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Shoplifting |
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- Bart: I gotta have those candy bars.
- Lisa: But Bart, we don't have any money.
- Bart: There's gotta be a way.
- Lisa: You better not be thinking about stealing those candy bars.
- Bart: That's it!
- Lisa: Better not, Bart!
- Bart: [stuffs candy bars into his shorts] So long, suckers! [gets caught by the security guard] They got me!
- Security Guard: You just sit right there and think about your crime, you dirty little shoplifter thief!
- Bart: Yes sir. [sticks tongue out as the security guard leaves]
- Grocery Store Manager: Is he scared?
- Security Guard: I think I got that kid so scared he can't even see straight. [at one point his eyes "pops" out]
- Grocery Store Manager: Well, good. Frighten him some more while I call his parents.
- Lisa: Poor Bart.
- Security Guard: Well, boy, it looks like the jig is-
- Bart: I know my right. You can't home me; you ain't got no evidence, copper. [looks in mirror, with hands and mouth covered in chocolate. gulps] Uh, is it too late to make a full confession?
- Marge: Your father and I are very disappointed in you, Bart.
- Bart: Gee, I haven't noticed.
- Homer: Bart!
- Marge: What have you learned from this experience, Bart?
- Bart: Well, Mom, I might have been caught and had a few bad moments there, but I gotta admit, the chocolate was delish.
- Marge: No, no, no, Bart the lesson is ultimately crime hurts the criminal.
- Bart: That's not true, mom. I got a free ride home, didn't I? [cut to the car. the car stops and Bart is booted off the car. the car drives away]