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Mountain of Madness
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The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show
Krusty: "And now for our parody of Mad About You entitled, "Mad About Shoe".
(goes to a bed with a giant shoe in it)
Hey baby, let's kiss, no tongue.
(audience boos)
Ugh, You're not going to like our N.Y.P.D Shoe sketch... it's pretty much the same thing."

(During the Krusty Komedy Klassic: Krusty steps out onstage. Three white "K"s are behind him)
Krusty the Clown: Hey-hey! It's great to be here at the Apollo Theater, and -- [notices the unfortunate initials of his comedy special behind him]: "KKK"? That's not good. [audience begins booing and chucking bottles and tomatoes at him]

Krusty: And now, Gerald Ford!
(Gerald Ford appears)
Gerald Ford: Thank you for having me, Krusty.
(Ford gives speech while Krusty makes faces behind him and crawl repeats "BORING!")
Gerald Ford: Now I would like to speak about something that is very important. The Boy Scouts of America have been molding men for generations but their membership has declined in recent years. I encourage all boys to consider...
(Gerald Ford sees Krusty making faces)
Gerald Ford: What are you doing?
Krusty: Thank you for coming. All the good presidents were busy! So, how are things with Nancy?
Gerald Ford: Betty!

TV Announcer: And now let's take a look at a young Charles Bronson in his short lived stint replacing Andy Griffith on The Andy Griffith Show.
Don Knotts: Where's Otis? He not in his cell.
Charles Bronson: I shot him.
Don Knotts: Well that's just... you WHAT?!
Charles Bronson: Now I'm going down to Emmett's Fix-It-Shop...to fix Emmett.

Homer: (singing) Shut up Flanders!
Ned: (singing) Okeli-dokeli-do!

Shary Bobbins: Hello, I'm Shary Bobbins.
Homer: Did you say Mary Pop—?
Shary Bobbins: No! I definitely did not! I'm an original creation, like Rickey Rouse and Monald Muck.

Homer: Who was your last employer?
Shary Bobbins: Lord and Lady Huffington of Sussex.
Homer: Marge, do we know them?
Shary Bobbins: No.
Homer: Come on, isn't he that guy I bowl with? The black guy?
Marge: That's Carl.
Homer: Oh, yeah. So you worked for Carl, eh?

Ned: Hi-diddly-ho, Shary Bobbins!
Snake: Yo, Shary Bobbins!
Nelson: I picked you some posies, Shary Bobbins.
Shary Bobbins: Oh, thank you, Nelson. (kisses him on the forehead)
Nelson: (blushing) Aw, geez!

Seymour Skinner: (ringing his bell) Boy for sale, boy for sale.
Jimbo Jones: Is it legal, man?
Seymour: Only here and Mississippi.

Groundskeeper Willie: Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her!
Shary Bobbins: It's good to see you, Willie.
Willie: That's not what you said the first time you saw me!

Quentin Tarantino: (following his Itchy & Scratchy cartoon) What I'm trying to say in this cartoon is that violence is everywhere in our society. You know, it's, like, even in breakfast cereals, man.

Pennyfeather: Hello, I'm Mrs. Pennyfeather.  I understand you are looking for a nanny.
Marge: Pleased to meet you.
Homer: Wait a minute, Marge.  I saw "Mrs. Doubtfire."  This is a man in drag! [starts pulling at her hair as if it were a wig] You're phony!  Fakey, phony broad! [runs after her] Gimme those!
Marge: Homer, if you're going to do that to every applicant, we're never going to find one.
Homer: Sorry.
Marge: Hello, I'm Marge
[Homer growls and jumps after her]

Kearney: I'm here about the nanny job. I'll keep a watchful eye on your kids and if they get out of line (hits his fist in his hand) pow!
Homer: I like him.
Kearney: Thanks and where do you keep the liqueur?
Homer: I hide a bottle of schnapps in the baby's crib.
Marge: I'm sorry young man, but you're not what we're looking for.
Kearney:(muttering) You tell me you blue-haired witch.
Marge: I heard that!