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'''A First and Now Classic Line'''
|episode= Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire
 
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|TV Simpsons|Bart the Genius|Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire}}
 
   
:'''Homer: '''How many grades does this school have?
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Bart: Hey Santa, what's shaking?
   
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Homer: (disguised voice) What's your name, Bart ...ner? - er - Little partner?
:''[Bart is singing in the school choir, so Marge cannot hear him individually]''
 
:'''[[Marge]]''': Isn't Bart sweet, Homer? He sings like an angel.
 
:'''[[Bart]]''': ''[close up, singing]'' Oh, Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile broke its wheel, and the Joker got awa- (he is cut off.)
 
   
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Bart: I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
:'''Bart''': Aw, come on Dad, this could be the miracle that saves the Simpsons' Christmas. If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. [[w:A Christmas Carol|It happened to Tiny Tim]], [[w:A Charlie Brown Christmas|it happened to Charlie Brown]], [[w:The Smurfs Christmas Special|it happened to The Smurfs]], and it's going to happen to us.
 
:'''Homer''': Oh, all right. Who's Tiny Tim?
 
   
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:'''Marge''': [While writing a Christmas letter] Maggie is walking by herself. Lisa got straight A's. And Bart...Well, we love Bart.
 
   
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:''[Marge shows Homer that the Christmas money jar is empty because of Bart]''
 
:'''Homer''': ''[gasps and screams]'' Oh! It's true! The jar is empty! Oh my God! We're ruined. Christmas is cancelled. No presents for anyone!
 
   
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'''Bart Requests a Tattoo for Christmas'''
:'''Marge''': You will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas.
 
:'''[[w:Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Yeah, if you want one you'll have to pay for it out of your own allowance.
 
   
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Marge: You will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas.
:'''Marge''': Alright, children. Let me have those letters and I'll send them to Santa's workshop in the North Pole.
 
:'''Bart''': Oh please, there's only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name ain't Santa.
 
   
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Homer: Yeah. If you want one, you'll have to pay for it out of your own allowance.
:'''Marge''': ''[writing]'' Dear Friends of the Simpson Family, We had some sadness and some gladness this year. First the sadness: our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to Kitty Heaven. But we bought a new little cat, Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grampa is still with us, feisty as ever. Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A's and Bart... well, we love Bart. The magic of the season has touched us all. Homer sends his love. Happy Holidays, The Simpsons.
 
   
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:'''Tattoo Removal Technician''': ''[turning on laser]'' Now whatever you do boy, don't squirm. You don't want to get this sucker near your eye or groin.
 
   
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:'''Bart''': Hey Santa, what's shakin' man?
 
:'''Homer''': ''[as Santa]'' What's your name, Bart-ner... er... little partner?
 
:'''Bart''': I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
 
:'''Homer''': ''[annoyed]'' I'm Jolly ol' Saint Nick.
 
:'''Bart''': Oh yeah? We'll see about that! ''[Pulls off his fake beard, just as their photo is taken]''
 
:'''Homer''': D'oh!
 
   
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'''Annual Christmas Pageant - The Children's Choir Sings "Jingle Bells"'''
:'''Bart''': Dad, you must really love us to sink so low.
 
   
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Marge: (whispering) Isn't that sweet, Homer? He sings like an angel.
:'''Homer''': Thirteen bucks? Hey, wait a minute!
 
:'''Clerk''': That's right. One hundred and twenty dollars gross, less social security, less unemployment insurance, less Santa training, less costume purchase, less beard rental, less Christmas club. See you next year.
 
   
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Bart: (close up, singing) Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile broke its wheel, the Joker got away.
:'''Homer''': ''[buying a chewtoy for Maggie]'' It says it's for dogs, but she can't read.
 
   
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:'''Homer''': Dasher, Dancer... Prancer... Nixon, Comet, Cupid... Donna Dixon?
 
   
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:'''Marge''': This is the best gift of all, Homer.
 
