- Hobo: Well, I 'spose I could spin you a few more yarns, but first, who wants to give me a sponge bath. I'm filthy!
- Homer: All right, but your next story better be good.
- Hobo: Now, get in there... don't be shy.
- Hobo: Mornin, folks!
- Homer: What are you gonna do to us?
- Hobo: Now don't worry, I'm not a stabbin' hobo, I'm a singin' hobo! (singing) Nothing beats the hobo life! Stabbin' folks with my hobo knife!
- Homer: Oh, I get it. When I'm crushing and killing you, you don't like me. But when I can save your lives, suddenly I'm Mr. Popular.
- Lenny: Yeah, that's pretty much it.
- Homer: Woo hoo! I'm Mr. Popular!
- Homer: (singing) Cleaning my gun with the safety off, safety off, safety off. Cleaning my gun with the--Whoopsie.
- (Homer shoots a buffalo.)
- Lisa: Dad, you just killed a poor defenseless buffalo.
- Homer: A poor delicious buffalo. He'll be dinner for the whole wagon train.
- (Homer shoots another buffalo.)
- Lisa: Why'd you kill another one?
- Homer: Dessert.
- Moe: Look, we gotta do something about Bunyan. We're goin' broke just feedin' and clothin' the guy.
- Carl: Hey! I say we get him drunk and drag him out of town, the same way we got out Laura Ingalls Wilder.
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