Mother Simpson
Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming
The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular
Sideshow Bob: Oh! I renew my objection to this pointless endeavor! informally now and by affidavit later... time permitting.
Chief Wiggum: Shut your wordhole! We gotta get this place clean for the air show.
Sideshow Bob: Air show? Buzz cut Alabamians spewing colored smoke from their whiz jets to the strains of "Rock You Like a Hurricane"? What kind of country-fried rube is still impressed by that?!

Intercom buzzes.
Sergeant: Authorization code?
Sideshow Bob: [impersonating Colonel Leslie Hapablap] Code!? Son, this is Colonel Hapablap. That fool McGuckett sprayed runway foam all over Chuck Yeager's Acura. Now get down there with the chamois triple time!
Sergeant: But Colonel, I'm under strict orders...
Sideshow Bob: Sweet Enola Gay, son! Get moving or I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a...
Sideshow Bob breaks character and speaks didainfully in his natural voice.
Sideshow Bob: ...snot party.
Sergeant: Sir! Right away Sir!

Sideshow Bob: Oh, and one more thing. I've... stolen a nuclear weapon. If you do not rid this city of television within two hours, I will detonate it. Farewell. *Tyranno-Vision buzzes off and citizens panic. Tyranno-Vision buzzes on again.* By the way, I'm aware of the irony of appearing on TV in order to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out. *Tyranno-Vision buzzes off once more*

Soldiers open up a port-a-potty to reveal Abraham Simpson.
Abe: This elevator only goes to the basement, and someone made an awful mess down there.

Mayor Quimby: This town will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a town nearby that will?

Bart: [checks out the Wright Brothers' Model B] Look at that hunk-a-junk!
Abe: [stutters in shock at Bart's rude comment and then scoffs] You're ignorant! That's the Wright Brothers' plane! At Kitty Hawk in 1903, Charles Lindbergh flew it 15 miles on a thimble full of corn oil. Single-handedly won us the civil war, it did!
Bart: So how do you know so much about American history?
Abe: I pieced it together mostly from sugar packets.

Homer: Pff. That Sideshow Mel thinks he's so big. Whatever happened to Sideshow Bob?
Lisa: Don't you remember, Dad? He framed Krusty. He tried to kill Aunt Selma. He rigged an election.
Bart: And he tried to murder me!
Homer: Oh yeah. But what I'll mainly remember is the laughter. I wonder he's doing now.

Lisa: [rushes out of the Air Force base and back to Homer and Marge] Mom, I found Sideshow Bob's hideout, and I got a secret message to the police, and I had a blimp fall on me, and I was in an atomic blast, but I'm okay now!
Homer: Well, I wrecked the gate, but you don't hear me bragging.

Sideshow Bob: Ah, for the days when aviation was a gentleman's pursuit back before every Joe sweat sock could wedge himself behind a lunch tray and jet off to Raleigh-Durham.
Bart: [spitting] Are you getting lots of bugs in your mouth, too? [spits]

Season 6 Season 7 Quotes Season 8
Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)Radioactive ManHome Sweet Homediddly-Dum-DoodilyBart Sells His SoulLisa the VegetarianTreehouse of Horror VIKing-Size HomerMother SimpsonSideshow Bob's Last GleamingThe Simpsons 138th Episode SpectacularMarge Be Not ProudTeam HomerTwo Bad NeighborsScenes from the Class Struggle in SpringfieldBart the FinkLisa the IconoclastHomer the SmithersThe Day the Violence DiedA Fish Called SelmaBart on the Road22 Short Films About SpringfieldRaging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"Much Apu About NothingHomerpaloozaSummer of 4 Ft. 2
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