Sideshow Bob: Oh! I renew my objection to this pointless endeavor! informally now and by affidavit later... time permitting.
Chief Wiggum: Shut your wordhole! We gotta get this place clean for the air show.
Sideshow Bob: Air show? Buzz cut Alabamians spewing colored smoke from their whiz jets to the strains of "Rock You Like a Hurricane"? What kind of country-fried rube is still impressed by that?!
Sergeant: Authorization code?
Sideshow Bob: [impersonating Colonel Leslie Hapablap] Code!? Son, this is Colonel Hapablap. That fool McGuckett sprayed runway foam all over Chuck Yeager's Acura. Now get down there with the chamois triple time!
Sergeant: But Colonel, I'm under strict orders...
Sideshow Bob: Sweet Enola Gay, son! Get moving or I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a...
Sideshow Bob breaks character and speaks didainfully in his natural voice.
Sideshow Bob: ...snot party.
Sergeant: Sir! Right away Sir!
Sideshow Bob: Oh, and one more thing. I've... stolen a nuclear weapon. If you do not rid this city of television within two hours, I will detonate it. Farewell. *Tyranno-Vision buzzes off and citizens panic. Tyranno-Vision buzzes on again.* By the way, I'm aware of the irony of appearing on TV in order to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out. *Tyranno-Vision buzzes off once more*
Abe: This elevator only goes to the basement, and someone made an awful mess down there.
Mayor Quimby: This town will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a town nearby that will?
Bart: [checks out the Wright Brothers' Model B] Look at that hunk-a-junk!
Abe: [stutters in shock at Bart's rude comment and then scoffs] You're ignorant! That's the Wright Brothers' plane! At Kitty Hawk in 1903, Charles Lindbergh flew it 15 miles on a thimble full of corn oil. Single-handedly won us the civil war, it did!
Bart: So how do you know so much about American history?
Abe: I pieced it together mostly from sugar packets.
Homer: Pff. That Sideshow Mel thinks he's so big. Whatever happened to Sideshow Bob?
Homer: Oh yeah. But what I'll mainly remember is the laughter. I wonder he's doing now.
Lisa: [rushes out of the Air Force base and back to Homer and Marge] Mom, I found Sideshow Bob's hideout, and I got a secret message to the police, and I had a blimp fall on me, and I was in an atomic blast, but I'm okay now!
Homer: Well, I wrecked the gate, but you don't hear me bragging.
Sideshow Bob: Ah, for the days when aviation was a gentleman's pursuit back before every Joe sweat sock could wedge himself behind a lunch tray and jet off to Raleigh-Durham.
Bart: [spitting] Are you getting lots of bugs in your mouth, too? [spits]