights and begins pacing again.]
- BART: All was silent... and then they heard it. The sound of the crafty vampire sucking blood from the neck of his latest victim... Listen.
[Maggie loudly sucks her pacifier.]
- BART AND LISA: [scared gasp]
[Maggie, unfazed, turns the lights back on, revealing Bart and Lisa clinging to each other in fear, trembling.]
Part #4: Three Little Children[]
[Once more, the Simpson children stand together in the same positions as the previous scenes.]
- BART: And now, for the scariest story of all.
[Bart turns off the lights and resumes his dramatic pacing.]
- BART: Once upon a time, three little children sat shivering in the dark...
[Maggie and Lisa begin to shiver nervously.]
- BART: Suddenly, they heard footsteps. Listen; you can almost hear them coming closer, and closer.
[Heavy footsteps echo ominously.]
- BART: And then, the footsteps stopped.
[The footsteps halt, followed by the sound of a lock clicking open.]
- CHILDREN: [screaming]
[The lights switch on to reveal Homer and Marge Simpson entering the room. The children scream and huddle behind the couch. Homer and Marge look at each other confused.]