Sleeping with the Enemy
She Used to Be My Girl
Fat Man and Little Boy
[While Marge and Chloe are fighting]
Homer: Ladies, there's no need to fight over me.
Marge: No one's fighting over you!
Homer: Oh... carry on.

Homer: The only reason we don't move out of this dung hill is because of my court-ordered ankle bracelet. (his ankle bracelet beeps) I'm here, quit bugging me!
Marge: Why do you always have to show that to company?
Homer: It's a conversation-starter.

Bart: Thinking is for losers!

Marge: Evergreen Terrace, the street that smells like pee.

Homer: Woo hoo! The circus!
Lisa: The media circus.
Homer: Woo hoo! I don't know the difference!

Kent Brockman: This just in: I'm pissed off!

Chloe: So, Marge, what's exciting in your life lately?
Marge: Well, uh... Oh, we finally found out why the dog was scooting around on his butt all day. Turns out he had an impacted anal gland.

Homer: I am sofa king fat!

Bart: Mom, I want to be just like you. I mean the lava part, not saving Lisa.
Homer: Pretend to care! (strangles Bart)

Cookie Kwan: [to Mayor Quimby] Joe, why won't you acknowledge our love child?
Mayor Quimby: Er, uh… that is not my baby.
Baby: [sounds like Mayor Quimby] Er, uh, waaaah!

(While Homer and Marge at the women's conference)
Marge: I don't see Lisa in any of the seminars.
Homer: And I'm growing ashamed of my penis.

Kent Brockman: Channel 6 News rocks! A car chase every night, or the weather girl wears a tube top! And if she doesn't, you win a pizza!

Homer: What happened to us, Marge? We used to feed each other cheese and laugh all night. Then came the heart attacks.

Homer (to Marge about Chloe): Oh, honey, her life can't compare to yours. You got three kids, a TV tray from Expo '67, and you're married to King Stink.

Chloe: (knocking on trunk) Lisa, what are you doing in there?
Lisa: Praying to Buddha, Jesus, Spongebob....there's no time to be picky!
(In heaven, Buddha, Jesus, and Spongebob are looking down)
Buddha: Perhaps we should help.
Spongebob: Screw her! (does his crazy laugh)

(Bart is sawing through the TV)
Marge: Bart, stop that!
Bart: This isn't what it looks like.

Homer: Good news, Marge! I've learned to walk naked on stilts!

Chloe: Mr. Mayor, Will you answer one question?
Mayor Quimby: Only if is submitted in writing. (Chloe gives him a paper and he eats it) Checkmate!

Lisa: There's lava under the ground.
Chloe: Actually, lava underground is called magma.
Lisa: You're so smart.
Marge: Shut up!

Season 15 Season 16 Quotes Season 17
Treehouse of Horror XVAll's Fair in Oven WarSleeping with the EnemyShe Used to Be My GirlFat Man and Little BoyMidnight RxMommie BeerestHomer and Ned's Hail Mary PassPranksta RapThere's Something About MarryingOn a Clear Day I Can't See My SisterGoo Goo Gai PanMobile HomerThe Seven-Beer SnitchFuture-DramaDon't Fear the RooferThe Heartbroke KidA Star is TornThank God It's DoomsdayHome Away from HomerThe Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.