:'''Homer''': It is?
 
:'''Marge''': Yes, something to share our love - and frighten prowlers.
 
:'''Bart''': And if he runs away, he'll be easy to catch.
 
   
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'''Payday'''
:'''Homer''': ''[as Santa, while he is walking out of his 'workshop']'' Hey little kids! Santa's back! Ho! Ho! ''[hits his head on the doorway]'' D'oh! Dammit to---
 
   
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Homer: Thirteen bucks? Hey wait a minute!
:''[Homer falls off the roof whilst trying to hang Christmas lights]''
 
:'''Homer''': Alright kids, prepare to be dazzled. Marge! Turn on the juice!
 
:''[Marge turns on the Christmas lights, and the results are less than spectacular. One bulb even blows out]''
 
:'''Homer''': Well, what do you think kids? Beauty, isn't it?
 
:'''[[Lisa]]''': Nice try, Dad.
 
:'''Bart''': Ugh...
 
   
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Clerk: That's right. One hundred and twenty dollars gross, less social security, less unemployment insurance, less Santa training, less costume purchase, less beard rental, less Christmas club. See you next year.
:''[The whole family sings at the end, with Grampa playing the music by piano]''
 
:'''Family''': ''Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer''
 
:''Had a very shiny nose,''
 
:''And if you ever saw it,''
 
:''You would even say it glows.''
 
:'''Bart''': Like a lightbulb!
 
:'''Homer''': Bart!!!
 
:'''Family''': ''All of the other reindeer''
 
:''Used to laugh and call him names.''
 
:'''Lisa''': Like Schnozzola!
 
:'''Homer''': Lisa!!!
 
:'''Family''': ''They never let poor Rudolph''
 
:''Join in any reindeer games.''
 
:'''Bart''': Like strip poker!
 
:'''Homer''': I'm warning you two...!!
 
:'''Family''': ''Then, one foggy Christmas Eve,''
 
:''Santa came to say...''
 
:'''Marge''': Take it, Homer!
 
:'''Homer''': Err... ''"Rudolph, get your nose over here,''
 
:''So you can guide my sleigh... today."''
 
:'''Abe''': Oh, Homer...
 
:'''Family:''' ''Then all the reindeer loved him,''
 
:''And they shouted out with glee:''
 
:''"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,''
 
:''You'll go down in history!"''
 
:'''Bart:''' Like [[w:Attila the Hun|Attila the Hu]]- ''[gets strangled by Homer]''
 
:'''Homer:''' Why, you little--!
 
   
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'''Bart Simpson on Santa'''
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Marge: All right children. Let me have those letters. I'll send them to Santa's workshop at the North Pole.
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Bart: Oh, please. There's only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name ain't Santa.
 
{{Season 1 Q}}
 
{{Season 1 Q}}
 
[[Category:Quotes]]
 
[[Category:Quotes]]

Revision as of 07:12, August 12, 2010

A First and Now Classic Line

Bart: Hey Santa, what's shaking?

Homer: (disguised voice) What's your name, Bart ...ner? - er - Little partner?

Bart: I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?


Bart Requests a Tattoo for Christmas

Marge: You will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas.

Homer: Yeah. If you want one, you'll have to pay for it out of your own allowance.


Annual Christmas Pageant - The Children's Choir Sings "Jingle Bells"

Marge: (whispering) Isn't that sweet, Homer? He sings like an angel.

Bart: (close up, singing) Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile broke its wheel, the Joker got away.


Payday

Homer: Thirteen bucks? Hey wait a minute!

Clerk: That's right. One hundred and twenty dollars gross, less social security, less unemployment insurance, less Santa training, less costume purchase, less beard rental, less Christmas club. See you next year.


Bart Simpson on Santa

Marge: All right children. Let me have those letters. I'll send them to Santa's workshop at the North Pole.

Bart: Oh, please. There's only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name ain't Santa. Template:Season 1 Q

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